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  • How to Be Yourself

  • Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety
  • Written by: Ellen Hendriksen
  • Narrated by: Ellen Hendriksen
  • Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (202 ratings)

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How to Be Yourself

Written by: Ellen Hendriksen
Narrated by: Ellen Hendriksen
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Publisher's Summary

How to Be Yourself is the best audiobook you'll ever listen to about how to conquer social anxiety.

"...a groundbreaking road map to finally being your true, authentic self." - Susan Cain, New York Times and USA Today best-selling author of Quiet

Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you're introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure.

If you get nervous in social situations - meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss - you've probably been told, "Just be yourself!" But that's easier said than done - especially if you're prone to social anxiety.

Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has.

With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the listener through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and - at long last - exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, "Everyone will judge you." Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2018 Ellen Hendriksen (P)2018 Macmillan Audio

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What listeners say about How to Be Yourself

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Extremely relatable, encouraging, and helpful

Ellen Hedrickson knows her stuff and lays it out in a way we can easily understand. She explains the psychological standpoint of where our anxiety stems, where it should be, and tricks to get there. My favorite thing about this book is that she helps you begin the journey of being yourself, starting from what mindset you need, to facing your smallest, social anxiety ridden fears, to finally putting yourself out there. Thanks to this audiobook, I am actually much more comfortable in social situations, and for me, that is quite an accomplishment.

9 people found this helpful

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Good book but narration caused distraction

This book has some great tips on how to change your perspective with social anxiety. My issue was the narration. I found it was like a children’s book being read and I couldn’t stay focused since every sentence was performed the same way. Worth the listen but it was the only book I’ve had to go back multiple times cause I unintentionally tuned out because of the of the repetitive inflection in the narration.

4 people found this helpful

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absolutely amazing

This book is phenomenal and really digs deep into the reasons and remedies of self sabotaging behaviors that we develop as we age .
The narrator had a great sense of delivering ideas with proper tone and emphasis.
This book has literally changed something inside me that was bothering me for a long long while.
On my second read and will read it once more to absorb all of the ideas.
Definitely recommend to almost everyone having negative mindsets

4 people found this helpful

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If you have Social Anxiety, this book is for you.

After listening to this book I knew didn't have social anxiety, but got a better understanding, and the root causes of it. Though I do consider myself as an introvert/quiet person, Ellen's advice she shares throughout this book, her clients' anecdotes on how they relieved this anxiety has helped me express my thoughts more (to others) and to increase my inner circle. Highly recommend to anyone suffering from it.

3 people found this helpful

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Kind Voice, Helpful Words

I loved this book! I was soothed by Ellen Hendrickson‘s calm and knowledgable voice, as she went through easily comprehensible and applicable steps to managing my social anxiety. Each chapter surprised me, as they explained my personal situations perfectly. I was even more shocked when the chapter on perfectionism used my name as Hendricksen’s patient (I don’t hear “Vivian” too often). It felt like a personal call out – especially because my biggest personal anxiety trait is perfectionism.

When the book came to an end I honestly thought to myself, “I’m going to miss this book.” I will listen again and take physical notes, so I can review them and apply them to my life.

2 people found this helpful

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I loved it

Ellen really nailed it. It was interesting to hear that most people feel anxious, and it is the practice that makes anxiety fade away slowly. It was one of the take away from first time listening.

Thank you Ellen for this creation.

2 people found this helpful

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Amazing book

The author has a great voice she is very engaging. Highly recommend this book for anybody who suffers from anxiety. This will absolutely set you on the right path.

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  • Kim
  • 2019-05-14

Very relatable and beautifully distilled tactics


This book was very uplifting. I was drawn to it based on the title of "How to be yourself" without even fully grasping how much of my own life experience has been routed in social anxiety. This book helped me come to the realization with self compassion, and has left me with a slew of manageable tactics to implement in my daily life.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Kim
  • 2020-11-16

Uplifting

This book was a perfect reminder of how and what to do, to be a better you. Narration was entertaining and light. I recommend!!

1 person found this helpful

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Complete guide to Be Yourself!

This book surprised me with how good it is at helping and guiding me towards an happier life. It gives a lot of tips about a wide variety of struggles. It talks about a lot of researches and facts, not just about anecdots. It's a complete guide, and I have learned many tools regarding my social anxiety. I come out of this as a more confident and less stressed person. People around me already sees a difference. Thank you

1 person found this helpful

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  • Lisa
  • 2018-05-22

"Life" Changing

First off, I don't write reviews. I don't have the time. But the audio version of this book has made me such a braver, better person, I felt compelled to add a review so it might help someone else like me. For once, I'm not afraid and I feel like I'm living and not just going through the motions. I chose this book because of the title. I do feel like a fake most of the time. Always saying or acting the way I think others would expect me too. I remember my Mom being hyper aware of how others viewed her and her family and I picked up on that and didn't even realize. I didn't know I had social anxiety, but every example in this book sounded like me. I don't sleep well because I'll wake up in the middle of the night replaying things I did during the day. Things I could have done or said better than I did. And then the stress kicks in and the next thing I know I've laid awake for two hours pondering something that should have not been given a second thought. This book made me aware of what I was doing and I am falling back asleep quicker than ever before. It also gave me several different tools to help overcome my negative thoughts. And for once, it's not unrealistic tools that don't work. For once, they are working. Now when I start to replay a scenario, I think about Ellen's "movie theatre" scenario. And if that doesn't work. I put my inner critic on trial. A bonus was her chapter on "how to make friends." I've always avoided relationships for fear that someone would find out I'm not who I really am. But now I feel compelled to connect with someone on a friendship level. I highly recommend purchasing the audio version of this book. Ellen does a phenomenal job narrating and I honestly feel like I was sitting in her office at times. But instead of paying $$$ for a therapy session, I got so much more by purchasing this book. If you ever feel awkward in any type of social situation, you must read/listen to the book. It's a game/life changer.

74 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2018-08-25

Best book on social anxiety I have come across!

loved it!! I came across this book at a very difficult time in my life. I have suffered from anxiety for 18yrs. That combined with hard situations in life I was at a very lost point. The stories in this book felt familiar and the lessons and advise felt real and tangible. I have started applying things I have learned in this book to the way I do and handle things and for the first time in a long time I truly feel better. I am not cured but after this book I feel more determined to learn more, live more and figure out how to work with who I am so I can finally live my best life. If you have Social Anxiety, read this book!!! Or listen to this book, just get it in asap so you can start your healing process.. I'm on my way and this book was a clear starting point for me!

37 people found this helpful

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  • Abed
  • 2019-01-14

Life-changing

I have always struggled with having a conversation, even with the closest people in my life. Funny enough, the only people I am quite confident talking to are my brother and sister who I have spent a lot of time with. But, yes, I fumble through conversations, trying to speak the right words and in the process sound gibberish.. which makes me more anxious and sweaty and freaked out. This book has literally pushed me out of my comfort zone and into what I dread the most, conversations. Midway through this book, I walked out of my room and struck a conversation with a student sitting in the lounge. I cared not how awkward I looked. It was the most eye opening, genuine conversation I have ever had in a long, long while. I can't wait to meet new people and challenge myself in the very situations that limited me in the past(rather it's I who limited myself)... As a matter of fact, I came out of it feeling AWESOME! I highly recommend this audiobook to anyone who has faced social anxiety in their life for whatever reasons. I would have loved to highlight my reasons for my anxiety now but I am learning as the day goes by. I will update this comment accordingly when I have established those reasons sufficiently.

28 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2018-05-09

Lots of filling

The useful information can be summed up in 2 pages but of course you need 200 pages to publish a book.

I recommend you to google "social anxiety treatment" and any of the first websites sums up all the useful information presented in this book

20 people found this helpful

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  • Katrina
  • 2018-06-06

Enjoyable listen about social anxiety

Just want to start off this review in response to a couple other reviews. I’m not too sure why they put that this book is trying to change introverts into extroverts, but there is a whole section on the difference between introversion and social anxiety and how being an introvert affects your social anxiety. The author even says she doesn’t want to change who you are as a person. She wants to help you overcome your anxiety.

This book was really eye opening in the sense of how many other people in this world have social anxiety. The author has great examples and some good suggestions to slowly challenge yourself to help overcome being anxious by confronting the problem head on and I look forward to trying them out. I would definitely recommend this book!

18 people found this helpful

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  • Margaret Gill
  • 2020-02-25

Best book on Social Anxiety ever!

This is by far the best book on Social Anxiety I have ever come across, and I’ve read quite a few! As someone with both a degree in Clinical Psychology and somebody who has dealt with Social Anxiety herself, I found this to be both enlightening and full of useful and practical advice.

11 people found this helpful

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  • Oliver
  • 2020-02-05

dreadful narration

This may have been a good gook but after suffering through the first 20 min I had to give the book back due to the terribly annoying piercing voice of the narrator who happens to be the author.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Kerry Young
  • 2018-07-30

Exactly what I needed

I’ve read several books on social anxiety, but of all of them, this one feels like it was written just for me. Ellen Hendriksen gets it. If you have social anxiety I highly highly recommend reading this book.

Before buying the book I read some comments about the author wanting to change introverts but that’s just not the case at all. I even looked for any indication that that’s what she was doing but couldn’t find it. I’m not quite sure where those comments are coming from so please don’t let that keep you from giving this book a shot.

Mrs. Hendriksen, thank you for writing this book. It’s everything I needed to hear and changed the way I looked at many things. Every chapter was perfect but the final chapter on popularity really struck me. I’m 37 and am not as concerned with popularity as I was when I was 16 years old but I teared up during that chapter. I’m planning to share it with my two children as, even in elementary school, popularity is already a concern.

9 people found this helpful

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  • Ashley Sackett
  • 2018-12-23

Thank You

Thank you, Ellen Hendrikson, and all those involved in creating this book. I am a hopeless victim of social anxiety...or at least, I thought I was before listening to this book. Because of “How to Be Yourself” I am on a path that I believe is leading me to a much happier life in the midst of people. I am making progress with overcoming my anxiety daily, and even helping others who are stricken with social anxiety to overcome their difficulties too. I have recommended this book to many friends and family members, and now I highly recommended it to anyone with social anxiety who is reading this review.
Thank you for an enjoyable listen and educationally steeped journey through the biggest challenge of my life! I am excited by the opportunity to go out and try my skills at socializing more and more, with each experience.

Life changing, wonderful book!

-Ashley Sackett

7 people found this helpful

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  • Linda
  • 2018-12-03

could not listen to the whole audio! so boring!

the audio book was so boring and unrelatable. the stories and the wau it was told was unbearably boring. The narrator voice was horrible. very disappointed

7 people found this helpful

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  • Francois COQUELLE
  • 2022-09-28

Revealing

Loved it so much! It definitely resonates with my own experience of social anxiety. Can't recommend it enough.

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  • Simona Chladkova
  • 2020-09-18

Amazing book

Congratulations to the author on an excellent book! I love it and find it very interesting and useful. I have learned many things about myself by listening to this audio book and huge thank you for all the useful information and practical tips! 🙏