Funny Fiction Short Stories

Welcome to these paranormal worlds of randy vampires, naughty necromancers, and zombies who might eat your brains after they succeed at seducing you. This quirky collection gathers the funniest fantasy, weirdest paranormal, and most hilarious horror written by award winning author, Sarina Dorie. In all, there are 17 tales to transport you to another world and tickle your funny bone.

"My father was in the hospital and every night when I visited him, I read aloud to him. James Thurber. And one night he said, 'You really should do that on your show,' and I said, 'Dad, it’s a television newscast. I’d love to, but how could it possibly fit?' And he said, 'How often have I ever suggested anything for your shows?' And I remembered that he never had. But I also reminded him that there were things like copyrights and bills, to which he said, 'Try it. You never know.'"

Save 10 lives with a paperclip, discover how a big banana can ruin your sister's holiday, make a new friend with a garbage bin, develop a taste for sheep's spleen and chips, bounce on a vampire's bed, rescue your dad from a dog and a spider, use a toilet roll to get justice, upset the neighbours with a pickaxe, eat a pizza that makes you fearless and imagine a world where teachers earn more money than a rock star.

Have you ever wondered what a UFO abduction is like from the alien’s viewpoint? Can a machine provide comfort to a dying woman? What would it be like to fall into the hands of a get-rich-quick scheming extraterrestrial? All these questions and more are answered in this book of wonderfully crafted short stories by breakout author J.J. Harlan.

In the South, we believe in being polite, even if it kills us. So, when we just can't fight the urge to say something nasty, we follow it up with a "bless her heart" just to make us feel better. "Look at that poor woman trying to jog around that track. Her rear-end is dragging a trail, bless her heart." Youngblood and Poole talk about the ins and outs of nosy neighbors, sibling rivalry, and why every Southerner worth her salt feels the need to offer advice.

A train gets waylaid in the middle of nowhere, and Luke and his dad find themselves with four hours to kill before it’s fixed. Just enough time for a trip to the mysterious, decrepit old museum on the edge of town. A short story from Guys Read: Other Worlds, edited by Jon Scieszka.

Nathan has been locked in his room ever since "it" started growing back. They’re going to come for him soon, so he’s got precious little time to tell us what is happening.

T-Bin has been traveling through space for years to deposit its passengers on a new planet, to give them a new life. But now, mere days from arrival, Tanner can’t shake the feeling that there’s a more sinister plot at work.

An artist takes us through his day, from his own particular perspective. A short story from Guys Read: Other Worlds, edited by Jon Scieszka.

The stories are short enough to keep kids focused on the story and to not seem overwhelming. Each story is followed by four optional multiple choice questions designed to assess basic reading comprehension and reasoning skills. After a moment, the correct answer is given: Please press the pause button if you wish to think about the question before hearing the answer.

This collection of the best crime and mystery short fiction of 1999, gathered from around the globe and including more award-winners and stories than any other comparable volume, fills the void for those with a hunger for the best international mystery and suspense stories.

Are you ready to get swept away into a world of fantastic adventure and new discoveries? The Funny Things I Heard at the Bus Stop series of short stories for kids is the perfect book for bedtime reading, a quick after-school adventure, or any time that you want to get taken to a magical, funtabulous, amazing world of imagination that is perfect for kids aged three to one hundred and three!

The third audiobook in the delightful series set in Carrington’s Department Store. Georgie Hart and Carrington’s Department Store have got the world at their feet. Since a reality TV series put them both on the map, life has been amazing! Carrington’s profits are in the pink, Georgie has carved herself a place in the nation’s heart and her romance with Tom, the store’s boss, has finally blossomed. Now summertime has come to Mulberry-on-Sea, and Georgie is in great demand.

Welcome to Other Worlds, the fourth volume in the Guys Read Library. Prepare yourself for 10 trips into the unknown, as 10 of your favorite writers spin tales of fantasy and science fiction the likes of which you have never imagined. Compiled by National Ambassador for Children's Literature (and Secret Ambassador for the Intergalactic Alliance) Jon Scieszka, Guys Read: Other Worlds is the most exciting collection of stories on this - or any other - planet.

Eleven masters of suspense - Kelly Barnhill, Michael Buckley, Adam Gidwitz, Adele Griffin and Lisa Brown, Claire Legrand, Nikki Loftin, Daniel José Older, Dav Pilkey, R. L. Stine, and Rita Williams-Garcia - have come together to bring you a bone-chilling collection of original ghost stories, perfect for sharing around the campfire, listening under the covers with a flashlight, and scaring your friends' pants off.

You'll find stories here about comic book characters that come to life, a fantastical submarine who's entrance is hidden near a baseball field, a magical world that exists inside a young boy's room, a talking pimple, a mysterious guitar man that helps two young boys, and a wonderful story about a young girl's tree house and the animals that come to crash her tea party!

The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices!

The Unidentified Funny Objects series serves an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! Our sixth volume features a Mad Amos story by Alan Dean Foster, a Harry the Book tale by Mike Resnick, and an Alexander Outland short by Gini Koch.

Are you ready to get swept away into a world of fantastic adventure and new discoveries? The Funny Things I Heard at the Bus Stop series of short stories for kids is the perfect book for bedtime listening, a quick after-school adventure, or any time that you want to get taken to a magical, funtabulous, amazing world of imagination that is perfect for kids aged three to one hundred and three.

Classic Cat Stories is an anthology that includes fairy tales and fables from the likes of Rudyard Kipling and Charles Perrault as well as comic tales from Saki and E. F. Benson. Cats, of course, have always had a dark and mysterious side, which is explored to chilling effect by the likes of Edgar Allan Poe in 'The Black Cat'. But above all, we love them, and you’ll find here stories about all kinds of cats that tug at the heartstrings like 'The Man of the House' by Ethel Colburn Mayne and other stories that celebrate their curious ways.