This week on the Morning Crankers Comedy Podcast, Hans takes you on a bullet-train ride through the weirdest headlines the universe coughed up. Iceland now has MOSQUITOES for the first time ever, every shrimp in England apparently parties harder than Motley Crüe, Amazon is turning delivery drivers into cyborgs with Terminator glasses, and ChatGPT now works BETTER when you're mean to it (which is honestly the most human AI behavior yet).

From a couple who broke into a restaurant, hooked up in front of a floral wall, THEN robbed it — to ancient 1,300-year-old poop being analyzed like it’s a limited edition vintage — to space debris literally slapping a Boeing mid-flight… this episode is absolute chaos in the best way.

It’s dumb. It’s smart. It’s true. And yes — it’ll make you feel better about your own life choices.

Welcome to the only comedy news show where shrimp are coked up, kidney marriages are romantic, and humanity is clearly speedrunning the apocalypse. Let’s crank.

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