Comedy Survival

Part alien invasion story, part buddy comedy, and part workplace satire, After The Fall by Edward Ashton, author of Mickey7 (inspiration for the film Mickey 17), asks an important question: would humans really make great pets? Humans must be silent. Humans must be obedient. Humans must be good...

I have a confession. I hate bachelorette parties. A night of awkward dancing, penis-shaped straws and being told “you're next, Kaitlyn!” Even worse: It's hosted at a super swanky Miami club where I stick out like a sore thumb. Couldn’t get any worse, right?

Vampires have walked among us for thousands of years. These reanimated corpses survive by draining and consuming the blood of the living, and their threat to humanity cannot be ignored. Throughout the centuries, professors and peasants have offered their own vampire-fighting tips, but these were often old wives' tales, based more on superstition than on fact. Here, for the first time, is a comprehensive vampire-fighting guide for the 21st century.

The Era of Nighttime Has Begun... Forty years have passed since the end of the vampire/human war. Vampires have taken over the planet and have settled in, making themselves comfortable in the infrastructure their predecessors built, with just a few adjustments to ensure a permanent night. Humans still exist, tightly controlled, because the alpha species needs to eat. But even after four decades of peace, Reginald can't shake his conviction that the war never really ended — that the archive he still holds in his blood warns of an ominous change on the horizon.

Moving to New York City is the worst decision you'll ever make. Unless you're like a certain singer who arrived with millions of dollars and legions of screaming fans. You're going to live in the equivalent of a shack [shit hole], suffer through moronic roommates [personal death], be broke off your ass [literally], and all while trying to prove to the world [yourself] you can make it in the big city. You can call it a day and crawl back to wherever you hail from or you can put on your big girl panties and survive.

Star reporter for the New York Times, the world's most powerful newspaper; foreign correspondent in some of the most dangerous fields; Pulitzer winner; and longest-jailed correspondent for protecting her sources, Judith Miller is highly respected and controversial. In this memoir she turns her reporting skills on herself with the intensity of her professional vocation.

It's no one’s fault that Hallie Jacob is alone. That her grandpa got sick half a world away and so her parents yanked her to Colorado the last semester of her senior year. That career-wise, she’s specialized in fighting fire, and now she’s surrounded by ice, snow, and a thousand cousins she’s half-banned from hanging around with. But that’s what's happened. That's what her December looks like.

We all come to crossroads in our lives where a step in one direction or another can dictate the rest of our time on the planet. It can happen just once for some, or like Stephen and his son Terry, it can happen often and each time they make a choice, they have half a chance to make the right one. If it is wrong then the next choice, even though it may be fueled by alcohol or drugs, may be a little more complex, and so it goes, life unfolds, and we take what we get.

Did you know bears never die? There are many unknown facts about these fur-adorned mammals. Because the hard truths about bears can be difficult to process, society often shields itself from the realities of the true threat bears pose to mankind. Every book written on bears has been a lie. People live under the false impression that bears can be avoided, that bear attacks are survivable, and even that bears are not immortal. Suffice it to say, people have a lot to learn about bears, bear safety, bear attacks, and the impending war between man and bear.

Max Hawthorne’s raunchy, revealing memoir is certain to induce bouts of calorie-burning laughter, embarrassed grins, and re-considerations of one’s gym membership. A smutty and enjoyable exposé of life behind health club doors, Memoirs of a Gym Rat is both a scandalizing and edifying listen. Find out all about the sex, drugs, and barbell curls that are on fitness regimens in this rare look at the scandalous culture that runs rampant in health clubs.

When 10-year-old Stella wakes up to discover a world full of blank screens, her family, town and, in fact, the whole world seems to have been thrown into chaos. And what about poor Grandma who is stranded at the other end of the country? Cue a rollicking madcap road trip, full of driving disasters and family fallouts, as they set off on a rescue mission. And along the way Stella and her family discover that being away from screens might not be the worst thing ever, and even though they might not be able to rely on technology anymore, they can rely on each other instead.

A frank and hilarious guide to every man's mind-numbing nemesis: Shopping.Guys, spent one too many Saturdays marooned at the mall? This indispensable sanity-saver exposes the hidden history and insidious psychology of shopping. Hint: it's crazy. Plus, this book cool-headedly guides you through the treacherous, credit card-melting mazes.

One of the human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of hilariously macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, The Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Chris Grainger is back, hard at work trying to save his business, The Comfort Zone. After surviving the soft opening from hell, he has to strategize how to move the business forward without losing his grip. Now that his secret deception of using money from his and his lady, Angel's joint account to start the business has been revealed, he has major work to do regaining her trust, and assistance in saving his bar. Chris wants a business that will be a source of escape for the Ladies.

This is a collection of short stories written over my Christmas vacation. Go ahead, take a free look inside and see for yourself! If this book can't make you smile; nothing else will.

A tale as old as the horror genre itself. Five college students are on their way to old abandoned cabin the woods. What could possibly go wrong?

Through humor, the Jewish people were able to preserve their dignity and feel that they were still human beings, despite all the Nazi attempts to destroy in them every vestige of humanity. Jewish humor is a way of processing pain and suffering. In that magical moment in which the flash of a joke appears, hunger disappears, the soup kitchens, forced labor, typhus, the dead on the sidewalks, the black market, meal cards, deportations to the East, and the endless sufferings experienced for one reason only: to be a Jew.