Today, I tuned in to Joel Osteen’s message about separation, purification, and release and it landed right where it needed to. Sometimes God doesn’t just want to bless us; He wants to purify what’s blocking the blessing.

I sat there with my notebook, writing down the things and people I needed to release. One of them was the man I met in New York.

For a while, I held onto the idea that maybe he was the one. But today I realized something freeing: if I keep holding space for someone who isn’t chosen for me, I’m closing the door on the one who is.

When we met, he was drawn to my story, my brokenness, my pain, my rebuilding. I think he felt comfortable knowing I wasn’t completely together. But that’s not love. That’s trauma bonding finding comfort in pain instead of growth.

So I told him the truth: “You were not chosen by God for me. But we can be friends with boundaries.” Saying that wasn’t cruel; it was cleansing.

Because when you finally release the people who were only assigned to your past pain, you make room for those who are meant to meet your present peace.

I’m also learning to stop rushing love to stop over giving too soon, hoping it’ll convince someone to stay. Fear has a way of pushing us to overextend, but faith teaches us to pace ourselves.

Today, I forgave my past. I released the rush. I chose peace over panic, process over pressure.

And I realizedRelease isn’t rejection. It’s respect.Respect for who I’m becoming. Respect for what God is preparing. Respect for the love that will see me not my wounds, but my worth.

The Savant Society is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.