Humor Short

A crotchety nightwatchman in a whaling museum contemplates Neptune the stuffed sea lion, originally owned by P.T. Barnum. In his admiration for the kingly animal, he studies ventriloquism to give Neptune a voice. When a field trip comes through the museum, he has an unexpectedly meaningful exchange with a precocious, like-minded child...and Neptune.

Eighteen of the very best American short stories, each a classic in its own right. Stories include "The Little Frenchman and his Water Lots", by George Pope Morris; "The Angel of the Odd", by Edgar Allan Poe; "The Schoolmasters’s Progress", by Caroline M.S. Kirkland; "The Watkinson Evening", by Eliza Leslie; "Titbottom’s Spectacles", by George William Curtis; "My Double and "How He Undid Me", by Edward Everett Hale; "A Visit to the Asylum for Aged and Decayed Punsters", by Oliver Wendell; and more.

Set in the author’s native Belfast, the ten stories in Sweet Home lay bare the heartbreak and quiet tragedies that run under the surface of everyday lives. A lonely woman is fascinated by her niqab-wearing neighbours; a middle-aged teacher becomes obsessed with a young Gaelic football player; and an employer covers for his two employees caught having sex in a public toilet.

Available to listeners for the first time, Sucker’s Portfolio showcases a collection of seven never-before-published works from Kurt Vonnegut, one of the greatest writers of the 20th century. Short, sardonic, and dark, these six brief fiction stories and one non-fiction piece are consummate Vonnegut with piercing satire and an eye for life’s obscene inanity. Also available for the first time is an unfinished science-fiction short story, included in the appendix.

In vignettes both comic and sexy, the owner of a coffee shop recalls the day his first wife seemed to achieve a moment of simple perfection, while she remembers the women's softball game during which she was stricken by the beauty of the shortstop. A young couple spends hours at the coffee shop fueling the idea of their fierce love. A professor of philosophy, stopping by for a cup of coffee, makes a valiant attempt to explain what he knows to be the inexplicable workings of the human heart.

Marcovaldo is an unskilled worker in a drab industrial city in northern Italy. He is an irrepressible dreamer and an inveterate schemer. Much to the puzzlement of his wife, his children, his boss, and his neighbors, he chases his dreams - but the results are never the expected ones.

From a comic mastermind comes this brilliant collection of stories. Three teenagers believe they are witches. A woman defaces a local billboard. A bored landlord tries to influence his son's best friend. A cul-de-sac WhatsApp group discusses eggs at length. A heavily pregnant woman finds a way to time travel and a girl discovers joy on a stolen bicycle. Each tale paints a life in miniature and offers an escape chute from the catastrophes of modern life.

Simon Rich is "one of the funniest writers in America" (The Daily Beast) - a humorist who draws comparisons to Douglas Adams (The New York Times Book Review) and James Thurber and P.G. Wodehouse (The Guardian). With Hits and Misses, he's back with a hilarious new collection of stories about dreaming big and falling flat, about ordinary people desperate for stardom and the stars who are bored by having it all.

For all those craving more adventures of their favorite bookseller-by-day and burglar-by-night, The Burglar in Short Order for the first time ever collects all of Bernie Rhodenbarr's short-form appearances in one complete volume. From the story in which a prototype of Bernie first appeared (“A Bad Night for Burglars”) to his appearances in Playboy and (maybe? It's kinda complicated) Cosmopolitan...from an essay discussing Bernie's misadventures in Hollywood to a piece commissioned by a European publisher for a tourist guide to New York....

Eve has her own story, and she's been waiting millennia for Barbara McBride-Smith to tell it. It's the same for Mrs. Noah. Talk about misunderstood or under-appreciated women! McBride-Smith singles them out for her trademark feminist humor. And following Eve and Mrs. Noah's stories are four of McBride-Smith's retellings of Greek myths from her West Texas good-ole-girl perspective.

Eleven adventures of PG Wodehouse's longest-serving 'hero', Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge: great brain, potential millionaire—and foe of the human race. First, ten scenes of his bachelor days, as (among other things) dog trainer, mastermind of an 'accident' syndicate, boxing promoter, and political campaigner. And then, as a newly married man, embarking upon a foolproof enterprise as a chicken farmer, on a borrowed farm, with 'borrowed' hens, and an entire lack of knowledge.

The characters in this extraordinary book are often - on the surface - depraved, vicious, cowardly and manipulative, but their essential humanity is never undermined. Two professors of philosophy turn pugilists; Leith removal men become the objects of desire for Hollywood goddesses; God turns Boab Coyle into a house-fly; and in the novella, 'A Smart Cunt', the drug-addled young hero spins off on a collision course with his past.

Hipster aliens! Existentially aware smart toilets! Instant genital swapping! The future will be all of these things and so much more in Conan/Daily Show writer Rob Kutner's collection of "quick hits" on what could be but probably shouldn't.

J. Harris Anderson's popular character Thumper Billington is at a crossroads in his life. A brief and impetuous marriage has ended, a new person has captured his interest. Has she captured his heart too? How can he assure this new relationship will be the one he's always hoped for? An avid foxhunter, he comes to a compelling realization: Life is about The Chase. Through a series of stories and lessons, told with wry humor and sprinkled with a wealth of practical tips, Thumper brings the listener along on his journey of discovery. It's Dave Barry meets Rita Mae Brown meets Dr. Phil!

In the collection's marvelous title story, two aging vampires in a sun-drenched Italian lemon grove find their hundred-year marriage tested when one of them develops a fear of flying. In "The Seagull Army Descends on Strong Beach, 1979", a dejected teenager discovers that the universe is communicating with him through talismanic objects left in a seagull's nest. "Proving Up" and "The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis" find Russell veering into more sinister territory.

Bob Odenkirk is a legend in the comedy-writing world, winning Emmys and acclaim for his work on Saturday Night Live, Mr. Show with Bob and David, and many other seminal television shows. This book, his first, is a spleen-bruisingly funny omnibus that ranges from absurdist monologues ("Martin Luther King Jr.'s Worst Speech Ever") to intentionally bad theater ("Hitler Dinner Party: A Play"), from avant-garde fiction ("Obit for the Creator of Mad Libs").

Nonsense Novels was first published in 1920 yet a century later remains a huge favorite among Stephen Leacock fans. The British-born Canadian writer was renowned for his humor, and Nonsense Novels epitomizes both this skill and his mastery of the ridiculous. From an ill-fated Middle Ages romance to the dubious skills of a pitiful private eye and the happy outcome of a generations-old Scottish feud, Nonsense Novels is a tremendous listen.

In steel-tipped prose, Craig Davidson conjures up a bleak world populated by hardscrabble pugilists, fighting dogs, sex addicts, and others held captive by their own bad luck and bad decisions. Visceral and with a dark urgency, Rust and Bone is a strikingly original debut.

Mark Twain's "Extracts from Adam's Diary" first appeared in 1893. He based Adam and Eve on himself and his beloved wife Olivia ("Livy") to create a humorous counterpoint the traditional Garden of Eden story, this time centered on what life may have been like for the first man. In this story, we hear Adam trying to work out what the "new creature with long hair" is all about. She names things, much to Adam's annoyance. She follows him around. Then suddenly, there's another creature, which eventually Adam decides is his son Cain. It's all about confusion and curiosity, and finally, love for Eve.

What do you get when you combine a chicken named Elvis, a locked diary, and a secret Violet Parker does not want share with her daughter? Seeing Trouble is the first of many short stories involving the characters of the Deadwood Mystery series.