Fantasy Comedy Teen

“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.

From professional athletes like Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan to philosophers like Confucius, inspirational business books love to suggest that listeners can succeed in business and in life by adopting the traits of their famous subjects. In Z.E.O. by Scott Kenemore, frustrated employees will finally find inspiration in a source they can already relate to: zombies!

Yet another brilliant entry in Kenemore’s zombie canon - Cap’n Hook meets the undead. Set in the Caribbean of the eighteenth century, the epicenter of piracy, voodoo, and the dark arts, The Code of the Zombie Pirate reveals all the secrets to selecting, customizing, and managing a motley crew of pirates-cum-zombies.

For Twilight fans and beyond: the ultimate guide to love and sex, vampire-style. Women daring and lucky enough to discover romance with a vampire claim to enjoy the most intense love and sex of their lives. But how do you find a vampire of your very own? And just how do you get him interested in ravishing you within an inch of your life? Will the ecstasy of the coupling be worth the inherent risks of vampire love—the risks of drinking your blood, the risks of secrecy, and the risks of betrayal?

A self-described loser, Koyomi Araragi is struggling at a prep school that he should never have gotten into. He has all but quit caring, but as a senior, he faces the chilling scenario of not being able to graduate. It's time to cram, but the supernatural aberrations that keep on popping up in his provincial town won’t let him be. Previously, our hero turned into a vampire and back, gained an acid-tongued girlfriend, and couldn't find his way home thanks to a lost child.

Looking for a way out of the rat race? Tired of your ho-hum, workaday life? Have an inexplicable love of turning human beings into inanimate objects? Then professional supervillainy might just be for you! With tips from the renowned founder and overlord of the International Society of Supervillains, The Supervillain Handbook is your one-stop-shop for everything evil. Gain invaluable insight on the art of revenge, choosing your evil name, where to find the perfect lair, and much more!

When America won the Revolutionary War, its people offered General George Washington a crown. Two and a half centuries later, the House of Washington still sits on the throne. Like most royal families, the Washingtons have an heir and a spare. A future monarch and a backup battery. Each child knows exactly what is expected of them. But these aren't just any royals. They're American.

Meg Cabot is the New York Times best-selling author of The Princess Diaries series. Susannah Simon is a teenager who can see ghosts. As a bridge between the living and the dead, she gets called on to help ghosts take care of unfinished business. After she and her mother move from New York City to sunny California, Suze meets the sexiest boy she's ever seen, too bad he's a ghost, too.

Rosie Thorne and her father have been short on luck - and money - for years. So when she loses her grocery store job in a heated moment of smashing the patriarchy, she knows she may be forced to give up on her dream of leaving her small town for a prestigious college creative writing program. On the other hand, Vance Reigns has been Hollywood royalty for as long as Rosie’s been clipping coupons and secretly writing massively popular fanfiction. When a tabloid scandal catches up to him, he’s forced to hide out somewhere the paparazzi would never expect to find him: Small Town USA.

Enter a fantastical world of dangerous faeries, wicked princes and one half-human girl who discovers her entire life is a lie. This special edition of The Iron King includes the bonus novella “Winter’s Passage.” MY NAME IS MEGHAN CHASE. In less than twenty-four hours, I’ll be sixteen...

This manual provides a review of the tactical combat advantages enjoyed by zombies and gives the listener a step-by-step guide to adopting them for him or herself. Have you wondered where the great military leaders of modern history have found their collective inspirations? Well look no further. It is the walking dead upon whom the most important tactical infantry innovations of the last three hundred years have been based.

There's a girl at their school who is always ill. She routinely arrives late, leaves early, or doesn't show up at all, and skips gym as a matter of course. She's pretty, and the boys take to whispering that she's a cloistered princess. As the self-described worst loser in her class soon finds out, they just don't know what a monster she is.

A class president among class presidents, a bespectacled model student who soars to the top of honors lists without fail, Tsubasa Hanekawa also happens to be a decent human being. True, she does have a habit of making single-minded assumptions, but they come from a good place and turn out to be fortuitous as often as not.

When the very fabric of time and space are about to be put through the wringer, in this instance by the imminent arrival of a very large and determinedly oncoming meteorite, circumstances require a very particular type of hero. Sadly, what the situation does not need is a singularly inept wizard, still recovering from the trauma of falling off the edge of the world. Equally it does not need one well-meaning tourist and his luggage, which has a mind of its own¿which is a shame, because that's all there is.

Get four complete stories in Frank Kurns: Tales of the Underworld: You Don't Touch John's Cousin, Bitch's Night Out, Bitch's Night Out, and Challenges.

Barrett Bloom is hoping college will be a fresh start after a messy high school experience. But when school begins on September 21, everything goes wrong. She’s humiliated by the know-it-all in her physics class, she botches her interview for the college paper, and at a party that night, she accidentally sets a frat on fire. The next morning, Barrett’s perplexed to find herself back in her dorm room bed, no longer smelling of ashes and crushed dreams. It’s September 21. Again.

The long-awaited sequel to the acclaimed YA fantasy Of Fire and Stars! Mare and Denna travel to a new and dangerous kingdom where Denna will be trained to tame her magic by a mysterious queen who is not all she seems. Perfect for fans of Malinda Lo and Kristin Cashore. Princesses Denna and Mare...

Life is hard. Change is difficult. But adjusting to being a ghost? Well, that is just darn near impossible. And Bridget Sway is struggling. It's not just the job, the uniform, the housemates, the rules, the community service. It's everything. And now she's facing a week-long group assessment to evaluate her adjustment.As if that isn't bad enough, some inconsiderate soul has shoved another dead ghost in her locker. Things are looking bleak for Bridget. If she fails the assessment, she'll be "re-educated."

Oscar and his dog have made a pretty good life for themselves, despite the fact that Oscar’s family has all but vanished - his father is dead; his mother has a new boyfriend. His older sister, Rachel, fled five years ago...right after Mr. Cigar bit off her hand. Despite the freak accident, Oscar knows his dog is no menace. Mr. Cigar is a loyal protector: a supernatural creature that can exact revenge, communicate telepathically, and manipulate car doors and windows with ease.

Remember the Monster Stick? The greatest and most dangerous fishing-rod ever? What about Buck, who simply "ain't no ordinary dog"? Anyone who has seen the Lepp boys perform or read their book The Monster Stick will never forget them. In this recording, we revisit West Virginia with Bil Lepp as he tells some of the stories that made his brother, Paul, and himself repeat winners of the West Virginia State Liars Contest.