Comedy Crime Fiction

The name’s Jett Turner and my early retirement to a lake on the Texas–Mexico border was supposed to be fun and easy going. It didn’t involve me writing up the twisted exploits of the head of the Acuña Cartel, reporting such to the DEA, or watching pandas blow up, people being fed to tigers, or learning about the bodily functions of the tortured.

When the manuscript of a debut crime novel arrives at a Parisian publishing house, everyone in the readers’ room is convinced it’s something special. And the committee for France’s highest literary honor, the Prix Goncourt, agrees. But when the shortlist is announced, there’s a problem for editor Violaine Lepage: She has no idea of the author’s identity. As the police begin to investigate a series of murders strangely reminiscent of those recounted in the book, Violaine is not the only one looking for answers.

Excuse me if I'm feeling sentimental. I might die tonight. My name is Candy Tran. Before I was hunting down serial killers and feeding men to alligators, I was a normal, church-going, tax-paying citizen. Before all of this. I've been given a chance to tell my story, so please, listen closely. This is going to take a while.

Criminal defense investigator Cecil Younger spends his days coaching would-be felons on how to avoid incriminating themselves. When Sherrie, a returning client with a good heart but a penchant for bad boys, asks him to track down some evidence that will help with her case, Cecil agrees. Cecil treks out to the shady apartment complex she mentioned, only to find his teenage daughter, Blossom, inside. He manages to get both the box Sherrie wanted and his daughter safely home, and later discovers the "evidence" is a large pile of cash - fifty thousand dollars, to be exact.

It’s 1997 at the dawn of the digital age in San Francisco. Ex-journalist and struggling alcoholic David “Itchy” Crane’s fledgling “information consultancy” business is getting slowly buried by bad luck, bad decisions, and the growing presence of the Internet. Before he can completely self-destruct, a private investigator offers him 50 grand to find a missing girl named Ashley. Crane takes the job because the money’s right and because the only clue to her disappearance is a dead-on oil portrait of Crane himself - painted by the mysterious missing girl he has never met.

Wilt Fusarium, a clueless American ad executive, unwittingly finds himself in the middle of political intrigue and revolution on the tiny island of Costa San Rica, while trying to save the ad agency's Choad Banana account. Complications and misunderstandings abound, as the island's despot leader thinks Wilt is a revolutionary, the revolutionaries think he's a government agent, the banana company thinks he's CIA, and the CIA, well, they don't know what to think.

Despite being son to Don Allesandro Fugue, AKA Big Al, AKA The Al Mighty, AKA King of the Denver streets, Tommy Fugue has never had much interest in the family business. But when his father assigns him the “summer job” of mastering digital money laundering, Tommy figures he can list some fake projects on FunFunder, pledge them with zombie accounts, and clean a dirty $20,000 in time for college in the fall.

Mob princess Lucie Rizzo can’t catch a break. Or take one. Building a business empire is hard work, even without her family’s notoriety. Staying out of trouble isn’t exactly her forte. Still, Lucie could use a vacation from Chicago winters and the town where everybody knows her father’s name. So when a certain Irish cop promises warmer days - and hotter nights - Lucie sees an offer she can’t refuse. Detective O’Hottie sweeps her away to the land of sun, sand, and...retirees? Before the real romantic getaway begins, Tim wants to visit his Uncle Henry.

Montclair Retirement Community is the poshest home for seniors Savannah, Georgia has to offer. When Montclair is under threat of foreclosure, its devil-may-care Southern Belle resident, Geraldine Ford, refuses to let her home be lost. After all, to Geraldine, Montclair and its residents are the closest thing to a home and family she has had in all 70 years of her life. She recruits her closest gal pals, who are also residents of Montclair, on a felonious adventure to acquire cash to pay Montclair’s debts.

Rachael O'Brien's summer starts with a promising trip to England with her eccentric grandmother, her dad's long-time assistant, and her very good-looking, very gay friend, Travis. She thinks that distancing herself from the southern men she's developed an appetite for is the emotional breather she needs. But for Rachael O'Brien, nothing is ever simple. An amethyst oyster brooch with a scandalous past leads her into trouble far from home. Discovering that she has been followed across the Atlantic, surviving British culinary challenges becomes the least of Rachael's worries.

Kelp has a plan, and John Dortmunder knows that means trouble. His friend Kelp is a jinx, and his schemes, no matter how well intentioned, tend to spiral quickly out of control. But this one, Kelp swears, is airtight. He read it in a book.

In county lock-up for a traffic charge, Kelp came across a library of trashy novels by an author named Richard Stark. The hero is a thief named Parker whose plans, unlike Kelp and Dortmunder's, always work out. In one, Parker orchestrates a kidnapping so brilliant that, Kelp thinks, it would have to work in real life.

After serial killer Randall Burton is diagnosed with a terminal disease, he decides to jump bail and go out in a blaze of glory. One woman stands in his way. Her name is Counsel Fungo, and she’s an exceptionally talented bounty hunter, if a little eccentric. Officially, her two canine companions are therapy dogs. But she considers them partners. Counsel will do anything to stop criminals from preying on the vulnerable, and she’s intent on stopping Randall Burton. Randall’s trail leads to sleepy Rancor, Pennsylvania.

Vientiane, 1980: For a man of his age and in his corner of the world, Dr. Siri, the 76-year-old former national coroner of Laos, is doing remarkably well - especially considering the fact that he is possessed by a 1,000-year-old Hmong shaman. That is, until he finds a mysterious note tied to his dog's tail. The death threat is not just aimed at him, but at everyone he holds dear. And whoever wrote the note claims the job will be executed in two weeks. Thus, at the urging of his wife and his motley crew of faithful friends, Dr. Siri must figure out who wants him dead.

All Mason Dixon wants is to mix classy drinks for classy people... Mason owns a bar, and he's not getting any younger. He wants nothing more than to retire in peace, fishing and drinking with the locals. But his past as an assassin is catching up with him. Mason moonlights as an assassin, taking jobs to remove "marks" from the playing field. It pays well, and he's good at it. So when he makes a mistake, things quickly get out of hand and he finds himself racing against the clock to save a life he inadvertently put into danger.

Failing grocery store manager Larry Prescott just wants a quickie. With a frigid wife waiting at home, Larry decides to have some extramarital fun with an employee named Maxine Watkins. Though he has no way of knowing it, Larry is sowing the seeds for a crime spree that will be dubbed “The MegaSaver Massacre”.

The Edgar-nominated author of Gun Monkeys is back with a thrill-a-minute suspense novel that mixes crime and academia - with hilarious results. Here Victor Gischler draws us into a wild and wicked world, where tenured professors are busy burying bodies, cash-up-front P.I.’s hunt for missing coeds and one desperate street-tough has to decide which he’d rather be: a live poet or a dead criminal.

There are not many people brave enough to say no to Irwin Dressler, Hollywood’s scariest mob boss turned movie king. Even though Dressler is 93 years old, LA burglar Junior Bender is quaking in his boots when Dressler’s henchmen haul him in for a meeting. Dressler wants Junior to solve a crime he believes was committed more than 70 years ago, when an old friend of his, once-famous starlet Dolores La Marr, had her career destroyed after compromising photos were taken of her at a Las Vegas party. Dressler wants justice for Dolores and the shining career she never had.

Stanley Hopkins cannot resist the invitation from a honey-voiced US attorney asking him to track down the source of photographs of a young dance major abducted five years earlier from her apartment in Clarkeston, Georgia. A journalist has stumbled across newly posted pictures of Diana Cavendish on the Internet, apparently taken just days before she disappeared with her boyfriend.

Julia Blair is hoping for a fresh start. So when she sees an apartment-for-rent sign on Brambleberry House, she can’t help but feel that it’s a good omen. Having spent summers as a teen in a cottage near the rambling Victorian home, Julia easily pictures herself and her two children starting over in the one place that’s always felt welcoming to her. When Julia walks up to inquire about the apartment, she finds her old friend Will Garrett repairing the house.

In the favelas of Porto Alegre, Brazil, marijuana is hard to come by. Supermarket stock clerks Pedro and Marques spend their days unloading trucks, restocking shelves, and dreaming of a better life, of breaking the cycle of poverty that has afflicted their families and their community. Well-acquainted with the drug dealers in their neighborhood and seeing an opportunity to earn a little extra cash, they decide to start a weed-dealing operation.