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Difficult Conversations cover art

Difficult Conversations

Written by: Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
Narrated by: Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
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Publisher's Summary

Dealing with your ex-husband, who can't seem to show up reliably for weekends with the kids; navigating a workplace fraught with office politics or racial tensions; saying "I'm sorry" or "I love you."

We all have difficult conversations, no matter how confident or competent we are. And too often, no matter what we try, things don't go well. Should you say what you're thinking and risk starting a fight? Swallow your views and feel like a doormat? Or should you let them have it? But - what if you're wrong?

Difficult Conversations shows you a way out of this dilemma; it teaches you how to handle even the toughest conversations more effectively and with less anxiety. Based on 15 years of work at Harvard Negotiation Project and consultations with thousands of people, the authors answer the question: When people confront the conversations they dread the most, what works?

Difficult Conversations walks you through a proven, concrete, step-by-step approach for understanding and conducting tough conversations. It shows you how to get ready, how to start the conversations in ways that reduce defensiveness, and how to keep the conversation on a constructive track regardless of how the other person responds.

Whether you're dealing with your baby-sitter or biggest client, your boss or your brother-in-law, Difficult Conversations can help.

©1999 Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (P)1999 Random House, Inc., All Rights Reserved

What the critics say

“Does this book deliver on its promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether ‘with your babysitter or your biggest client’? It does.” (The New York Times)

“These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice.” (Booklist)

“I’m on my third reading. Half the pages are dog-eared. This is a mind-bogglingly powerful book. For life.” (Tom Peters)

What listeners say about Difficult Conversations

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Good on paper maybe

This book is full of great examples on how to talk about difficult things, however, the examples where things go wrong, sound like real conversation, whereas the examples of what you should try saying, sound like scripted bologna. If I try talking like this to someone, I think they'll shutdown and tell me to get lost because it sounds like I'm reading what to say out of a book. It doesn't sound like natural english conversation. Having said that, I did learn things from this book and will try to adapt the examples into plain english and see how thtat works.

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Excellent, highly recommended!

Loved the practical wisdom and the real-world examples and role plays on the good, bad and ugly ways to have difficult conversations. Excellent companion book to Crucial Conversations. Taking away the emphasis on Contribution and Curiosity.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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amazjng

I really enjoyed this book. helped shift my perspective on how I manage myself during difficult conversations.

I used the And Stance on many occasions, and my listening has improved.

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Great book full of valuable ideas

This is a great book of concepts to use during any type of conversation. Keeping these thoughts and approaches in mind is sure to result in a better understanding between the parties resulting in better outcomes for both parties.

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    1 out of 5 stars
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Lots of what ifs and maybes and nothing useful

This book was not informative or easy to listen to. It was a waste of time.

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1 person found this helpful