Humorous Adventure

This wasn't like Adam Cain—AKA: The Human for Hire. He wasn't supposed to be compassionate and caring. But for some reason, he'd taken the former Third-Generation Human John Martinez under his wing and was now determined to show him what the real Human race was all about. As a 3G, Martinez had been raised by the Klin to believe a completely false narrative about his native race. But having never been to Earth—and after only a few tragic encounters with other Humans—what was Martinez to believe?

Beautiful and brilliant sorcerer girls just can't have nice things, huh? All I wanted to do was swipe a little bit of bandit treasure. Now suddenly I'm being chased around by icky trolls, nasty demons, mean mummies, and brooding golem bad boys. And for what? A tiny little artifact that can bring about the end of the world? Hah! I'll show them there's a reason you don't cross Lina Inverse...

The brilliant follow-up to David Walliams' best seller The World's Worst Children! Ten more stories about a brand-new gang of hilariously horrible kids from everyone's favourite children's author. If you thought you had heard about the world's worst children already, you're in for a rather nasty shock. The beastly boys and gruesome girls in this book are even ruder, even more disgusting and WORSE than you could ever imagine!

Cultivation is all fun and games. Until someone kills Merlin. Apparently, the only logical response to this fairly important change to Arthurian lore is for me to be reincarnated into Dark Age Cornwall. But don't worry, I have an absolute understanding of feudal power dynamics, Qi cycling, and anti-Saxon spell flinging. Oh, I also lie a lot. There's just the smallest chance that our timeline is doomed.

It's all fun and games until somebody ends up in the pound. It's been a busy few days for the Head of Ranch Security, what with routine patrols and not-so-routine combat with headless monsters. When the dust settles, Hank decides to take a break from duty and visit his sister in town.

Beasts in the basement. A gangster in a rabbit suit. And rats in the modem. Great-great-grandma in the freezer. A talking spider in the attic. And a crocodile in the moat. Titus in his bedroom. Baby Damp in her nappy. And Pandora in a strop. Add a stressed-out witch for a mum, a kidnapped dad, and a nanny who puts Mary Poppins to shame and you'll conjure up family life at StregaSchloss. It's bizarre!

Glitches are appearing across the Minecraft server. Blocks are flickering unexpectedly and randomly disappearing. To make matters worse, villagers are claiming that their entire villages have mysteriously vanished, and they desperately need Gameknight999's help. What's causing the server to overload and glitch, and where have all the NPCs gone? The User-that-is-not-a-user suspects the two questions are related, and that somehow Herobrine's henchmen are responsible.

Murf is a professional gambler, a confessed liar and thief. He's a coward who's known to be overly friendly to other men's wives and daughters, and he's fled more than one town just a step ahead of people who want his head on a pole--or something much more painful. Cards are his life and livelihood, but he's never taken one of the Unity's magic cards into his soul to become a Holder because honestly, it seems like a horrible way to live to him.

Gladys Gatsby has been cooking gourmet dishes since the age of seven, only her fast-food-loving parents have no idea! Now she's 11, and after a crème brûlée accident (just a small fire), Gladys is cut off from the kitchen (and her allowance). She's devastated, but soon finds just the right opportunity to pay her parents back when she's mistakenly contacted to write a restaurant review for one of the largest newspapers in the world.

The head of ranch security and his first lieutenant, Drover, are finishing up an exhausting morning of patrols when a mysterious caravan of trucks rumbles past headquarters. Going in for a closer look, Hank the Cowdog apprehends a large red box bearing a mysterious label: "WARNING! MONKEY! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOX!"

Stone McGracen died trying to be a hero, earning him a second chance in a game-like world. Reincarnated, Stone wakes deep in a dungeon armed with a knife, unlimited respawns, and a lot of dungeon monsters between him and freedom. If Stone wants to make it out to the world above, things are going to get... unorthodox. Follow Stone as he claws his way to the top with pure grit, spit, and blood in Sol Anchor Book 1!

Jack Jenkins is dying for some action. After surviving the attack of the Iron Count, he and his superteam, the Knuckleheads, are basking in their success. Things at the University are quiet once again. Maybe too quiet.

Business is slow for M.Y.T.H., Inc., and its president, Bunny, is getting nervous that the company might not meet its quarterly goal. So when a job comes in that's worth an absurd amount of gold - and also happens to take them to Winslow, the most luxurious vacation resort in any dimension - the team jumps at the opportunity to recoup some cash and maybe catch some R&R.

When Hank is attacked by a Headless Cowboy, he knows it's going to be a tough day defending the ranch! But when Slim discovers Sally May's watermelon patch has been raided by raccoons, things get serious. Slim, Drover, and Hank are entrusted with the job of a nighttime stakeout to catch the raccoons in the act. Will Hank save the day? Or will busted watermelons prove Hank is a bust as the Head of Ranch Security?

This second audiobook in Sarah Mlynowski's charming new series puts a fresh spin on the Cinderella story! Once upon a time my brother and I found a magic mirror. Tonight the mirror swept us into Cinderella's fairy tale. Now, we are not messing this story up. No way. Cinderella is going to marry her prince just like she's supposed to. Uh-oh. Cinderella broke her foot and there's massive swelling. The glass slipper won't fit, the prince won't know she's the one for him, and they won't live happily ever after. And it's all our fault!

When Sally May and Loper head out of town for a wedding, Hank the Cowdog, Head of Ranch Security, knows it's up to him to keep things under control. After subjecting strawberry ice cream to rigorous product testing, test-driving a mysterious spaceship, and thwarting a sneak attack from a couch monster, Hank faces the fight of his life.

The new swimming instructor at Camp Lone Wolf, Nessie McFarland, is anything but normal. And when she's in her scuba gear, Nessie's skinny black body, long neck, and little head remind the kids of the great legend of Lock Ness. But Nessie can't really be a monster, could she?

When an airship crashes under mysterious circumstances, the Magebreakers find themselves embroiled in an investigation that takes them across the Audish Channel to foreign shores. In Belgrier, many blame Audish sabotage for the accident, and for the death of the influential nobleman on board—a dear friend of the Belgrian Kaiser. And if Tane and Kadka can't prove otherwise, it could become a diplomatic catastrophe. But the suspicion of a government that views all Audlanders as dangerous pro-magical radicals isn't the Magebreakers' greatest concern.

Meet Percy Stinkson. He's just a normal kid, trying to have fun and make it through school doing as little homework as possible....until he finds out he's the son of a Greek god! And Percy's father isn't just any Greek god. He's Pooseidon, God of Farts! Percy's life is totally transformed as he travels to Camp Half-Wit, where he's trained to use his special farting powers. He's going to need these powers, because he soon learns it's up to him to save the universe by going on a quest to find Zeus's stolen iPhone! It'll be a dangerous quest, but Percy will have company: Grover, a weird kid who thinks he's a half-goat, and Annabeth, a super-hot girl who unfortunately doesn't want to date Percy. Yet. There'll be loads of action and tons of smelly farts as Percy's quest proceeds to its exciting conclusion: a showdown in the Underworld with Hades himself! The odds might be against Percy, but don't give up hope, because he'll have the ultimate weapon at his disposal: The Lightning Fart! Can a fart really save the universe?

The Krakau came to Earth to invite humanity into a growing alliance of sentient species. However, they happened to arrive after a mutated plague wiped out half the planet, turned the rest into shambling, near-unstoppable animals, and basically destroyed human civilization. You know - your standard apocalypse. The Krakau's first impulse was to turn around and go home. Their second impulse was to try to fix us. Now, a century later, human beings might not be what they once were, but at least they're no longer trying to eat everyone. Mostly.