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Come as You Are

The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
Written by: Emily Nagoski
Narrated by: Emily Nagoski
Length: 11 hrs and 53 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (143 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

An essential exploration of why and how women's sexuality works - based on groundbreaking research and brain science - that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.

Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a "pink pill" for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist - but as a result of the research that's gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women's sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all....

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2015 Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. All rights reserved. (P)2015 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

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    5 out of 5 stars

A must-read for women

I've had libido issues ever since a terrible heart break/betrayal by an ex. it's been 2 years. I've felt broken. This blessing of a book didn't make it the way it used to be, but it did something more important: it made me feel better about myself. it made me feel like I wasn't broken - and I'm not, none of us are. It gave me advice to help it improve and therefore improve my sex life. It informed me on women's anatomy, sexuality, and how it's affected by the people and messages around me. I truly think it's helped improved my Outlook on my sexuality and lack of it - and how to be OK with however it is.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Platitudes with lots of excitement

Excited on the verge of maniacal tone of narration, but very little substance in the end. The author can’t seem to make a point without promising you to reveal all the secrets “in the next chapter” over and over again. Didn’t work on me, sorry. Waste of credit.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

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Changed my life

Incredible book. I have recommended it to just about everyone I know. So important for for women and those who want to give pleasure to women to understand these concepts.

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Come EXACTLY as you are!

This book is for every adult human. The message is so simple, yes so profound.

The story telling is fun and easy to listen to. Everything is explained using scientific facts that will make you feel like you are perfect and “normal” just the way you are.

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Refreshing, and Utterly Necessary

As a 22 year old woman who married her highschool sweet heart fresh out of highschool, this was such an inspiring and refreshing book. Growing up in a Christian home, there were a few opposing ideas that I denied were affecting me, but I can now face them and release them.

I am still a practicing Christian, however I am taking this knowledge and applying it to my life to help me regain ownership of my sexuality!

Thank you Emily for taking the time to gather this information and share it with the world; we really needed this message.

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I relearned so much with Emily!

great down to earth approach to what is and what shouldn't be expected with our female counterpart.
Lovely humour and abrasive some time to us guys.. but we had to expect it someday!

Thanks Emily for all the information and opinion given to subjects too many times being hushed and misjudged by too many men and women.

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absolutely amazing

Everyone needs to read this book! Female and male! I have been recommending it to everyone! It has given me a lot of information to share with others to help bring more positive sex culture in my life and theirs. It has has such useful information whe it comes to human sexuality, how tonnavigate it, how to communicate it. 10/10!!!

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  • Dan
  • 2019-02-23

A must listen to or read by men and women

changed the way I think about women and sexuality I will be recommending this book to all I know

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Amazing and life changing ❤

Amazing and life changing ❤ highly recommend this book to everyone! some parts were hard to read because the truth pill is ( most times) hard to swallow.

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insight

So much insightful information about sex, your body, genitals, our mind and how humans work. All around fantastic book!

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  • Jason Largent
  • 2017-01-27

Awesome book Very informative and enlightening

Full disclosure: I'm a guy...

That said; this book is great. It really helped me to understand and rethink how my partners mind and body may feel and react to stimuli... contrary to what I previously "assumed" or was fought.

thank you Emily Nagoski for putting this out there.

20 of 20 people found this review helpful

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  • Ville Walveranta
  • 2016-01-23

More interesting than I thought

Would you listen to Come as You Are again? Why?

Probably not all the way through (I bookmarked few spots thought); there were handful of very interesting concepts, which I have now absorbed.

Any additional comments?

As I started listening to this book I thought: "Oh, this is a book for women" (I'm male), but decided to continue listening, and I'm glad I did. Yes, it is primarily written for women, but there were several general concepts about human sexuality (which are also applicable to men) I was unaware of. And, being a straight guy, it was good to learn about some some central factors in female sexuality, too. :-) Arousal nonconcordance, the dual control model, the extent of the effect of the context, what Emily refers to as "the little monitors" (maybe not a scientific term?), and the criterion velocity were all partially or entirely new information to me. It's always interesting to learn how there are various systems in the human body that have been mapped out and understood to this extent. Yes, it was definitely worth a listen; I'd say this is one of those books that would make a big difference in many people's lives if everyone would read it at around the age of 20.

15 of 15 people found this review helpful

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  • Kendra Holliday
  • 2016-01-31

Positive, Encouraging, Exciting

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

As a sex educator, I encounter many couples with mismatched libido and women who feel like they are "broken." This book taught me SOOO many new concepts I am eager to share! It is easy to understand, eye opening, based on science, and encouraging. ALL women should read it, and all men should, too! We need to come to a common understanding of how society skews male and female sexuality. We all have the same parts, they're just organized in different ways and women have to deal with so many challenges.

Who was your favorite character and why?

The author Emily reads the audio version and lends such a positive, upbeat attitude to the learning process. You can visualize the smile on her face as she shares insight. Very comforting and pleasant.

What does Emily Nagoski bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

I ended up buying a paperback version so I could mark it up - there were so many key points I wanted to remember. I kept rewinding and listening again. Invaluable info.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

If someone listens carefully to this book, it can change their life. It can help them accept who they are, which is key to being comfortable with your sexuality.

Any additional comments?

This book can change lives for the better. So sympathetic, helpful, comprehensive, positive. I'm so impressed with the information shared.

40 of 42 people found this review helpful

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  • ksc0967
  • 2017-05-17

EVERY woman should read/listen to this book!

... and then share it with every other woman in her life. Emily takes science & makes it make sense in an articulate, compassionate, humorous way. I plan to get a hard copy & do lots & lots of highlights & notes. As a survivor of childhood incestuous sexual abuse I can recommend this book as a great way to start dispelling the myths & erroneous self-talk inherent to that history. I wish I'd had this book 30 years ago!!!

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

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  • Little.mama.bear
  • 2018-05-08

Not what I was looking for

All about female empowerment- informative but very repetitive

Just not quite what I was looking for

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • Hillarie Jill Gowers
  • 2015-06-10

Please stop what you are doing and read this book.

Every one should read this book. I know it is geared towards women, but really anyone who has a vulva or is interested in spending time with one should read it.

24 of 27 people found this review helpful

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  • Aaron
  • 2015-08-01

very educational!

As a man who has always been fascinated by the fairer sex, I absolutely loved this audio book. It's a treasure trove of information that I had never heard before, and how it's explained is easy to understand. The performance was very well done as well. 10/10 and I might just have to buy the hard copy as well

16 of 18 people found this review helpful

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  • M. Gutierrez
  • 2015-07-03

This book is amzing!!!!

Im a male. This really opens your thought process on a womens mind. A must read for people in relationships with sexual troubles

12 of 14 people found this review helpful

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  • coffeekid
  • 2017-03-16

Very Juvenile, Very Repetitive

Any additional comments?

I didn't find this book helpful at all, and I feel like it is aimed at adolescent or young girls who know nothing about sex. The author repeats herself constantly, and uses patronizing repetitive phrases such as "we all have the same parts" "the feels" "yummy and yucky" etc. She also uses childlike and juvenile metaphors over and over again, such as explaining sexuality as "a garden." She mentions how she teaches sex education to college students, and I feel like this whole book is meant for insecure teenage girls who don't know anything about sex or human anatomy. If you are looking for an advanced book that will actually go into science about sex, look elsewhere. If you want to be told over and over again that your body is beautiful and your "parts" are normal, than maybe this is for you. For me, it was extremely juvenile.

27 of 33 people found this review helpful

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  • Noelle
  • 2015-09-14

BUY THIS BOOK!

Would you listen to Come as You Are again? Why?

YES! I finished it and the next day started at the beginning again.

Any additional comments?

I have read about six books on the topic of "sex self help" in the past several months and this one changed EVERYTHING! Emily is funny and smart and relatable and nonjudgmental. Her advice completely changed the way I think about my sexuality and may just end up saving my marriage. I am SO grateful. Buy this book! Buy it now!

12 of 15 people found this review helpful

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  • Isabel Martins
  • 2018-08-27

Amazing and life changing!

This book is a gem, filled with information that all women and girls should be taught about themselves from the get go. Until we reach that new education (r)evolution, this book is it! Amazing, healing and life changing!

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  • David
  • 2017-08-25

using pseudo science

using pseudo science to legitimate her point of view. But that's my point of view.
Kd

0 of 3 people found this review helpful