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Publisher's Summary

New York Times Best Seller

“This book is a gift! I’ve been practicing their strategies, and it’s a total game-changer.” (Brené Brown, PhD, author of the number one New York Times best seller Dare to Lead)

This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men - and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life.

Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things - and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. How can you “love your body” when every magazine cover has 10 diet tips for becoming “your best self”? How do you “lean in” at work when you’re already operating at 110 percent and aren’t recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a sexist world that is constantly telling you you’re too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish?

Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against - and show us how to fight back. 

In this audiobook, you’ll learn:

  • What you can do to complete the biological stress cycle - and return your body to a state of relaxation
  • How to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration
  • How the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies - and how to defend yourself against it
  • Why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering and preventing burnout 

With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful exercises, all women will find something transformative in this audiobook - and will be empowered to create positive change. Emily and Amelia aren’t here to preach the broad platitudes of expensive self-care or insist that we strive for the impossible goal of “having it all”. Instead, they tell us that we are enough, just as we are - and that wellness, true wellness, is within our reach. 

Named One of the Best Books of the Year by Book Riot 

"Burnout is the gold standard of self-help books, delivering cutting-edge science with energy, empathy, and wit. The authors know exactly what’s going on inside your frazzled brain and body, and exactly what you can do to fix it. Truly life-changing." (Sarah Knight, New York Times best-selling author of Calm the F--k Down

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2019 Emily Nagoski (P)2019 Random House Audio

What the critics say

“In Burnout, Emily and Amelia Nagoski deconstruct the stress we experience as women, and their compassionate, science-based advice on how to release it made me cry with gratitude and relief. Repeatedly. In public. The book is that revolutionary and its authors that wonderful and wise.” (Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls and Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape)

“Reading Burnout, I knew this was not just another self-help book that keeps us trapped by the idea of female inadequacy. It turns our struggle with stress on its head and paves a meaningful path to what the authors call ‘growing mighty’ by bravely dropping in thoroughly contemporary and refreshing truth bombs, like, yeah, the patriarchal system is the issue, and goddamn it’s time we play by our own rules!" (Sarah Wilson, New York Times best-selling author of First, We Make the Beast Beautiful)

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What listeners say about Burnout

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Too Much About Inequality & the Patriarch

I'm halfway through, but I may not finish it. The first chapter was ok, but I'm not sure what happened after that. To me, this book seemed less about burnout and more about equality and the patriarch. Don't get me wrong, I believe in equality, but it was not what I was expecting this book to be so much about. About 80% of the time the author says the word "patriarch" it is followed by "ugh" - which is very annoying for a listener.

The book is narrated by the authors themselves. They talked so fast that I had to reduce the speed. The fast talking along with the constant complaining about the patriarch gave me anxiety.

As a person recovering from Burnout, I think I had my hopes too high for this book. There were some sentences that were gems...but they were too few and far between.

2 people found this helpful

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Necessary feminist analysis about women's lives

Finally a book that talks about the reality of women's lives and doesn't skirt the patriarchy. This is no ordinary self-help book but is instead a life changing and empowering deconstruction of patriarchal society and the damage done to women. AND it is fun to read. The authors have an excellent sense of humour, don't take themselves too seriously and lay out practical ways to thrive in a culture that teaches women to be polite, quiet and non-confrontational...all of which lead to us being tired, stressed and old way before our time. Do yourself a favour and take a brave dive into the truth and find your SELF!

2 people found this helpful

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10/10

Everyone, especially vagina owners, need to read this book. Every page is like a mind bomb, so many powerful implications. I now identify as a recovering human giver. Reading this and then Come As You Are for a further deep dive into how this all impacts sexuality. Bought multiple copies of each book to give out to my friends and clients (I'm a Pelvic Physio). 10/10

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Such an important book!

This and Come As You Are are two of the most important books a person can read. I was amazed at how much my world shook and then grew in beautiful ways when I read this. Highly recommended!

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Exactly what I needed to hear

After the year we have all had, I think we could all use this book. Some of the information I "knew" but needed the reminder, and other parts have completely reframed my perception of myself. I loved it so much that I bought a paper copy too. The only down side was that I wasn't a fan of some of the music/sound effects.

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Fantastic read

Recommend for anyone experiencing stress or burnout. Easy to understand, fun to listen to and eye opening explanations to help you unpack your own unique experience. This was a big help for me after burning out at work and in life dealing with chronic pain. Wish I had this years ago!!

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Every woman should listen to this audio book!

Absolutely loved it! Learned so much! and the authors do such a great job narrating, I feel like I'm listening to friends who want to help me out! I'm actually sad it's over... But consoling myself since I found their podcast The feminist survival project.

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a humorous, insightful and scientific joy ride

With such excellent, animated narration, I feel better equipped to be aware of, and manage, my human giver stress.
The sisters share thought-provoking perspectives backed by scientific, televised/film, and real life examples (of ways we rob ourselves of joy and connection).
Such a JOY to listen to - though Chapter 5 was a difficult topic, Chapter 6, Connect, MOVED me most.
This was such a refreshingly different type of personal development book I'll recommend to MANY connections!
I MUST buy the hardcover or paperback for keepers!

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A lot to learn

Great flow...a little hard in the middle, great summation in the end. Being a man reading this, there was so much to take away. The defensive side of me felt like some of the bad was definitely targeted at me though. Still they were clear in the beginning to state it wasn’t for a specific gender, but there were many examples of when it seemed almost militantly clear that man was the enemy. I don’t believe this was the actual message. In fact the giver syndrome and crazy lady in the head all resonated with me strongly, and I think they would agree it can. But I can definitely see those who haven’t listened to brene brown when she talks about realizing her research didn’t just effect women epiphany, be put off by a slight insinuation that a male may not relate to this book. This isn’t going to stop me from reading everything else they may have come out in the future. This book is still extremely relevant to my life at the moment. And is honestly a treasure for anyone who wants to understand their partners if they feel they’re burning out.

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You need to read this book

I found myself talking to the book saying Yes! Exactly! That’s right! At so many points. Everyone needs to read this

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  • Kris
  • 2019-08-22

Solid Book with a Single Exception

As a man who first listened to Come as You Are, and who then recommended it to his wife and 15 year-old son, I was excited to move on to Burnout. As many did, I found the stress response cycle to be an intriguing idea in Come as You Are. I also found the book to be more universally applicable to men and women than the title suggested, gaining valuable insights into my own sexuality, not just my partner's.

My lone exception to Burnout book is the introduction. The introduction lumps all men into The Patriarchy and then proceeds to label The Patriarchy as The Enemy. I kept waiting for some distinction to emerge between The Enemy and men who care about their wives and daughters and the cultural messages they receive about their lives and particularly how they SHOULD lead their lives. Yet no mention was ever made; in fact The Enemy, without distinction, was repeated multiple times throughout the introduction.

As a college educated, white male and the sole income earner in a 1950's-style nuclear family, I understand the privileged position I'm in. And I don't take it for granted. Yet that privilege doesn't impart a carefree, stress-free life. My gender and my role carry their own embedded and misguided cultural messages, their own stressors, and I do actually have my own stress-response cycle to complete. But above all else, I care about how my wife and young daughter are expected to move through and respond to the world.

I kept waiting for the introduction to make the leap to the conceptual Enemy - The Should. I can except The Patriarchy as having established and continuing to perpetuate the myth of Should. It is the idea that any of us Should live our lives conforming to outdated and detrimental cultural norms about gender, religious, and racial equality, and more importantly true, individual freedoms, that is The Enemy. Failing to make room for a single man who actually cares is itself a perpetuation of outdated and detrimental cultural stereotypes.

It hasn't ruined the book for me. The book is, as expected, insightful, helpful and universally applicable to women and to men (who also actually have emotions). I'll still ask that my wife listen to it, and even recommend it to both my 15yo son and 12yo daughter. And I'd recommend it to whomever has taken the time to read this.

131 people found this helpful

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  • Banjo Becky
  • 2019-11-24

Strong start, got a bit ranty. Couldn’t finish it.

The beginning of this book was promising and I really enjoyed the narration. In the beginning you could hear flecks if angry feminism and I get it, I’m a feminist and get angry too. The problem is when you pick up a book that sounds like something that is going to help you through something, in this case burnout, and it turns into you and the author just getting mad about the circumstances that led to the problem. Yeah, that was kinda how it got after the first chapter and just kept going. It is important to know how women get burnout but maybe having already known that stuff, it just was fuel to a fire for me and just made me angrier about things that are way beyond my control. I got to the last couple of hours and had to stop listening because it was taking me further down the disengagement with life than I was when I picked up the book.

34 people found this helpful

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  • Teresa Johnson
  • 2020-05-06

Leftist and very whiny.

There are some helpful ideas for coping with burnout; but the important stuff is buried in extreme leftist politics. And, I just don't care for whiny. This was in the self-help section. It should be in the whiny, crybaby, I hate men section. And it needs a warning label that it's more politics than help. I'm a 60 year old woman. I know many women all colors and all sorts of political leanings. Everyone of them are strong, mature women. They don't whine; and they like men just fine. I'm burned out from trying to get thru this book.

15 people found this helpful

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  • Erika Walther Quirk
  • 2019-03-28

Refreshing

I’ve listened to many self help books and they can get repetitive. This one had a fresh voice and intriguing ideas I hadn’t heard before. About to start it over and listen again.

14 people found this helpful

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  • Jessica
  • 2019-06-21

revelatory!

I honestly CAN. NOT. Say enough good things about this book! This is us! It is how our brains work! It is how and why our friendships work! This book is nourishment! It's vegetables for the soul! It explains SO much of the stress response, and why the things that make us feel better work! It's written by twins, they read it and are fun. This book is especially intended for women and talks about some of the systematic stresses we experience. It includes people of color and LGBTQ etc, makes disclaimers about the science (who did the science, who paid for it, who was and wasn't studied). It talks about stress from body issues, and the patriarchy and politics. Please add this to your must read list. This would be an excellent book for allies, men who want to improve diversity in the workplace, or wherever. Please encourage them to understand us better. I've literally had aha after aha about stress, coping methods, and even normalizing reassurance about the slightly woo-feeling of Knowing how other people feel. This book is helpful, normalizing, and encouraging. I want you all to read it and know that you are the new Hotness!. 😘💌

12 people found this helpful

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  • Lynn Hurley
  • 2019-06-05

Timely and insightful

The authors do a great job of breaking down the causes of burnout and what we can do in response. While geared toward women, the learnings and tools are applicable to all, and I would go as far to say that most managers and parents irrespective of gender should give this a read to help better society overall. Another massively insightful, science backed book. I’d trust these authors with anything.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Melissa
  • 2019-04-29

Great content, couldn’t finish it

The tips and advice in this book are fantastic, but I couldn’t get past all the trying to be cool references. The narration was awful too. I couldn’t finish listening and returned it, but plan to get a hard copy because the strategies really are great.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Scott Thompson
  • 2019-07-24

Great science if you push past the agenda

This book has seriously transformed the way I work with clients as their mental health therapist. It has reframed the way I view stress and has reinforced the message of self care in an evidence based no BS way. I LOVE that.

I would have rated this title 5 stars if there had been less man bashing and political messages being delivered. I certainly did not purchase this book to hear about how oppressed I am as a women. Was getting quite tired of the phrase "patriarch...eck" We get it, you hate masculinity and everything it stands for.

I have recommended this book to other women but have warned them...as long as you can stick to the science and real life tools to deal with stress and ignore the underlying agenda, you will gain great knowledge.

16 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2019-08-14

A Lot of Great Insight

This book had a lot of great insight. Some of the examples can get a little distracting with how they present it. Overall however, there was a lot of good ideas every woman should know.

I disagree with some of the views stating the book had a feminist propaganda. Woman for the most part have been raised and treated differently then males. Although I do not know if I agree to some of the extent to which it was presented, it is important to respect the social and culture differences attributing to burn out.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Thomas
  • 2019-07-28

Finding meaning in Joy

I can’t begin to express how much this book has and will continue to help me. I would recommend it to anyone is looking to understand why they feel the way they do and that they don’t have to be overwhelmed and stressed.

3 people found this helpful