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  • But You're Still So Young

  • How Thirtysomethings Are Redefining Adulthood
  • Written by: Kayleen Schaefer
  • Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
  • Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
  • 5.0 out of 5 stars (1 rating)

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But You're Still So Young

Written by: Kayleen Schaefer
Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
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Publisher's Summary

One of....
Vogue's “Best of 2021” - BuzzFeed's “Most Anticipated 2021” - The Week's “Must Reads in 2021” - PopSugar's "A Running List of the Best Books of 2021"

From the author of Text Me When You Get Home, the acclaimed celebration of friendship, comes a timely and essential look at what it means to be a 30something...and how it is more okay than ever to not have every box checked off.

The traditional “check list” of becoming an adult has existed for decades. Sociologists have long identified these markers of adulthood as: completing school, leaving home, establishing a career/becoming financially independent, getting married, and having children. But the signifiers of being in our thirties today are not the same - repeated economic upheaval, rising debt, decreasing marriage rates, fertility treatments, and a more open-minded society have all led to a shifting definition of adulthood.

But You’re Still So Young cleverly shows how thirtysomethings have rethought these five major life events. Schaefer describes her own journey through her 30s - including a nonlinear career path, financial struggles, romantic mistakes, and an unconventional path to parenthood - shares findings from data research, and conducts interviews nationwide. For each milestone, the book highlights men and women from various backgrounds, from around the country, and delves into their experiences navigating an ever-changing financial landscape and evolving societal expectations. The thirtysomethings in this book envisioned their thirties differently than how they are actually living them. He thought he would be done with his degree; she thought she’d be married; they thought they’d be famous comedians; and everyone thought they would have more money.

Schaefer uses her smart narrative framing and relatable voice to show how the 30s have changed from the cultural stereotypes around them, and how they are a radically different experience for Americans now than they were for any other generation. And as Schaefer and her sources show, not being able to do everything isn’t a sign of a life gone wrong. Being open to going sideways or upside down or backward means finding importance and value in many different ways of living.

©2021 Kayleen Schaefer (P)2021 Penguin Audio

What the critics say

“In the 1950s, sociologists came up with a checklist for entering adulthood: finish school, leave home, make your own money, marry, and become a parent.... In her thoughtful and well-paced evaluation of 'adulthood', Schaefer explores the struggle today’s ascendant adults face in getting anywhere near these goals 'on time'.” (The New York Times Book Review)

“Schaefer mixes social science, psychology, original reporting, and personal anecdotes into a work of nonfiction that is as compact and refreshing as a soft-serve ice cream cone.... Clearheaded and full of heart, But You’re Still So Young offers a gentle indictment of a broken system and also a soothing message: Nobody’s got it all figured out." (Vogue, "The Best Books to Read in 2021")

“A sharp and empathetic investigation into what being in your thirties means today. Weaving together personal history, original reporting, and cultural analysis, Schaefer tackles five of the major milestones we’ve been told define adulthood - finishing school, leaving home, getting married, gaining financial independence, and having kids - and explores their modern significance, presenting a compelling argument that these achievements aren’t actually as meaningful as we’ve been led to believe. It’s a must-read for anyone who’s ever considered bucking tradition - or anyone who’d like to better understand why this isn’t a bad thing.” (Arianna Rebolini, BuzzFeed)

What listeners say about But You're Still So Young

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