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When This Mom Stopped Being the Default Parent (Everything Changed) with Ryley Miller

When This Mom Stopped Being the Default Parent (Everything Changed) with Ryley Miller

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You know that mental catalog that's constantly running in your brain? The one calculating diaper changes, grocery lists, and whether there's milk for tomorrow's cereal while you're doing three other things? What if I told you that mental load doesn't have to be yours alone to carry?

In this episode, I'm joined by Ryley Miller, Executive Director of Rise of Society Alberta, for an honest conversation about the unseen emotional labor of motherhood and what happens when you actually negotiate sharing it. Ryley and I have both experienced role reversals in our relationships where our partners became the primary caregivers, and let me tell you—it changes everything.

We dig into:

  • Why negotiation (not resentment) is the key to redistributing mental load
  • How trading primary parent roles becomes "the great equalizer" in relationships
  • What doors open when you're not carrying all the invisible work alone
  • The ongoing dance between meaningful career pursuits and present motherhood
  • Why Ryley's philosophy of "we'll figure it out" is exactly what overwhelmed moms need to hear

Ryley shares how renegotiating the mental load in her marriage didn't just reduce her stress—it opened up space for her to run her organization, take professional risks, and even run for municipal council. But she's also honest about the ongoing challenge of staying present with her daughters while pursuing meaningful work.

If you're tired of being the default parent, the keeper of all family information, and the one whose brain automatically scans for everything that needs doing, this conversation offers hope and practical steps for creating something different.

Resources Mentioned:

  • Rise of Society Alberta: Ryley Miller's Bio
  • Fair Play Method (mentioned in episode)


Support the show

Meet Kayla Huszar, the Host of the Chill Like a Mother Podcast

Kayla Huszar is a Registered Social Worker and Expressive Arts Therapist who helps mothers reconnect with their authentic selves through embodied art-making. She encourages moms to embrace the messy, beautiful realities of their unique motherhood journeys. Whether through the podcast, 1:1 sessions or her signature Motherload Membership, Kayla creates a brave space for mothers to explore their identities beyond parenting, reconnect with their intuition, and find creative outlets for emotional expression and self-discovery.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your day—kids running amok and all! If this episode helped you feel a little more chill, please leave a rating or review. Your feedback helps the podcast reach more moms who need to hear it.

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