Teen Humor

Esme Pearl's life used to be all about bumming rides and babysitting. Sure, it wasn't glamorous, but it was predictable. All that changed when Cassandra Heaven came to town, and they discovered their complicated, and connected, legacy: Esme and Cassandra are Sitters, supernaturally gifted teens armed with an ever-changing grimoire of Sitter witchcraft to help them protect the innocent and keep evil demons at bay. You know, the typical teenage stuff.

There are many ways the world could end. A fire. A catastrophic flood. A super eruption that spews lakes of lava. Ellis Kimball has made note of all possible scenarios, and she is prepared for each one. What she doesn’t expect is meeting Hannah Marks in her therapist’s waiting room. Hannah calls their meeting fate. After all, Ellis is scared about the end of the world; Hannah knows when it’s going to happen.

Fifteen-year-old Jackie Stone's father is dying. When Jackie discovers that her father has been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor, her whole world starts to crumble. She can't imagine how she'll live without him. Then, in a desperate act to secure his family's future, Jackie's father does the unthinkable - he puts his life up for auction on eBay. Jackie can do nothing but watch and wait as an odd assortment of bidders, some with nefarious intentions, drive the price up higher.

Mike loves Philomel. Always. Philomel loves Mike. Sometimes. After doing something stupid that drives away the love of his life, Mike begins to notice that the world itself seems to be suffering the aftereffects of his bad decision. Reality as he knows it has … changed. And before he can fully understand the ramifications, he’s on an odyssey unlike any other, trying to figure out how to repair the universe and return his lost Philomel to his side. It’s not time travel. It’s not dimension-hopping. It’s something deeper. And to Mike’s surprise, this isn’t the whole story.

Listeners get a chance to participate in James Patterson's wildly successful Middle School series in this interactive book featuring more than 80 hilarious anecdotes from dueling siblings Rafe and Georgia Khatchadorian - plus dozens of fun-filled activities!

When Ethan gets Alek to cut school and go to a Rufus Wainwright concert in New York City’s Central Park, Alek embarks on his first adventure outside the confines of his suburban New Jersey existence. He can’t believe a guy this cool wants to be his friend. And before long, it seems like Ethan wants to be more than friends. Alek has never thought about having a boyfriend - he's barely ever had a girlfriend - but maybe it’s time to think again.

Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...

Top ten things Samantha Madison isn't ready for:Spending Thanksgiving at Camp David; with her boyfriend, the president's son; who appears to want to take their relationship to the Next Level...

I just returned from the mall after school shopping with my soon-to-be sophomore and her friend. I now understand why fathers opt to go camping, roll around in elk urine, and shit in a hole rather than go to the mall three days before school starts. As if the crowds weren’t bad enough, my girl decided to wear a flannel that hung lower than her shorts, making it appear that she was walking around naked from the waist down. She was flocked by sales people, who, I am sure, were calculating their commissions in their heads. I mean, why not?

Musical genius Mackenzie is desperate to get into Juilliard, even if it means playing a duet with her best friend's boyfriend. Beautiful Ava isn't above using her assets to get an A. Athletic Caitlin is one goal away from a soccer scholarship - if she can call a time-out on her relationship drama. Popular Julie has it all - literally, thanks to her hoarder mom - and will do anything to keep her family's secret. And former It Girl Parker is experimenting with her wild side.

Best friends and unofficial brothers since they were six, ninth-graders T.C. and Augie have got the world figured out. But that all changes when both friends fall in love for the first time. Enter Alé. She's pretty, sassy, and on her way to Harvard. T.C. falls hard, but Alé is playing hard to get. Meanwhile, Augie realizes he's got a crush on a boy. It's not so clear to him, but to his family and friends, it's totally obvious!

Michael Carter is 12 years old. Right now, he and his fart brothers are in space, trying to save the president, and everything's going wrong. Every. Single. Thing. Larry is lost, but new unexpected allies are going to help the gang! Will they get rid of the gross zombies, once and for all? And the aliens? That’s a whole other story! They need to get rid of those, too.

101 Hilarious Jokes is a funny collection of clean one-liners, silly puns, and dad jokes. Perfect for family nights and road and plane trips. Try not to laugh! Appropriate for kids, teens, and adults.

Uptight elfin historian Brangwain Spurge is on a mission: survive being catapulted across the mountains into goblin territory, deliver a priceless peace offering to their mysterious dark lord, and spy on the goblin kingdom - from which no elf has returned alive in more than 100 years. Brangwain's host, the goblin archivist Werfel, is delighted to show Brangwain around. They should be the best of friends, but a series of extraordinary double crosses, blunders, and cultural misunderstandings throws these two bumbling scholars into the middle of an international crisis.

Introducing Gossip Girl, a wickedly funny and risqué original novel about the provocative lives of New York City's most prestigious private school young adults. Gossip Girl herself is an anonymous narrator with the ultimate insider scoop on the inner-workings of this privileged society because she's one of them. Sharp wit, intriguing characters, and high stakes melodrama drive the action of this addictive novel that will make Gossip Girl the lit world's new "it" girl.

It's 1991, and John "Spud" Milton's journey to manhood is still creeping along at a snail's pace. Nearly 15, Spud's starting his second year at boarding school and - to his utter mortification - he's still a spud! To make things worse, his dorm mates, the legendary Crazy Eight, have an unusual new member (Roger the cat), and his house is home to a new batch of unruly first-years. Spud is soon plagued with women trouble, coerced into expulsion-worthy adventures, and frustrated to find his dreams of fame in tatters after a disastrous production of Noah's Ark.

The Greek gods will regain control of Earth in seven days, but they suck at everything after 3,000 years in retirement. Zeus is blacking out cities with stray lightning bolts; Athena is falling in love with Google as though it’s a real person; and Dionysus is gobbling down more drugs in one day than Arizona State's entire campus.

Learn a Lot While You Sit on the Pot is a family-friendly volume packed with amusing anecdotes, surprising facts, and big splashes of fun. Including science stories, British slang, and other thrilling tidbits, Smart deftly offers a unique gag or holiday gift for teens and adults. If discovering famous plumbers and gross body details sounds delightful, waiting for things to happen in the loo will bring you joy.

It's his senior year, and Will Shea has conned his way into one of the country's most elite prep schools. But he soon runs into Andrea, a fellow con artist. With the school not big enough for the both of them, they make a bet that whoever can con Brandt Rush, the richest, most privileged student in the school, out of $50,000 gets to stay at the school. Will starts setting up his con (an online poker scam) with his uncle, who's one of the best grifters in the business, and with the unwanted help of his father.

Let’s face it: Talking about race can be difficult. It’s a slippery subject, rife with as many perspectives as there are people in the world. But laughter gets us talking. It has the power to break down barriers and draw us closer together. In Open Mic, acclaimed author and speaker Mitali Perkins invites us to listen in as 10 authors for young adults - some familiar, some new - step up to the mic and share their stories about what it’s like growing up between cultures.