Bears Satire

Jimmy Martin has a sore head. He's used to smuggling illegal data in his headspace. But this is the first time it has started talking to him. The data claims to be a distinguished academic, author and civil rights activist. It also claims to be a bear. A bear named Honey. Jimmy has nothing against bioforms–he's one himself, albeit one engineered out of human stock–and works with them everyday in Hell City, building the future, staking mankind's claim to a new world: Mars.

The war of Honce drags on, and the roads and seas are littered with bodies. To everyone's stunned disbelief, Yeslnik the Fool has tipped the war's scales in his favor. The reign of the newly self-appointed King Yeslnik is already distinguished as the most bloody and merciless in Honce history. Trapped, Dame Gwydre and Father Artolivan concoct a desperate plot to join forces with Laird Ethelbert, the lesser of two vicious evils. But Ethelbert's paid assassins slew Jameston Sequin and nearly did the same to Bransen.

Did you know bears never die? There are many unknown facts about these fur-adorned mammals. Because the hard truths about bears can be difficult to process, society often shields itself from the realities of the true threat bears pose to mankind. Every book written on bears has been a lie. People live under the false impression that bears can be avoided, that bear attacks are survivable, and even that bears are not immortal. Suffice it to say, people have a lot to learn about bears, bear safety, bear attacks, and the impending war between man and bear.

Jimmy DiFrenzo is the head of one of the Figarazzi family, one of the toughest mob families around. He loves his gabagool, his gold chains, and his chest hair. He lives in a nice suburban home with his adoring wife and child. The perfect, yet hackneyed, life of a Sicilian American. But he has secrets. Blondie is a spoiled little rich girl who always gets her way. When her life becomes tedious, she begins a life of breaking into random homes. She never steals anything; she's in it for the excitement. All is going swimmingly, till she finds herself the wrong house.