Funny Fiction Fantasy

There's trouble at the Castle, and it's all because Merrin Meredith has returned with Darke plans for Septimus. More trouble awaits Septimus and Jenna in the form of Tertius Fume, the ghost of the very first Chief Hermetic Scribe, who is determined to send Septimus on a deadly Queste. But Septimus and Jenna have other plans - they are headed for the mysterious House of Foryx.

Captain Willard Phule has whipped his troops into shape, turning Phule's Company from the laughingstock of the Legion into...a crack team of casino security guards. Now his company is deployed to help an underdeveloped planet. And what better way to utilize their major area of expertise - goofing off - than to turn the planet into the biggest intergalactic playground ever?

Nava Katz traded a lost dream for an impressively cynical attitude. The one thing she does care about? Her hard-working twin brother. Then she interrupts his induction ceremony into a secret supernatural society, accidentally torches his life-long ambition, and steals his destiny. Wait—whaaaat? She expects to be chastised, not thrown into a trial by fire, battling demons to keep humanity safe while she’s learning to master her powers and facing her worst nightmare: a purpose.

She's the woman he's been hired to kidnap. But ZeZe Vargas has other ideas...like getting them both out of this nightmare alive. Just one problem. She's crazy. Certifiably. Because while he's plotting their escape, the petite Asian beauty is plotting something much more deadly.... Max "Kill It Again" MacKilligan has no idea what one of her own is doing with all these criminal humans until she realizes that Ze has no idea who or what he is. Or exactly how much power he truly has.

A NATIONAL BESTSELLER! “WITTY, ROMANTIC, AND ADDICTIVELY FUN!” —Sarah Beth Durst, New York Times bestselling author of The Spellshop Ten years ago, they saved the realm—and it ruined their lives. Now, four former heroes must reunite, and hopefully live to tell the tale, in this charming...

Acclaimed author Sam Sykes returns with a brilliant new epic fantasy that introduces an unforgettable outcast mage caught between two warring empires. Her magic was stolen. She was left for dead. Betrayed by those she trusts most and her magic ripped from her, all Sal the Cacophony has left is...

From one of the most original voices in fantasy comes a twisted tale of murder, betrayal, and battlefield salvage. There’s no formal training for battlefield salvage. You just have to pick things up as you go along. Swords, armour, arrows – and the bodies, of course. Over the years...

When half your galaxy is unexpectedly sucked into a black hole - when a hitherto-unknown species of space aliens lays waste to your home planet - when disaster rears its ugly head (or heads) - who can you call for faster-than-light appraisals and best-in-the-multiverse customer service? Just one man - Tom Stranger, Interdimensional Insurance Agent. In this latest chapter of his interstellar exploits, Tom is about to deliver a crushing performance evaluation to Jimmy the Intern when the unimaginable happens: The beloved Wendell the Manatee has been kidnapped!

It's Christmas at St Mary's and time for the traditional illicit jump. Except this one is perfectly legal. It's Major Guthrie's last jump. To the Battle of Bannockburn, no less. An important moment in history for two nations - one that warrants everyone's full attention. But Max soon finds herself grappling with a near-lethal game of pooh sticks, another avian incursion and two turbulent teenagers intent on piloting their own illegal jump. And that's all before they even get near 14th-century Scotland. For this is St Mary's, and nothing is ever simple.

A deal struck in a dark place set an outlaw mage on the path to revenge. And now that it’s led to places even darker, she and everyone she knows may pay the price for her bargain in the final novel of “an unforgettable epic fantasy” trilogy (Publisher’s Weekly). Sal the Cacophony has...

"Full of invention and ingenuity . . . Great fun." - SFX on Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City This is the history of how the City was saved, by Notker the professional liar, written down because eventually the truth always seeps through. The City may be under siege, but everyone still has to...

"Narrator Avi Roque delivers a perfectly paced performance....seamlessly switching between English, Scottish, and American accents to distinguish the variety of characters." —AudioFile on What Moves the Dead, an Earphones Award winner) The follow-up to T. Kingfisher’s bestselling gothic...

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

Risk-averse Greg Belmont is content with being ordinary. He's got a friend - that's right, just one - at his fancy prep school, and a pretty cool dad (even if he is obsessed with organic soaps that smell like a mix of salted pork and Icelandic bog). The problem is, Greg isn't ordinary... he's actually a fantastical Dwarf! He discovers the truth the day his dad brings home a gross new tea - one that awakens bizarre abilities in Greg. Then a murderous Bro-Troll kidnaps his dad and Greg is whisked away to the Underground, where Dwarves have lived for centuries right beneath Chicago.

Keep your head down. Don't make waves. Don't let anyone know you're a freak. Larissa Alvarez is a witch. Magic was useful enough to make her pretty, but beyond transformation runes, Larissa has ignored her mom's pleas to learn about her magical heritage on the grounds that it's just too weird. But when her family is killed, and the powerful book of runes Larissa was supposed to inherit disappears, she realizes she's not going to survive without magic. Worse still, she's falling in love with her only ally, her best friend Joe, who has a secret that could kill them both.

An outcast mage caught between two warring empires must either save the world or destroy everything she loves in the second novel of "an unforgettable epic fantasy" trilogy (Publishers Weekly). Sal the Cacophony -- outlaw, outcast, outnumbered -- destroys all that she loves. Her lover lost and...

K. J. Parker's new novel is the remarkable tale of the siege of a walled city, and the even more remarkable man who had to defend it. A siege is approaching, and the city has little time to prepare. The people have no food and no weapons, and the enemy has sworn to slaughter them all. To save...

From one of the most original voices in fantasy comes a heart-warming tale of peace, love, and battlefield salvage. If you’re going to get ahead in the battlefield salvage business, you have to regard death as a means to an end. In other words, when the blood flows, so will the cash...

Almost one year ago, Alice TodHunter Moon left her PathFinder village to become Apprentice to ExtraOrdinary Wizard Septimus Heap. Now, in faraway lands, the Castle is in peril. The brilliant blue stone is crumbling to dust, and both the witch Marisa and the wicked Red Queen have their eyes on the throne. But as Tod sets off on a hazardous journey to find a new Keystone, her life may be in the greatest danger of all. Can she save the Castle while evading the fate that befell her mother?

There’s never a dull moment with silly jokes just for kids! Forget being bored. That should never be a thing! Keep the fun and laughter going whether at home, on the go, or quite honestly…wherever! This book is overflowing with rounds of children friendly jokes!