Key Links:

📖 Get My Book: Punishment-Free Parenting: The Brain-Based Way to Raise Kids Without Raising Your Voice – Available Now

📖 Get Alfie Kohn's Books: Unconditional Parenting and Punished By Rewards
📝 Join My Email List for exclusive insights, parenting tips, and updates – Sign Up Here

Episode Description:

What if the very thing we’ve been striving for as parents—obedience—wasn’t actually a virtue? What if, instead of making our kids good, it made them vulnerable?

In this episode, we take a hard look at the dangers of unquestioning compliance. We start at the Nuremberg Trials, where Nazi officials defended their crimes with four chilling words: I was just following orders. We revisit the infamous Milgram experiment, where 65% of ordinary people delivered what they believed to be fatal electric shocks—just because an authority figure told them to.

Then, we bring it home.
How does this obsession with obedience play out in our parenting?

With the help of Alfie Kohn—renowned author and parenting expert—we examine why traditional parenting methods prioritize compliance, why that might be a problem, and what we can do instead. We break down research showing that demanding obedience undermines empathy, critical thinking, and moral integrity.

By the end of this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ Why most parents unknowingly work against their long-term parenting goals
✅ How punishment and rewards both create conditional love—and what to do instead
✅ The real-world dangers of raising kids to obey without question
✅ What research-backed strategies actually help kids become ethical, independent, and strong

Because one day, we won’t be the authority in their lives anymore. And the only voice left… will be their own.

Chapters & Key Moments:

🔹 (00:10) The Chilling History of Obedience – From Nuremberg to Milgram: How history warns us about blind compliance
🔹 (07:00) The Parent’s Dilemma – Why parents say they want independent, critical thinkers… but demand obedience
🔹 (12:45) The Cost of Compliance – What happens when we condition kids to follow orders at all costs
🔹 (18:10) Unconditional Parenting with Alfie Kohn – A deep dive into parenting beyond punishment and rewards
🔹 (26:40) The Real Goal of Parenting – How to raise kids who think for themselves, challenge injustice, and make good choices

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IT'S HERE!

Get Punishment-Free Parenting on Audiobook

Why does it feel like one partner carries the weight of managing the home and kids while the other thinks everything is equal? If you've ever felt exhausted by the invisible labor of parenting—or if you've ever felt like nothing you do measures up to your partner’s expectations—this episode is for you.

In this episode of The Whole Parent Podcast, I sit down with Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play, to unpack the division of labor in parenting. We dive into the mental load, the emotional labor, and why so many families fall into patterns where one parent (usually mom) takes on the bulk of the work—often without even realizing it.

Eve shares the Fair Play framework, a system that helps couples move from frustration and resentment to true partnership in running a household. We’ll talk about:

✔️ Why "helping" isn't the same as "ownership"
✔️ How assumptions about gender roles silently shape our parenting dynamics
✔️ The hidden labor of planning, managing, and executing daily family life
✔️ How to start creating a more equitable system
✔️ The simple mindset shift that can transform your relationship

If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “I have to do everything around here” and “I shouldn’t have to ask for help”, OR "My partner doesn't trust me" and "I can't do anything right...." this episode will change the way you think about parenting, partnership, and fairness in your home.

📖 Punishment-Free Parenting

🃏Fair Play Cards

📖 Fair-Play Book

🔗 Fair Play resources

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or a friend. Let’s change the way we divide the mental load—one family at a time.

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Get your own copy of the audiobook HERE

What do we do when we mess up as parents?

In this Episode of the Whole Parent Podcast, I read a long section from the Chapter on Repair from my brand new book Punishment-Free Parenting: The Brain-Based Way to Raise Kids Without Raising Your Voice.

Every parent has moments they wish they could take back. Maybe it’s the sharp tone, the overreaction, or the moment frustration boiled over. But what happens next matters even more than the mistake itself. In this key section from my book, Punishment-Free Parenting, all about reconciliation and repair—how to rebuild trust, reconnect with your child, and model emotional responsibility.

Parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up, even after we mess up.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✔️ Why mistakes are inevitable in parenting—and why that’s okay
✔️ How rupture and repair strengthen your relationship with your child
✔️ A step-by-step approach to making things right after a parenting misstep
✔️ The power of modeling apologies and accountability for your kids
✔️ Why repair isn’t just about saying sorry—it’s about rebuilding trust

Key Takeaways:

• Rupture is normal. Repair is what builds resilience.
• Apologizing to your child teaches them how to take responsibility for their own actions.
• Connection, not control, is what makes discipline truly effective.
• It’s never too late to make things right.

Resources & Links:
📖 Punishment-Free Parenting
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