Depression Memoir Postpartum

No matter how bad you feel right now, one thing's for sure: It will get better. Discover how you can accelerate the process. The recovery process is a personal journey, and no two recovery stories look the same. But there are things you can do to ease your symptoms and pave the way for a bright future with your strength restored and your emotions in check.

Early motherhood is supposed to be joyous, but for Aaisha Alvi those early days were ruined by terrifying thoughts about her baby and family. Her experience was the antithesis of everything she had ever been told about motherhood, far beyond the trials of breastfeeding or putting her baby to sleep. Aaisha did recover and began to enjoy motherhood. She was thrilled when she fell pregnant again. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, and the psychosis returned. This time, however, she was blindsided by the unimaginable: voices urged her to stab her daughter and to harm innocent people.

If I could make it to the bridge, the pain would stop. I just had to make it to the bridge, and the hopelessness would end. It became a refrain, running over and over in my head as I raced down the highway. Make it to the bridge, and the pain will end. It's hopeless. Just wanna die. Make it to the bridge.

Adrienne Martini is an award-winning freelance writer. In her candid memoir Hillbilly Gothic, she offers a glimpse at mental illness from a personal perspective, and reveals how the women of her Appalachian family invariably suffer postpartum depression. After the birth of her first child, Adrienne found herself spiraling toward a breakdown that led to her eventual institutionalization.