Épisodes

  • 273. Abuse, Manipulation, Narcissism, Toxic People, Gaslighting & More

    273. Abuse, Manipulation, Narcissism, Toxic People, Gaslighting & More
    Sep 9 2025
    The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast does not seek to be shocking or sensational. Understand that Domestic Violence and its effects are oftentimes alarming. Please take care of yourself first. In this episode, you will hear lifesaving insights about abuse, manipulation, toxic people, narcissism, gaslighting, and more. I urge you to listen to this episode several times. And share it with someone you know who needs to hear it. See if you can pick out the threads that run through what is listed. If you are in a relationship with someone who feels like he or she is being described by what you hear in this episode, contact someone you trust and talk about it. Consider getting in touch with a domestic violence counselor, because you might be in a dangerous situation. One last point: waiting for an abusive partner to change for the good will get you nowhere. Chances are, that abusive partner of yours will become worse, and that is not in your best interest. The information in this episode came from interviews with survivors on this podcast. It was also derived from much reading and note taking. If a relationship feels odd to you, slow down, take time away, consider other options. Better to go it alone than stay in a relationship driven by someone you have concerns about. Abusive (unhealthy) relationships do not tend to get better (or safer). The longer you stay in one, the harder it will be to break free. Believe this! The lesson is: Get out early from a relationship like this. Get out when things feel wrong to you. Trust your gut! Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    24 min
  • 272. - Chloe Pt 2 of 2 Pts - Dating Abuse and Gaslighting Led to Self Harm

    272. - Chloe Pt 2 of 2 Pts - Dating Abuse and Gaslighting Led to Self Harm
    Sep 3 2025
    This story comes with disclaimers and trigger warnings. This is part two of a two-part story. In part two, our survivor talks about her use of self harm as a means to control her emotions. Self harm, or cutting, is of course not safe. And it is not a means to improve one's life. By all means, seek professional help if you want to learn more. The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast does not seek to be shocking or sensational. But understand that Domestic Violence and its effects are oftentimes alarming. Please take care of yourself first. Chloe's story centers on her relationship with a man named David. When they met, he was an injured athlete recovering from a recent surgery. David knew how to pour on the charm. Not only an athlete, David was a first-rate manipulator. Chloe was perfect for him to eventually dominate. He not only isolated her from her friends. He also isolated her from her sense of free will. Ask yourself if you would stay in a relationship where your partner acted anything like this abuser. The lesson is: Get out early from a relationship like this. Get out when things feel wrong to you. And, as Chloe will tell you, trust your gut! If you have time, be sure to add a review for WHEN DATING HURTS on whatever podcast player you use. Reviews encourage others to listen, and when they do, they learn. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    54 min
  • 271. - Chloe Pt 1 of 2 Pts - Dating Abuse and Gaslighting Led to Self Harm

    271. - Chloe Pt 1 of 2 Pts - Dating Abuse and Gaslighting Led to Self Harm
    Sep 2 2025
    This story comes with disclaimers and trigger warnings. This is part one of a two-part story. In part two, our survivor talks about her use of self harm as a means to control her emotions. Self harm, or cutting, is of course not safe. And it is not a means to improve one's life. By all means, seek professional help if you want to learn more. The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast does not seek to be shocking or sensational. But understand that Domestic Violence and its effects are oftentimes alarming. Please take care of yourself first. Chloe's story centers on her relationship with a man named David. When they met, he was an injured athlete recovering from a recent surgery. David knew how to pour on the charm. Not only an athlete, David was a first-rate manipulator. Chloe was perfect for him to eventually dominate. He not only isolated her from her friends. He also isolated her from her sense of free will. Ask yourself if you would stay in a relationship where your partner acted anything like this abuser. The lesson is: Get out early from a relationship like this. Get out when things feel wrong to you. And, as Chloe will tell you, trust your gut! If you have time, be sure to add a review for WHEN DATING HURTS on whatever podcast player you use. Reviews encourage others to listen, and when they do, they learn. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    45 min
  • 276. "Marie" - Was Her Sister Bound to Become a DV Statistic?

    276. "Marie" - Was Her Sister Bound to Become a DV Statistic?
    Aug 26 2025
    This WHEN DATING HURTS episode comes with trigger warnings about descriptions of drugs and horrible violence in relationships. If this story becomes too uncomfortable for you, perhaps turn it off and direct your full attention someplace safe for you. Marie and her siblings grew up in a family with two parents whose actions underscore they probably never wanted to be parents. They lived in a dangerous neighborhood in New Jersey where falling in with the wrong crowd was practically a guarantee. Marie's sister was an attractive blonde who had great difficulty in school starting in the fifth grade due to relentless "mean-girls-style" bullying. So, she stopped attending school completely. In fact, Marie's sister did not attend the remainder of elementary school or high school. That left her with too much time, and she fell in with the worst characters in the neighborhood. A crowd that would victimize her continuously with drugs and unwanted sexual encounters. Listening to this WHEN DATING HURTS episode, it will become a temptation to "victim blame" Marie's sister and/or Marie's family. Maybe some of that is deserved. But Marie's sister's spoken and unspoken "cries for help" were never satisfied. She did what she could without support. The takeaway is: without helping our young in their formative years, they might seek "love and attention" in places that can be horribly unhealthy. Sometimes, "fatally" unhealthy. This is Marie's story about her sister, her family, and herself. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 h et 35 min
  • 275. After 3 Years, Host Bill Mitchell Revisits the "What Was That Like" Podcast

    275. After 3 Years, Host Bill Mitchell Revisits the "What Was That Like" Podcast
    Aug 19 2025
    Three years ago, I was asked to appear on a huge podcast called, "What Was That Like". The host is Scott Johnson. "WWTL" is a HUGE podcast with many thousands of listeners. It is as successful a podcast as was ever created. In 2022, appearing on WWTL was a great opportunity to boost my listening audience if I did well. Apparently, I was good enough to see my podcast take off in more ways than I expected. In this new WHEN DATING HURTS episode, you will hear my original interview from 2022 followed by an update recorded a couple of months ago (summer of 2025). Both recordings put together give a clear understanding of what my family endured around the time of my daughter's tragedy in 2005. I am proud of these interviews. They bring clarity to what it's like to have a parent's worst nightmare put upon a family. We met our challenge by turning it into a way to warn others. If you have time, be sure to add a review for WHEN DATING HURTS on whatever podcast player you use. Reviews encourage others to listen, and when they do, they learn. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 h et 19 min
  • 270. Natalie - Pt 2 of 2 Pts - "Bad Pickers" Often Pick Horrible Abusers

    270. Natalie - Pt 2 of 2 Pts - "Bad Pickers" Often Pick Horrible Abusers
    Aug 13 2025
    Some survivors become "bad pickers". It seems like, whoever they start a relationship with turns out to be a bad actor. Maybe an abuser. But, time and time again, no matter how hard they try, bad picker's partners inevitably turn from dream dates to total nightmares. Warning signs are present but not recognized. Or they are ignored. "Bad pickers" can also become "fixers". Fixers try to "fix" their partners. Sometimes they get married or have children while everything around them gets worse. This is a "bad picker story". Our bad picker is Natalie. In part one she picked Mike. In part two, this episode, she picks Joe. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    39 min
  • 269. Natalie - Pt 1 of 2 Pts - "Bad Pickers" Often Pick Horrible Abusers

    269. Natalie - Pt 1 of 2 Pts - "Bad Pickers" Often Pick Horrible Abusers
    Aug 12 2025
    Some survivors become "bad pickers". It seems like, whoever they start a relationship with turns out to be a bad actor. Maybe an abuser. But, time and time again, no matter how hard they try, bad picker's partners inevitably turn from dream dates to total nightmares. Warning signs are present but not recognized. Or they are ignored. "Bad pickers" can also become "fixers". Fixers try to "fix" their partners. Sometimes they get married or have children while everything around them gets worse. This is a "bad picker story". Our bad picker is Natalie. In part one she picks Mike. In part two, she picks Joe. This is part one with Natalie and Mike. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    45 min
  • 268. Savannah - Her Abuser Dominated Her LIfe. Even Post-Marriage.

    268. Savannah - Her Abuser Dominated Her LIfe. Even Post-Marriage.
    Aug 5 2025
    Savannah was in this relationship for a little less than a year and felt she lost her sense of sanity. She had been in financial and physically abusive relationships before, but this one was different. The psychological abuse was the most devastating thing she had ever encountered. Her abuser isolated her from all her friends – even isolated her from herself, because it got to a point where she couldn't trust her own mind. Savannah tells us her in-depth story. From growing up with her mother and father to meeting Brad the first time. He knew how to work his slow and steady abuse from first glance. Always playing mind games up to and including becoming married to her. No amount of effort would get him to let up. After their break up, his tricks continued post-separation. A"must-listen-to" abuse story. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 h et 28 min