Exhausted Wives, Bewildered Husbands: Why Your Marriage Is Hurting, and How to Blossom as a Couple
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Exhausted Wives, Bewildered Husbands: Why Your Marriage Is Hurting, and How to Blossom as a Couple
Buy Now for $8.71
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Narrated by:
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J. D. Ledford
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Written by:
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Adam Smith
About this listen
Perfect for couples struggling with resentment and confusion.
A damaged man is incapable of love because he does not believe love will be freely given, only earned through works. He seeks false intimacy in lust and mistakes sex for acceptance. These men seek insecure women who believe themselves unlovable and who use sex to earn approval.
When these couples enter into marriage, unmet needs and secret expectations pile up until the relationship is full of festering resentment. Along come children who add greater urgency to fixing the emotional damage. But with no hope in sight, what can the couples do except march toward inevitable divorce?
Licensed marriage and family therapist Adam Lane Smith walks couples through explanations and solutions to these problems. This short and simple book is designed to give couples the skills they need to repair a resentful and empty marriage. Through simple techniques, committed couples can alter their perspective, climb out of their trenches, and learn to work together in an intimate partnership.
©2019 Adam Lane Smith (P)2019 Adam Lane Smiththis is a fabulous book
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15 more words are required blah blah blah
Great book
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This book pays attention to what's underneath all the communication and addresses an often ignored but all too common struggle: that of behaviour from partners who are not evil/toxic but still emotionally detached and unhealthy; who desperately mean well and believe they are doing their best to love their partner/family, but continue leveraging damaging behaviour because they do not understand attachment.
I appreciate that this book is not a call to save the unhealthy partner, as I’ve encountered elsewhere, or steeped in religious theory, as is all too common.
However, the narration is odd. Examples are read theatrically, in tones that are mocking or patronizing, giving the impression the reader thinks people must be really stupid to be found in the dismal situations the author describes.
Additionally, the book seemed to focus well on attachment until the last 15-20 minutes or so, where Smith jumps off a cliff of outdated, sexist, patriarchal nonsense about how he believes women are naturally suited for housework and childrearing and aren't aggressive like men and how "harmony reigns" when gender roles are fulfilled in an attached partnership, blah blah blah . Totally unnecessary and really drags the end of the book down, reducing my review all around. He frames attached success as a husband feeling his wife "makes his life easier" and asking their wife if she would "like him to make the final decision". He digs in, noting that women are confused by men's raging sex-beast libidos and women are primed to need security because during pregnancy they "waddle like a duck" (a phrase used over a half dozen times in a few short minutes). It gets really gross and then ends with the aforementioned patronizing, quavering mockery of couples making use of the strategies in the book.
If you can get past the questionable tone and end it before the last 20 minutes, there is some useful content in here to reflect on whether you have been a healthy partner, unhealthy partner, or partner who started off healthy but has slid into a pattern of unhealthy responses over the years.
Useful strategies, rocky read/listen
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