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Publisher's Summary

Boundaries is the book that's helped more than four million people learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of their lives.

Does your life feel like it's out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone's requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others' feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it's all of the above.

In the New York Times best seller, Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life and set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself.

Now updated and expanded for the digital age, this book continues to help millions of people around the world answer these tough questions:

  • Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
  • What are legitimate boundaries?
  • How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn't control me?
  • What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
  • How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
  • Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
  • How do boundaries relate to mutual submission within marriage?
  • Aren’t boundaries selfish?

You don’t have to let your life spiral out of control. Discover how boundaries make life better today!

Plus, check out the Boundaries family collection of books dedicated to key areas of life - dating, marriage, raising kids, parenting teens, and leadership. Workbooks and Spanish editions are also available.

©2008 Henry Cloud (P)2017 Zondervan

What listeners say about Boundaries, Updated and Expanded Edition

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A necessary lesson

This was a good book on why boundaries are essential to any success in life. I liked the specific examples and a description of a person with no boundaries vs one with well defined boundaries.
We all are like a city without walls waiting to be invaded when boundaries are missing.
Personally, I was a child in a verbally abusive home where drug abuse was also present. There were fights and screams for which I had zero context. The lack of clear boundaries had a profound impact on me. Only now, in my 30s am I coming to grips with the damage done and that I will need to work on myself a lot to experience better relationships. Setting boundaries is very diff but so vital!

7 people found this helpful

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Too religious

I couldn't get through the content because they made references to Bible verses every few lines. I'm not opposed to Bible verses, but not when it upsets the flow of the novel.

15 people found this helpful

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Good content, took time to get used to narrator

after listening to the lines of brene brown, the narrator on this one could have paused and inflected more. I found out hard to follow at first with all of the scripture references and chapter and heading changes. it was a bit distracting. after awhile, I did get into it.

loved the chapter on parenting. there was lots of great stuff!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Al
  • 2018-07-08

A life changing must-read!

Likely the most comprehensive book on boundaries available. I hadn't a clue boundaries could be so all-encompassing.

1 person found this helpful

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Too religious

The sheer volume of scripture and references to The Bible made me fantasize about inventing an app that could go through the book and delete all bible references. I imagine the book would be 1/3 the size after deleting scripture passages. It was judgmental and non-inclusive in some parts, even abit victim-blamey (as most fundamentally Christian-based things are) I can handle religious references but man was this book full on bible immersion school. The information on boundaries was good but if you’re not steeped in Christianity you’re probably better off buying another of the plethora of good boundary books out there.

10 people found this helpful

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Is it selfish to put yourself first?

I bought this book because I wanted to get an answer to the question: is it selfish to put yourself first? I got my answer after reading the book (obviously answer is no, and the book explains why). The book calls itself a "biblical view on boundaries", so although I was prepared (after reading all the reviews), for the bible quotations, I did find it distracting at times because it feels like every 3rd sentence is quoting the bible. The language used by the author is also biblical (example, Satan, sin, being a good Christian) which felt outdated. Overall, I recommend this book, I believe that you will get something out of it whether or not you are Christian.

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Grow!

“Gods way of ordering our lives really does work.” Dr John Townsend presents a clear and meaningful look at life living with and without boundaries. Presenting a practical way to move forward, Townsend wonderfully weaves in God’s Word throughout this book.

I will be purchasing several copies for my close friend and family!

Highly recommended!!

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bible verse every 20 seconds!

I made it halfway through the second chapter... and it really annoys me to hear about the bible every few seconds (or every minute max). its okay to talk about the bible or the influence of Catholicism once or twice in the book, but a thousand times really gets in the way. The book is about bible interpretation more than it is about boundaries. It says in the chapter 1 that the goal of the author is to show us the "biblical" boundaries. So be it, I wish the description would have said so and I would have stayed away.

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  • Vjb
  • 2020-12-10

Amazing book very helpful!

This book was very helpful. I'm so happy I listened to it. It was such a blessing for my life.

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Content was overly religious.

I could not focus as seemingly every other sentence was about the Bible.

Unless you are very religious this book is not for you.

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  • Christina Gelder
  • 2019-03-21

Lots of biblical references

LOTS of biblical references which may be a deal breaker for some and often would be for me but in this case it was fine which just goes to show what a well written book it was and what a great message!

84 people found this helpful

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  • joe bateman
  • 2019-02-25

Learned a lot - don’t know what you don’t know

Very encouraging and convicting read. Definitely have to have an open mind. We don’t know what we don’t know. This helps address bad thinking and personal boundary setting for oneself and with others. Opened my eyes to areas in my life that I thought were normal issues that I would just live with. Now I know I can address them and improve. This book provides tangible, step by step ways to address boundaries and setting new ones.

26 people found this helpful

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  • Victoria Robben
  • 2018-06-06

Wonderful but should probably mention religion or the Bible in title

This is a great book. All the information, examples, and strategies related to boundaries was wonderful! I wish I learned this earlier! It’s helped me so much already, and will continue to help me be more responsible and healthier in my relationships, work, home life, and health. Psychologically sound, with lots of insight and practical wisdom. I’m not religious and at first was a little turned off by all the biblical references, but they were presented very well and from a rational and helpful perspective. No shaming, blaming, guilt, or judgment. I enjoyed learning about the Bible from this positive perspective.

209 people found this helpful

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  • Natalie
  • 2019-11-20

Heavy religious content - Didn't finish it.

If you are not into God this or God that or what a good Christian should or should not do, don't buy this book. Made it through the first chapter only then gave up. Disappointed.

19 people found this helpful

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  • Nicole Luchaco
  • 2019-03-04

Legitimately changed my life

I read the first 7 chapters 6 years ago, and it radically changed the way that I did life. 7 years later I came back and listened to the whole thing, and had the same experience. This book gave me the courage to say no. And to know when to say yes. I have shared this book with more people than I can count. And whenever they follow through with reading it, I hear the same thing “This book changed my life.”

36 people found this helpful

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  • Shandra L Jordan
  • 2019-01-17

This book will help you reflect

I do not subscribe to a religion but the principles in this book are universal

16 people found this helpful

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  • Vikki
  • 2018-07-20

LIFE CHANGING

I would recommend this book to all Christians and non-Christians alike. This book details concrete examples of boundaries and why they are so important. By the end it gives you the steps you will need to implement boundaries and live a healthy non-destructive lifestyle. This book will help you identify what might be holding you back. I never expected to feel so great about a book. I have since gifted this book to 5 people 😀

54 people found this helpful

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  • robbie samuel
  • 2019-05-30

everything i needed and more

John breaks it down he sums me up in a nutshell. i have a lot to work on but eagar to be the best version of me by exercising love and staying true to my boundaries

7 people found this helpful

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  • LDouglas
  • 2019-09-12

a classic, still relevant! I highly recommend it!

Some friends recommended this book to me and it has changed my life! I will be buying a physical copy of the book just so I can highlight certain things to stick in my new behavior.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Thomas Wells
  • 2018-03-20

Good book, but the reader...

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

The narrator seemed to run on. It felt like he did not give enough time between sentences and thoughts in the book. Like maybe he was rushing through it.

Any additional comments?

I do wish the book had a few more examples that are based on what the people actually did. There were a few but, I felt the book could use a few more to show the reader/ listener how and why the person came to the boundary. A little more explanation on understanding how to set appropriate boundaries too. I really enjoyed the biblical context showing that if you can parse it, The Bible is an instruction manual to life. I will definitely be listing to this book several more times!

13 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2019-03-20

too much religion

the book has interesting views, but the continuous references to the bible make it a strenuous read

2 people found this helpful