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God Is Disappointed in You

Narrated by: James Urbaniak
Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (68 ratings)
Price: CDN$ 26.81
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Publisher's Summary

God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each.

Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers and church sermons.

Irreverent yet faithful, this book is a must-listen for anyone who wants to see past the fog of religious agendas and cultural debates to discover what the Bible really says.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2011 Mark Russell and Shannon Wheeler (P)2014 Audible Inc.

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Amusing summary of the bible.

Captures the essence of the bible in often hilarious ways. I couldn't imagine a better narrator for the job. Don't listen to it if you are easily offended or if you take your Christianity (or yourself, or life) too seriously.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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The Bible for those with a funny bone

This was an excellent book to listen to while working. I'm very familiar with the Bible, and it was hilarious and refreshing to hear each book summarized in so crisp and humorously as this. highly recommend for those who've read the Bible and those who haven't even opened its pages

7 of 8 people found this review helpful

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OMG - Best $20 EVER Spent on here!!

This book was amazingly awesome!! Intelligent humour, mixed with biblical stories sewn together seamlessly for today's generation. Once I started this book, I was unable to put it down. I finished it in its entirety in one weekend, and I'm a single working mother who was getting her child ready for back to school (first day at a new school - starting junior high to boot!). I just couldn't get enough. The narrator did a fantastic job - humorous, perfect inflections of emotions and sarcasm where required, and he actually felt like he truly believed what he was saying! I bought this book on a whim, and although I was raised Catholic I am nowhere near a staunch religious individual in anyway. It should be noted that even though the authors are certainly NOT mocking the bible or religion in any way, shape or form, we ALL know that there will STILL be those few people who will raise a stink by saying the exact opposite! Lets just say that I thoroughly enjoyed this book so much that I'm now reading it AGAIN for a second time around!! Everyone who ever grew up and was made to go to Church on Sundays, attend Catholic schools, read bible passages in religion classes, etc. should definitely read God Is Disappointed In You...you'll gain an entirely new insight and appreciation into what those bible lessons were REALLY trying to teach us!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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insightful and delightful

I loved this book and laughed all the way through it. Its not rude or disrespectful in anyway but witty and fun humor. very informative as well, Sums up the Bible nicely.

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Better then the reference material.

The narrator is amazing. If you don’t have time to read the bible or find it boring this is the book for you. Plus side it’s hilarious. #Audible1

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The truth said in today's real language<br />

It was a great reminder who / how much power God holds. God is both an instant dystroyer & a perfect Condition lover.

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Not recommended!!

I thought this would be an interesting rendition of the Bible. There were some funny parts/paraphrases that I found amusing. However, there are a number of inaccuracies (which is ironic as the author wrote this book to ‘explain’ the Bible) which makes me think that the author did not truly read, let alone study, the Bible. Finally, this book is beyond crude and offensive to anyone who believes the Bible is God’s word.

2 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • Nicolas Paul Dunbar
  • 2015-05-28

Not disappointed in this book!

While I found this book to be highly irreverent I also found it to be highly funny! It is well written and equally well narrated. It covers books from both the old and New Testament and quite ably if I'm allowed to say so.

I have a few quibbles with some of the stories and a bit of the language used to describe the overall themes of the books. As a minister I found a few inconsistencies with the biblical record in the storytelling but it is mostly accurate with only a few mistakes here and there. Since this is written as a satirical view of the Scriptures is not necessary for her to have an esoteric accuracy.

I recommend this book to those Who are interested in the Bible and are able to laugh at themselves and the foibles of ancient believers as well as modern Christians.

5 Stars

41 of 43 people found this review helpful

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  • Danielle
  • 2015-08-23

Hilarious, irreverent, but on the money

I haven't laughed this hard at a book in my entire life. It sums up the Bible fairly well, with profanity and hilarity. I would (and have) recommend(ed) this book to anyone, with a small disclaimer -- you need to not be uptight about your religion. If you have no ability to find humor in it, you will not appreciate this book. For example, one of the lines reads: "The whole ancient world was a bag of dicks. Even God was a bit of a dick." If you can't handle that, this book is not for you.

My only critique is that I wish the chapters were just the teensiest bit longer. It wouldn't have detracted from the purpose of the book, in my opinion, which was to summarize/explain a hugely difficult book into something manageable and understandable. I also think that the author's note, which came at the end of the book, would have been great at the beginning because it explains his intent, his misgivings, and the positive reception of the book by nuns and priests. I would maybe even recommend that readers check that part out first. Either way, this book is fantastic!!

21 of 22 people found this review helpful

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  • Susie
  • 2014-08-04

Funny as Sin

The story of God's dysfunctional relationship with his chosen people.

"Like most marriages, it was a non-sexual affair, but unlike most marriages, it was anything but snoozy and passionless. God's marriage to the Jews was a tempestuous, rancorous affair."

The deadpan, impeccable comedic timing of James Urbaniac had me literally laughing out loud as I listened.

After years of research and translation to pithy modern language,
​the authors point out that although so many people are saturated in Bible stories, few remember the absolute zaniness that goes on inside.

​If you love the Bible or you love a good Bible satire, it’s just as satisfying. ​

52 of 56 people found this review helpful

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  • Me & My Girls
  • 2014-07-29

A New Bible

This is an highly inventive and enjoyable way to look at biblical literature. While humorous and irreverent it is also respectful and actually more informative than you would think. I'm recommending this one as both entertainment and a tutorial.

41 of 44 people found this review helpful

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  • Allen Moody
  • 2015-01-24

The Only Audio Book I Started Again Immediately

What made the experience of listening to God Is Disappointed in You the most enjoyable?

Funny, intellectually stimulating, irreverence on steroids.

What was one of the most memorable moments of God Is Disappointed in You?

When Mary and Joseph realized they had forgotten Jesus back at the Temple.

Have you listened to any of James Urbaniak’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

I liked how he sounded very Jewish.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

God is Disappointed in You

Any additional comments?

The only audio book where upon completion I immediately started again and I bought 10 copies for friends and family. I still read it daily.

30 of 33 people found this review helpful

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  • Pen Name
  • 2015-03-25

I have now read(heard) the Bible.

Reading from The Beginning, pun intended, I was never able to make it much further than Genesis. Thanks to the authors, and a great performance from the narrator, I was able to finish the Bible in less than six hours. I will be revisiting this one. The trip was enjoyable since the fluff had been meticulously wrung out and replaced with equal parts sarcasm and accuracy. If a reading of the Bible doesn't contain the phrase "tip slip", it's just not worth my time.

20 of 22 people found this review helpful

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  • courtney
  • 2015-03-18

Very Fresh and Funny

This is an easy listen and incredibly enjoyable. Perhaps condensing so far steals a bit of nuance from the stories, but the essence is there and hilarious.

13 of 14 people found this review helpful

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  • Green Mtns
  • 2014-10-12

Hilarious!

What did you love best about God Is Disappointed in You?

A hilarious retelling of the bible, updated for the 21rst century.

What did you like best about this story?

Perfect for those of us who have never read the bible, nor had any inclination to.

16 of 18 people found this review helpful

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  • Kim
  • 2015-05-28

I Would Go to This Church!

If sermons were written like this, churches would be filled to capacity on Sundays! This book reminds me of Lamb (by Christopher Moore) which is one of my all time favorites; I loved the way they condensed the books of the bible into hilarious little chunks that even a heathen like me can understand and appreciate. I can't say it gave me a lot of hope for humanity but my outlook was grim to start with so no harm done there. This should be required reading for non-believers just so they know what it is they are not believing in; I know it certainly educated and entertained me. The narration was perfection times 10 - a match made in heaven (pun totally intended). I give this one 5 stars for making me laugh and think at the same time without realizing it. I will be listening to it again the next time I need an attitude adjustment.

10 of 11 people found this review helpful

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  • Peggy Marshall
  • 2015-04-04

Wish everyone would read it!!!!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes I would. If the Bible had originally been written this way, I think we would be much closer to world peace.

Who was your favorite character and why?

The narrator.

Which character – as performed by James Urbaniak – was your favorite?

All of them.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

It made me chuckle and more than a few times go "Ahah, I wondered what that meant"

Any additional comments?

I have tried several times reading the bible from the beginning and ended up just using it to help me overcome insomnia. (Never made it past Genesis). Even the Bible verses I learned in Sunday School, I understand much better now. I think it's a shame so many religious leaders and pious zealots pick and choose only the verses they can interpret to promote their own narrow minded beliefs and claim it to be The Truth".

10 of 12 people found this review helpful