Listen free for 30 days

  • And Then They Stopped Talking to Me

  • Making Sense of Middle School
  • Written by: Judith Warner
  • Narrated by: Judith Warner
  • Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
  • 4.0 out of 5 stars (3 ratings)

Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo + applicable taxes after 30 days. Cancel anytime.
And Then They Stopped Talking to Me cover art

And Then They Stopped Talking to Me

Written by: Judith Warner
Narrated by: Judith Warner
Try for $0.00

$14.95 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $35.09

Buy Now for $35.09

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Tax where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

Through the stories of kids and parents in the middle-school trenches, a New York Times best-selling author reveals why these years are so painful, how parents unwittingly make them worse, and what we all need to do to grow up.

“As the parent of a middle schooler, I felt as if Judith Warner had peered into my life - and the lives of many of my patients. This is a gift to our kids and their future selves.” (Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)

The French have a name for the uniquely hellish years between elementary school and high school: l’âge ingrat, or "the ugly age". Characterized by a perfect storm of developmental changes - physical, psychological, and social - the middle school years are a time of great distress for children and parents alike, marked by hurt, isolation, exclusion, competition, anxiety, and often outright cruelty. Some of this is inevitable; there are intrinsic challenges to early adolescence. But these years are harder than they need to be, and Judith Warner believes that adults are complicit. 

With deep insight and compassion, Warner walks us through a new understanding of the role that middle school plays in all our lives. She argues that today's helicopter parents are overly concerned with status and achievement - in some ways a residual effect of their own middle-school experiences - and that this worsens the self-consciousness, self-absorption, and social "sorting" so typical of early adolescence. 

Tracing a century of research on middle childhood and bringing together the voices of social scientists, psychologists, educators, and parents, Warner's book shows how adults can be moral role models for children, making them more empathetic, caring, and resilient. She encourages us to start treating middle schoolers as the complex people they are, holding them to high standards of kindness, and helping them see one another as more than "jocks and mean girls, nerds and sluts". 

Part cultural critique and part call to action, this essential book unpacks one of life's most formative periods and shows how we can help our children not only survive it but thrive.

©2020 Judith Warner (P)2020 Random House Audio

What the critics say

"As the parent of a middle schooler, I felt as if Warner had peered into my life - and the lives of many of my patients. With clarity, compassion, and insight, And Then They Stopped Talking to Me brilliantly captures the landscape of kids' experiences today and the psychological, familial, and cultural forces shaping them. Along the way, Warner debunks age-old myths and offers practical guidance that every parent can use. This is a gift to our kids and their future selves." (Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)

"I don't know a single adult who did not feel alone, insecure, or deeply self-conscious in middle school. Warner puts the pieces of the puzzle together to show us just how not-alone we were - and gives us the knowledge to guide our children through one of the most painful moments of childhood." (Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is)

"If your child’s middle school journey is unraveling you, Warner’s new book is the one you need to read. She will give you the gift of perspective, along with a personal and scientific understanding of what is happening to your child. I have often advised parents not to allow themselves to be sucked back into middle school when they see their children’s distress or hear their war stories. But I had no guidebook to offer them. Now I do." (Michael G. Thompson, co-author of Raising Cain)

More from the same

What listeners say about And Then They Stopped Talking to Me

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    1
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    2
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    2
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

The beginning makes me feel bad.

This talks about the horrors of middle school that I can relate to, and it just stays there making you feel bad for days until you start reading the solutions chapter.

The last chapters gives good solutions though.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!