Action Comedy

Two childhood friends from Scotland and two illegitimate half-brothers from the deep South suffer and enjoy all manner of bizarre adventures that, it turns out, are somehow interconnected and, even more surprisingly, meaningful. The eclectic cast of characters features Socrates, Carl Jung, and Tony Randall, along with an ex-television evangelist with a penchant for booze, prostitutes, and uncomfortable knitwear who gets mugged in Miami by an almost pure-blooded Watusi warrior - and sets off on a road trip in a stolen motor home.

It’s ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents. But before that, it’s all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there’s that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves - they bite).

As Gary and Krystal drag Prince Larry and Princess Regan through the mud, a snapping turtle latches on to the prince’s manhood and a debate breaks out on whether to release the video. Will it help or hurt the Royal Ducats? Gary brawls with a man in a bunny suit at Wacky World. Venezuelans use Gary’s property for drug deals. Legendary dadaist Claude Balls stuns the world with his creations. Leotis, a giant Mekong catfish, becomes Gary’s friend and advisor, but only Gary can see the painfully shy Leotis.

After narrowly surviving a bus crash in high school with his best friends, science geek Knox Davis resolved to become so successful that he could have anything and everything he wants. Now he’s über-wealthy, a huge business success, and a notorious ladies’ man. Knox refuses to limit himself to one woman, but when his latest conquest - a blond beauty from the Alaskan bush - challenges his superficial ways, Knox begins to see the world through her eyes, and finds he likes what he sees. A nurturer at heart, Madison Abbott wants to put down roots.

19-year-old Phoebe and her courier father Al have recently moved to Devon, to a small cottage with a river at the end of the garden. Struggling with her health, Phoebe doesn't go out much these days. Instead, she spends her time playing detective—trying to deduce from her father's deliveries what kinds of lives her neighbours lead. When Phoebe finds an abandoned baby otter by the river, it's just the push she needs to finally step into her new community. Taking the otter to the local sanctuary, she feels a joy that she has not felt in a very long time.

Most people would be overjoyed to win $50,000 and the chance to star in a nation-wide commercial, even if it was just for a fast food joint like Camelot Burger. Then again, Clint Tucker has never been like most people. Ushered to the tropical paradise of Kenowai, he and the other winners undertake an island tradition for the cameras, one meant to free a local imprisoned deity. One with very specific requirements that have yet to be met. One that might just be a bit more authentic than any of them expected.

Alexei Lebedev’s journey on the Pacific Crest Trail begins with a single snake. And it is angling for the hot stranger who seemed to have appeared out of thin air. Lex is prepared for rattlesnakes, blisters, and months of solitude. What he isn’t prepared for is Ben Caravalho. But somehow—on a 2,500-mile trail—Alexei keeps running into the outgoing and charismatic hiker with golden-brown eyes, again and again. It might be coincidence. Then again, maybe there’s a reason the trail keeps bringing them together . . .

It's Lex's first day back at work after maternity leave. She worries about the separation from her daughter as she leaves her with the nanny - but it's normal to worry, right? But Lex isn't a 'normal' mother. She's an elite-trained killer who works for a covert department within Her Majesty's Secret Service. She's just been given the assignment of her life, but can she juggle motherhood with the life of an assassin?

The Pyrates is all the swashbucklers that ever were, rolled into one great technicoloured pantomime - tall ships and desert islands, impossibly gallant adventurers and glamorous heroines, buried treasure and black spots, devilish dons and ghastly dungeons, plots, duels, escapes, savage rituals, tender romance and steaming passion, all to the accompaniment of ringing steel, thunderous broadsides, sweeping film music, and the sound of cursing extras falling in the water and exchanging period dialogue.

Joe Spork repairs clocks, a far cry from his late father, a flashy London gangster. But when Joe fixes one particularly unusual device, his life is suddenly upended. Joe's client, Edie Banister, is more than just a kindly old lady - she's a former superspy. And the device? It's a 1950s doomsday machine. And having triggered it, Joe now faces the wrath of both the government and a diabolical South Asian dictator, Edie's old arch-nemesis.

Catering to the magical is a tough gig on a good day, but Bailey has few other options. Spiking drinks with pixie dust keeps the locals happy and beats cleaning up the world’s nastiest magical substances. But she could live without serving Police Chief Samuel Quinn most days of the week, especially after destroying his marriage.

After learning he has only months to live, Gemini Fowler is granted one shot to cheat death when a billionaire game developer offers to transfer his consciousness into a virtual realm using a technology that could end death as we know it. The catch: The only current VR with the capability to receive him is the unreleased video game, Enora Online, and Gemini must survive until level 10 or be completely wiped from the servers...and existence. Welcome to Enora Online, where virtual is reality.

Laia Rios is the sexiest adventurer and relic hunter on the earth. She travels the globe finding the most hidden artifacts and treasures—while having sex with the most sensual women of every nationality. When she gets word of a new clue to the legendary Lust Idol of the Amazons, she can't pass up the opportunity to find it. And all she'll have to do is pass through a temple filled with the most elaborate sex traps ever. And once through those sinful snares, she'll just have to deal with an ancient tribe of ridiculously muscular and beautiful women.

Piers Anthony delivers another tale set in the best-selling world of Xanth, filled with magic, surprises, adventure, and a few puns. Here's what the author has to say about his new book: "Five Portraits is a kind of sequel to Board Stiff in that it picks up where the other leaves off, with the same characters. Apart from that, it's one of my favorites within the series.

Pursued by police and bounty hunters, Dan Lambert flees south toward the Louisiana bayous. In the swamplands he meets Arden Halliday, a young woman who bears the vivid burdens of her own past and who is searching for a legendary faith healer called the Bright Girl. Looking for simple kindness in a world that rarely shows it, bound by a loyalty stronger than love, Dan and Arden set off on a journey of relentless suspense and impassioned discovery...over dark, twisting waterways into the mysterious depths of the human heart.

When a college graduate with a history of hapless jobs reads Robert Louis Stevenson's novel Treasure Island, she is dumbstruck by the timid design of her life. When had she ever dreamed a scheme? When had she ever, like Jim Hawkins, broke from her friends, raced for the beach, stolen a boat, killed a man, and eliminated an obstacle that stood in the way of her getting a hunk of gold? Convinced that Stevenson's book is cosmically intended for her, she redesigns her life according to its Core Values: boldness, resolution, independence and horn-blowing.

Sensible corporate lawyer Alaina Montgomery has been frustrating her matchmaking friends for years. But this time they've really tried to set her up with the wrong guy: Dylan Harrison, a free-spirited single dad who runs a ramshackle bar and bait shop. Appropriately enough, she meets him on the way to a science-fiction-themed masquerade party. When cops mistake the costumed pair for a lady of the evening and her client, Alaina and Dylan end up in jail together.

Ruddy McCann, former college football star, has experienced a seismic drop in popularity; he is now Kalkaska, Michigan’s full-time repo man and part-time bar bouncer. His best friend is his low-energy Basset hound Jake, with whom he shares a simple life of stealing cars. Simple, that is, until Ruddy starts hearing a voice in his head. The voice introduces himself as Alan Lottner, a dead realtor. Ruddy isn’t sure if Alan is real, or if he’s losing his mind.

Max is just your average girl. She works odd jobs, has a soul-crushing amount of debt, and happens to bear an uncanny resemblance to Europe’s youngest female prime minister, Sofia Christensen. Sofia is powerful, beautiful—and unfortunately, someone is trying quite hard to assassinate her. When the CIA approaches Max with a deal, a life-changing amount of money if she pretends to be Sofia on the prime minister’s annual Italian vacation, Max packs her bags for the Amalfi Coast.

Pete Griflow is the last person anyone would suspect of being a porn star. He’s quiet, gawky, and can’t even talk to guys without turning red. But on camera, he’s a different person. In the porn world, he’s Jaden Prime, a coquettish power bottom who’s been tantalizing fans for over a year now. Pete is in a rut, though, and he knows it. And what’s worse, his boss knows it. When Pete is given the opportunity to star in a huge summer production, sparks fly between him and his costar.