I am who I am, and I won’t apologize for it. I don’t know how to be...normal. I have my reasons. I've been through hell. I've touched the flames themselves, and I've danced with the devil. Intimately. Damnation torched my soul until it was black. I am who I am, and I won’t apologize for it. I don’t know how to be...normal. I have my reasons. I've been through hell. I've touched the flames themselves, and I've danced with the devil. Intimately. Damnation torched my soul until it was black.

I miss alcohol. The craving claws against my stomach every day. And being in this rehab center doesn’t help. No one understands how it feels to not be able to save someone you love. And a patient here, Sunnie, she tries to make me feel better. She reads a damn book to me every chance she gets, and it grinds my nerves. Who the hell is that happy? She makes me want to drink. Then, she shares her pain, and I realize her bright disposition is a mask. I find myself wanting to make her smile, to make her happiness permanent. 

I went from being an irresponsible kid who didn’t know any better to an irresponsible man who does. I make no apologies. Don’t take my carelessness for strength. My blood is as deadly as the bullet that killed my brother, and once I’m cut, there’s no stopping the river of rage. My past is dead. I’m not like my MC brothers. Nothing is going to come bite me in the ass. Or so I thought. Because life gave me Mary, the little hellraiser who tries to be reckless. She’s only looking to escape the nightmare of what happened to her in Atlantic City.

They think they are safe. Isn’t that sickening? They are decorating for Christmas. Twinkling lights. Wreaths. Mistletoe. Laughter. All that is missing is snow. They are the idea of a perfect family, aren’t they? I wonder how many of them are wishing for a Christmas miracle. How many of them only want peace? A night full of magic and wonder... Well. Not when I'm here. It’s a beautiful time to be the Groundskeeper. Turning miracles into nightmares. 

There are few things people know about me. I'm Scottish. I really hate pants. And Poodle is me best friend. But. There are always buts. There is one thing people don't know. Me love for fightin'. I come from a long line of fighters. I live it. I breathe it. Flesh. Blood. And brass knuckles. It's me way of life. So I fight, legally. No one knows.

My hand shakes when I read the note. Everyone is here. I think. There are so many people. So many painted faces. How am I supposed to know who is missing? I knew this party was a bad idea. Now, one of my own is in trouble and as the Prez of the MC, I should know not to play a game. But we are on a timer and someone is using us as pawns. It’s up to us to save one of our own.

I've never known the calm before the storm. The storm never leaves. Thunder raging. Lightning crashing. With me, right in the middle. The worst storm hit when I was 17. My girlfriend? Dead. My daughter? Missing without a trace. That broke me worse than thunder and lightning ever could. Then, the Ruthless Kings MC became my salvation. The brotherhood turned a boy into a man. Never knowing the beast within. Or the storms that followed me everywhere.

I wouldn't burden anyone with loving me. I'm a hard man to love. Until she walks through the garage doors, looking perfect in her little blue dress and high heels. She's neat and clean and too damn good for me, but I'm determined to get her filthy. Then Reaper reminds me of the debt I owe him, and the fine is costly — stay away from the woman whose voice is a song.

Bitterness and anger cloud my judgment when it comes to the MC. What is so great about them that I can't have on the outside? What is so great about the patch? Death? Blood? Fear? That is all I've experienced with the club. I hated to leave my sister. She's the only reason I stayed as long as I did. But it's time for something new.

This is a new start. A clean slate for not just me or Scarlett, but for everyone else that’s trusted me to make their life better. Deciding to keep the Atlantic City chapter name was the right move. Not only is the weight of the members on my shoulders, but the immense responsibility of proving ourselves to the city. I need the community to accept us, to come to us when we need help, and most importantly, I don’t want them to fear us. But it isn’t going to be easy. 

There are a few things I don’t like to talk about in life. My father. And Kansas. I hate him, and I hate that godforsaken state. To this day, I haven’t loved because there’s a fear. An inkling. An instinct that I will be just like him. I convinced myself our blood was rotten, tainted, and sour. I believe I didn’t have the ability to be faithful or loyal. But then after a blizzard, a sailboat washed to shore. And she was there. She’s here at the clubhouse now. Violet Winston.

We’ve been traveling all over the country, recruiting new members for our club. Before we call it quits, we make a pitstop in Las Vegas. I’m owed a debt, and I’ve come to collect. It’s been awhile since I spoke to the president of the Ruthless Kings. And I’m calling in my marker. I figured I’d ask for cash, maybe a few new recruits, arms-dealer networks, but he said no. That’s fine. But then I set my sights on her. A blonde bombshell. Yeah, she’s mine. 

I deal with highs and lows, but somehow, I end up making the best of it. My family disowned me, but family is the reason why I’m in Vegas. Even with my inability to think straight, I end up being in charge of a bunch of runaway mental patients. Hence, The Asylum. A sanctuary for lost causes. Where crazy can roam free, and compulsions can be let loose. My nephew says as long as it stays at The Asylum, we won’t have problems. What fun would it be if problems didn’t exist? And my problem is in the shape of a dancer, twirling on the front lawn in the middle of the night.

Even without a memory, the world is a dark and damned place. There are things around us that regular people don’t know about.... I know those things. I’ve done those things. It’s the way of this world when you’re on the throne. This temple is rightfully mine. I am the crown. This isn’t just my life. It’s my soul. My empire. My fortress. And her. She’s too sweet, so innocent, so naïve to the world around her and I want to immerse myself in it. But there is an ill twist hanging in the air.

One, two, three, four...I declare a deadly war. Five, six, seven, eight...I can't keep my mind straight. Nine, ten...I'll hunt her down and make her mine again. I'm not the kind of man to take dares lightly. They tend to make me more...insane.... She's in the place I escaped from. And my mania is on overload. I'm frantic. I'm reckless. I'm murderous. My mind is chaos. I can feel her, sense her, and scent her. Her fear. Her madness. Her need. My instincts are on overload. And I'm not the type of hunter that uses a gun.