Humor Crime

It seemed straightforward enough. Sean had now consumed so much alcohol that everything seemed perfectly reasonable. He'd started planning the job already. The first problem was how to do it. Thirteen thousand pounds in an envelope seems a fair price for a man's life. Particularly if you don't know the man, he seems a nonentity and you quite fancy his wife. And there's no chance of being caught.

Throbbing Morton is a village in the English Cotswolds. Though there has been human habitation on the site for well over a thousand years, there is no record of it in the Domesday Book, and you will find it on no map today. Perhaps it is the boggy fields or the high hedges that have kept it out of public view. It might also have been the great fungal toenail epidemic of 1438 that kept the rest of the world at bay; no one knows for sure. The outcome of all this is that it has bred colorful characters of great distinction.

Meet Katie Milk - she's brave, funny, has an active imagination and is about to go off to boarding school for the first time. At first she can't imagine having a worse roommate than Bernadette Kelly but soon Katie has more important things to worry about . . . Are there really mad nuns in the attic and why does Chiquita Morris cry all the time? Is Chiquita's mother really a famous fashion model, as she claims or is she just trying to get attention?

Wenn es Frühling wird in Glaubenthal, kommt der schöne Peter ins Dorf. Der Bäcker - von allen geliebt in der Region. Eine seiner größten Fans war Tante Herta. Doch die steht nicht wie sonst als erste am Wagen, sondern liegt mausetot im Vorgarten. In ihrem Alter nichts per se Unwahrscheinliches. Aber sie ist splitterfasernackt! Da muss sich die alte Huber mal wieder die Ärmel hochkrempeln und losermitteln. Auch wenn das zeitlich gar nicht passt, schließlich steht ihr Geburtstag vor der Tür, zu dem sich gegen ihren ausdrücklichen Wunsch Gäste angemeldet haben.

Working with the cops has always been a challenge for Charity Deacon. Too many rules get in the way of catching the bad guys. Now she’s been hired by the RCMP to help get an out-of-control mob boss off the streets.

Two years after he blew up the Channel Tunnel to foil the Franco-German invasion, Harry Lampeter returns to England, hoping for employment with MI6. The political climate in Europe has changed. The Roman Catholic Church, led by mad Pope Benedict XVII, is attempting to fill the power vacuum in Europe by reviving the Holy Roman Empire, with himself as Emperor. The CIA has other ideas, as do the leaders of the European nations.

Spannung und eine Prise Humor an der Küste Nordfrieslands. Sie haben es bis ins Finale geschafft: Zehn Frauen um die vierzig hoffen auf den begehrten Titel der Sylter Libelle. Gewinnen soll die Bewerberin mit dem imposantesten Leben. Wenige Tage vor der Wahl der Schock: Simone Eriksen, die heimliche Favoritin, liegt tot auf einer Salzwiese bei Keitum. Dem ersten Eindruck nach erlag sie einem Angriff von Galloway-Rindern. Doch der Leichenbeschauer stellt fest: Sie starb durch menschliche Gewalt. In der Gruppe der Bewerberinnen galt Simone als Außenseiterin.

"Stell dir vor, deine größte Lüge wird plötzlich wahr … Was würdest du tun?! Berenice ist Tierkommunikatorin und kann mit schwierigen Pferden telepathisch Kontakt aufnehmen – behauptet sie zumindest. In Wirklichkeit schummelt sie sich durchs Leben und zieht den Leuten mit ihren Lügengeschichten das Geld aus der Tasche. Bis sich eines Tages tatsächlich ein sprechendes Pony bei ihr meldet: Berenice soll helfen, einen verschwundenen Pferdekumpel aufzuspüren. Ehe sie sich versieht, ist sie einem handfesten Skandal auf der Spur, stolpert von einer peinlichen Situation in die nächste.

Eine hinreißend verrückte Kriminalkomödie. Papas gibt es in allen Formen und Größen – es gibt dicke und dünne, große und kleine, dumme und schlaue, laute und leise Papas. Aber keiner ist so wie Franks Papa Gilbert. Denn der ist ein berühmter Rennfahrer, der König der Straße, der Champion der Rennstrecke, von allen nur Gilbert der Große genannt! Doch nach einem schlimmen Unfall ist alles anders: Papa darf keine Rennen mehr fahren, und auf einmal sind Frank und Gilbert arm.

Meet Sam Applewhite, a security consultant with no staff, no resources, and some big jobs to tackle. When an armed robber targets a local bank, things quickly go wrong and hostages are taken. Sam’s stage magician dad is in the firing line and no magic tricks are going to get him out of this situation. The police say they’ve got things under control, but Sam knows there’s something strange going on. Why has a law-abiding man suddenly turned to crime? How can it be an armed robbery if the robber has left his gun at home? Sam has to put the pieces together before it’s too late.

Ellis Coldwater is a pretty easy-going bank robber. Wendy Larkin is a pretty woman—a little shy, a little nervous, and a little married. What happens when these two get together “on the job”? Whose recipe for living life will lead to the most happiness, the most laughter, and the least amount of jail time? Our tale jumps in immediately as this novel adroitly rolls up its sleeve to expose the funny bone of crime, love, right, wrong, the pursuit of money, happiness, the vagaries of humanity that gives life meaning.

Bumping Off Fat Vinny is a lighthearted look at the attempts of authors Margaret Stanton, Danny Garrett, and Maria Mancuso make to do away with a scoundrel who seemingly has more lives than a cat. It confirms the old adage that the best laid plans of mice and men sometimes do, in fact, go astray.

Henry, a New Yorker left destitute by circumstance and obsession, is plucked from vagrancy by a shadowy outfit whose primary business is arranging for staged murders of anxiety-ridden clients unhinged by the “events downtown” and seeking to experience - and live through - their own carefully executed assassinations. When Henry joins this nefarious crew, which includes a beautiful blonde tattooist named Tulip, contortionist twins, and a woman referred to only as “the knockout”, he becomes inextricably linked to its ringleader, the mysterious herring connoisseur Mr. Kindt.

Aldo is determined to become a better person. His best pals Dougie and Craig and the four-legged love of his life, Bruce the Staffy, do their best to keep him on the path to redemption, but his lawless nature and chaotic home life propel him into a series of comical, exhilarating, occasionally brutal adventures.

Meet Martin, a broke British drama teacher trying to make ends meet in a picturesque Irish town. Saddled with a subprime mortgage containing terms & conditions that even loan sharks would disapprove of, he seeks a deadly escape route. A healthy payout would be some consolation should anything happen to his dear wife, like being bitten by the viper housed in his terrarium (It’s like a corner of Arizona but in the good room). Enter Laura, a beautiful staff nurse and medieval weaponry expert who has ruthless plans of her own. None of them involve being murdered.

When builder Mark Poynter discovers a murder on his worksite all of his financial problems suddenly seem a lot closer to home: was this a warning his debts are overdue? Suspected of being the killer and worried at being the intended victim, the murder only makes Mark's money problems worse, leading him to turn to the local villain, Hamlet, who has his own unique repayment plan in mind for Mark. When two more deaths plunge him even further into debt, Mark finds himself faced with a choice - help the police and clear his name or help the villain and clear his debt.

A darkly comic noir about a chicken living in a world of anthropomorphic eggs who's wanted for a murder he didn't commit. Life is tough for an embry. Considered a vestigial organ at best and a parasite at worst, chicken embryos are usually aborted by the egg folk early in life. Once in a while, one survives and slips through, hatching into an embry, an ostracized, lower caste anthropomorphic chicken. They have their own ghettos, and are barely tolerated by polite society.

Artist Jake Priestley has made quite a name for himself at a young age. Claiming the coveted Soul Flame Grand Prize of seven million euros had been more of a stroke of dumb luck than intentional tenacity. But that was nothing compared to the immense art event being held in Paris. As Jake and his team, The Chemical Collective, gear up for the big day ahead of them, there is nothing that will stop him from taking home the Grand Prize.

The landscape of contemporary Paris, replete with the best restaurants, the trendiest bars and clubs, is usually filled with the wealthy, the famous, and le rake or le rou, the charming, educated sophisticate with little or no conscience. Into this cushy world bursts Dr. Crandall Taylor - or rather the actor who plays him, the star of a dated American soap opera that is now one of the hottest prime-time shows in France. And this newfound fame, as enriching as it is unexpected, is not wasted on Crandall, eager to put his dark and often violent American past behind him and enjoy all the fruits and the women that Paris and fame have to offer him.

Martin John’s mam says that she is glad he is done with it. But is Martin John done with it? He says he wants it to stop, his mother wants it to stop, we all want it to stop. But is it really what Martin John wants? He had it in his mind to do it and he did it. Harm was done when he did it...