Tape 40 opens with an image that’s equal parts slapstick and unsettling: Caleb, attempting what he calls “skywalking,” ties his shoelaces around his hands until he can’t breathe, only to be spun around, slapped on the backside, and sent rolling down a hill like a roly-poly bug. Inexplicably, Hat Guy leaves the room mid sentence to holler a bunch of cattle off the front lawn. From there, the conversation shifts to springtime, a subject taken with Bootstuck’s usual logic: last year it meant Caleb strapping springs to his shoes; this year it will mean scattering springs across the forest floor so that no matter where you step, “it’s always spring.”

The discussion meanders through maroon Pontiacs, pastel colors, and the persistent complaint that everyone in Bootstuck interrupts each other. Dave drifts in with thoughts on gas mileage, while a failed attempt to spell “psychiatrist” leads to the revelation that Bootstuck has no doctors for the mind—only one who deals with ingrown toenails. Mental health, it seems, is handled socially: if someone feels blue, Steven paints them red until they’re a different color and “all’s good.”

The tape ends with a plan for a “fashion show at lunch,” a recurring event that involves burlap sacks and questionable creativity. While most will opt for the simple hole-in-the-top approach, Dave apparently intends to fashion burlap chaps—an idea received with the confused question: “You can see your bones?”

Tape 40 is as fractured as it is vivid: a portrait of a town where footwear physics, psychiatry, and lunchtime couture share equal importance, and where coherence is always just out of reach.

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The tape opens with a heated accusation of lying, quickly derailed into a plan for a New Month’s Resolution: stop working out and start smoking (though the order is negotiable). A discussion of pizza geometry (round box, square pie, triangle slice) swerves into the concept of “topic drift,” which apparently includes drifting cars in Tokyo via mysterious wind power.

Attention shifts to Stephen “Marbles” — a Bootstuck local with mismatched legs and shoes that somehow even out. His nickname sparks a brief shouting match of “Marbles!” before a strange “ding, ding, ding” interrupts. The host rushes outside, tangled in an extra-long phone cord, only to be hit in the eye with an orange while it’s snowing heavily.

This prompts the revelation of 16 feet of snow (measured as 768 buckets), with Caleb on “bucket duty” and a warning against alternative uses for the bucket. Barry, a newcomer “from somewhere else” (population: sign, flag, post, and a soon-to-arrive office), is expected to help dig out tomorrow — assuming the uphill, no-tire traffic doesn’t stop him.

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The tape begins with a triumphant ode to soup — thick enough to hold a flag and hotter than rice — before veering into an odd declaration that “science is a fact.” This somehow segues into a taxonomy lesson where chickens are “land fish” and tuna is “the chicken of the sea.”

A grim food memory surfaces: polishing off a case of tuna, only to realize the tins bore a picture of a cat. From there, dinner talk becomes a roulette of chickpeas, mashed pumpkin, and the occasional mystery can — sometimes opened “between your legs” to check for “different nuts.”

It all ends with an inexplicable cigarette commercial and the cryptic farewell: “Always down, never up.”

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What begins with a vague reference to “current affairs” quickly turns into another Bootstuck spiral of half-finished thoughts, potatoes, and emotional trauma. The narrator once again attempts to document meaningful insight from the townsfolk, only to be met with suspicious snuggling rumors, unsettling clown chatter, and a sudden confession about itchy necks and abandoned parents. Somewhere in the chaos, a circus is being planned — or perhaps invented on the spot. Either way, Dave is involved, Caleb may be painting horses, and someone has three photos of snails ready for the big show.

Highlights:

• A cryptic tutorial on “squeezing it a bit” leads directly into a conversation about current affairs, specifically Dave and Rita’s suspicious offseason snuggling.
• Circus talk begins: Caleb may paint horses; Geraldine is offering pigs and mud; snails will be slowly paraded.
• A debate on whether to include clowns. The official position: “Bootstuck ain't got time for evil.”
• Redneck lineage, parental abandonment, and a plaid jacket left behind by a father who disappeared when the speaker was three.

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In this unusually musical instalment, the town confronts the potential arrival of a Walmart with its usual level of deeply flawed logic and overly enthusiastic planning.

The tape opens with a morning anthem, improvised in real time and including references to jackets, wolves, and " Walking your Steven" Things escalate quickly from there.

Concerned about the rise of future tourism and traffic, the gang discusses installing traffic lights in the center of town. There’s only one problem: Bootstuck has just one intersection and no actual traffic. Solutions include painting the lights black so they don’t bother anyone, or replacing traditional signals with colors like blue — or going back to the system of “just go whenever you want,” which is already in place.

Despite confusion, someone claims to have ordered traffic lights from Amazon — the rainforest, not the website — suggesting Caleb be shipped back in the box to harvest wood. For what purpose? Possibly to carve woodpecker shapes. Or the Bootstuck insignia. It’s unclear.

Highlights Include:

• “Morning Time” sung with full commitment
• A serious debate on black traffic lights
• Misunderstanding Amazon as a rainforest-based manufacturing hub
• Plans to mail Caleb to South America
• Closing jug band number

If you enjoy small-town meetings that spiral into illegal imports, spontaneous folk music, and woodcarving diplomacy with the King of Canada—this one’s a must.

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EPISODE SUMMARY (Tape 35):
A long-distance call with questionable audio quality spirals quickly into fashion advice, livestock comparisons, silent Caleb, and a surprisingly long telephone cord.

Listeners are introduced to a popular local garment made of lamb wool and allegedly topped with a rabbit testicle pom-pom. If no rabbits are available, a Ferret substitute will do. The logistics are unclear.

Music preferences in Bootstuck are discussed, but the town’s recent shipment of broken Bluetooth earbuds means no one can actually hear anything — leading to mass public singalongs that are entirely disconnected and wildly off-key. Gerald has blue teeth and is therefore assumed to be the key to solving this.

Key Moments:

• Fleece hats with rabbit nuts
• Gerald’s blue teeth = community Bluetooth
• Music headphones that don’t play music
• A one-kilometer landline shared with Dave ( Don?)
• Lollipop time anthem (“Pop pop pop!”)

If you’ve ever tried to get a straight answer in a snowstorm while wearing a testicle hat and shouting Britney lyrics into a dead Bluetooth earbud — this one’s for you.

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A long-distance call with questionable audio quality spirals quickly into fashion advice, livestock comparisons, silent Caleb, and a surprisingly long telephone cord.

Listeners are introduced to a popular local garment — a fleece-lined “chook” (hat) — made of lamb wool and allegedly topped with a rabbit testicle pom-pom. If no rabbits are available, a fairy substitute will do. The logistics are unclear.

Music preferences in Bootstuck are discussed, but the town’s recent shipment of broken Bluetooth earbuds means no one can actually hear anything — leading to mass public singalongs that are entirely disconnected and wildly off-key. Gerald has blue teeth and is therefore assumed to be the key to solving this.

Meanwhile, Caleb remains silent, which is apparently normal. Internal organ communication is suspected.

A box-delivered phone cord — one kilometer long — allows the caller to take calls deep into the woods, provided he doesn’t go uphill. He just follows the cord home. The math checks out.

Key Moments:

• Fleece hats with rabbit or fairy anatomy
• Gerald’s blue teeth = community Bluetooth
• Music headphones that don’t play music
• A one-kilometer landline shared with Dave
• Lollipop time anthem (“Pop pop pop!”)

If you’ve ever tried to get a straight answer in a snowstorm while wearing a testicle hat and shouting Britney lyrics into a dead Bluetooth earbud — this one’s for you.

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This recovered tape opens with a critical musical analysis of Led Zeppelin (mistakenly called Heavy Blimps), accused of using “pots and pans” as instruments and expressing “a lot of love” — roughly 600 loves, by one count.

Rita, a long-anticipated seasonal force (or possibly a person), rolls into town early, knocking over Caleb in the process. Her arrival is announced by screaming, thuds, and a haunting playback from last Christmas.

The conversation wanders through town-wide blackouts, mismatched hot dog and hamburger buns from mysterious airdrops, and the difficulty of finding batteries in packs of three for flashlights that require two.

A casino is announced, featuring highly suspect versions of poker (“poke the girl beside you”) and something called Red Jack — which may or may not involve clapping.

Finally, wisdom is sought from the town owl, who unfortunately has been recently taxidermied. A musical number about green lollipops closes out the tape.

Key moments:

• “Dark outs” and makeshift flashlights
• Rita’s destructive descent
• Pseudo-poker rules involving physical poking
• Town owl’s posthumous silence
• Green lollipop confusion: is it apple... or just lollipop?

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