Funny Science Fiction Fantasy

My name is Barry, although it might as well be Loser. Satan owns my soul, and my demon boss, Margery, tortures me with her magical cigarettes every chance she gets. While I’m desperate for freedom, I’ll do anything to stop her from opening the Gates of Hell…or any other crazy thing she has planned. My odds of saving mankind are uncertain, but I have to try.

Bingo Grabbins is a soddit who enjoys a comfortable life (apart from his feet, of course). But his contentment is disturbed when the wizard, Gandef, and a company of bizarrely Welsh dwarves drag him away on an adventure. They have a plot to raid the treasure hoard (or so they say) guarded by Smug, a large and very tedious dragon. Bingo is reluctant to take part in this insane venture, but a dwarven dagger held to his throat soon surprises even himself and off the companions go on a quest that seems truly epic.

Monty Python meets Gladiator! Sand is destined for greatness...or so a pair of two-bit criminals would have him believe. After rescuing him from certain doom, Bess and Kaede embark on a scheme to game the War God Tournament. It’d be easier if Sand wasn’t an alcohol-soaked twit with a disturbing interest in mutton. Pitted against monsters, magic swords, and murderers galore, they soon realize winning the tourney is the least of their worries.

When a furry, four-legged beast from the distant past appears in their park, the local animals are concerned about unwanted attention from humans. Gilly the Possum, assistant to raccoon Mayor Crawdaddy, is tasked with figuring out where the lost galumpus came from . . . and how to get him home again. While Gilly and the Mayor don’t agree on much, they can agree on one thing: with a huge blizzard rolling in, the galumpus needs their help, no matter where he came from.

Stargazey World follows the story of Sheena Robinson, a feisty, complex youngster who often feels guilty about her lack of concentration. At school her work doesn't improve and her chaotic mop of tangled green hair is mocked, but this feisty Scouser has the ready wit and true grit to deal with her bullies. When Sheena visits Cornwall for her cousin's wedding, she must share a bedroom with the tomboyish Carys. By day everything is normal, but by night the animals on the bedroom wallpaper come to life.

Ferrett Steinmetz’s high-octane cyberpunk romance Automatic Reload about a tortured mercenary and the genetically enginnered assassin he loves. Meet Mat, a tortured mercenary who has become the perfect shot, and Silvia, and idealistic woman geneticall engineered to murder you to death...

In Magikos, life is dictated by the Book of Fate's ancient predictions, including the birth of a royal Chosen One who will save the realm. Princess Marabel has grown up in the shadow of her twin brother, Marco, who everyone assumes is the true Chosen One. While Marco is adored and given every opportunity, Marabel is overlooked and has to practice her sword fighting in secret. But on the night of their 13th birthday, Marco is kidnapped by an evil queen, and Marabel runs to his rescue. Outside the castle walls for the first time, Marabel embarks on a daring mission.

Shapeshifter August Shade saved the world. At least, that’s what some folks are saying. According to the rumors, the personal effects repo man bested a vampire, a warlock, and a troll without even breaking a sweat. While his growing celebrity has been good for business, it’s also meant taking jobs farther from home. Now, the cranky shapeshifter is in farm country–definitely not his natural habitat–and mixed up with two feuding hag sisters, a loan sharking coblyn, and a mysterious woman with a very scary ex.

The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices!

After an altercation with a clown, I get lost in the woods and find a strange town. When the librarian of the town dies in front of me, I try on his ring. It fits. I’m declared the new librarian by the mayor and townspeople. I get to live in a houseful of books. But I soon learn the job involves more than just tomes and information. In this second novel in the series, a library book goes missing. Not just any book but the true story of what happened in Eden, among other true stories certain humans and angels don't want told. I have to find this book.

Tutto d`un tratto, Heng Lee comincia a sentirsi molto strano, così decide di far visita allo Sciamano locale, niente meno che sua zia. Dopo alcuni test conclude che Heng non ha più sangue nel corpo. Come lo dirà alla sua famiglia? E cosa decideranno di fare? Heng Lee è un capraio delle remote montagne a nord-est di Chiang Rai, nel nord della Thailandia, vicino al confine con il Laos.

In book 4 there’s the librarian, of course, all the main characters from books 1-3, including the town of Eden which is certainly a main character, and a witch. It begins with her asking the librarian to find her Familiar, a cat. It ends with, well, I can’t tell you that. Expect suspense and unexpected twists and turns, odd characters, and the same kind of humor that is in the other novels because I’m pretty much unable to have any other kind. Hope you enjoy it.

Kevin Austin has no plans of staying in the strange mountain town of Eden when he ends up becoming the new librarian after the previous one is murdered. He soon realizes this is no ordinary library. The books actually talk and fly around the rooms, and there's a ghost haunting the premises. Not to mention a collection of dangerous magical artifacts in the basement. In the town of Eden, Kevin encounters witches, zombies, demons, talking crows, angels, even gods and goddesses. Everyone in town seems to have secrets, including the alluring Olive, who Kevin falls for in book 1.

It's the 25th century, and the American President has taken over the world. Meanwhile, after a cleaner unplugged his cryogenic freezing machine by accident, Detective Inspector Capstan wakes up to find that he's been in a state of suspended animation for more than 400 years. As he's forced to adjust to life in the future, he finds himself reinstated as a policeman, and together with the great-great-great-great-grandson of his former subordinate, Sergeant Dewbush, he's put on the case of a missing cow.

This truly dark mystery story sees our protagonist Dragonman and undeniable friends and partners investigate a bizarre murder spree. The murders turn out to be far from ordinary when an investigation into the past brings untimely dread and danger for the future. This scary audiobook leads you on a trail of homicide that is more than meets the eye. John Logan has to look deep into Luke Starr’s past to find the answers he seeks. Nobody is laughing, because it turns out dying isn’t funny.

Two pet sitters. One talking cat. What could possibly go wrong? Cassie and Lina think Bella the bearded dragon is so beautiful. Gus is not so sure, and he’s determined to prove it.... But no one’s expecting Bella to have some seriously sparkly allergies. Now, everyone’s got the glitter jitters, especially Gus!

Book 6: the librarian of the supernatural town of Eden faces his greatest challenge yet when a powerful being abducts residents in what turns out to be an act of revenge. With the help of his hellhound companion, Fluffy, and his allies (the ghostbusters, the witch Olive, and the werewolf) Rip Van Winkle, Kevin must confront the monster and prevent it from exacting its revenge on Eden. Meanwhile, Kevin grapples with his own destiny as the anti-Christ and the looming threat of Armageddon.

Nathan has been locked in his room ever since "it" started growing back. They’re going to come for him soon, so he’s got precious little time to tell us what is happening.

Ethan seems like a normal ten-year-old, but he has a secret. It’s not that he’s the one who accidentally filled the sunblock container with glue last summer or that he cracked the screen on his sister’s phone and blamed it on their baby brother. (Those things may have happened, but they’ve got nothing on this.) No, Ethan’s secret is that he knows time travel is real—because his future self keeps coming back to visit him. Lucky Ethan, right?

Orphaned Leonora lives on a remote island, spending her days making crazy cool inventions. When a strange boy called Jack washes up on an inflatable lobster and reveals that evil Uncle Luther has been stealing her inventions and selling them on the mainland, it begins a laugh-out-loud adventure - complete with a furry otter, a singing sea captain and a very secret society....