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How to Be Yourself

Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety
Written by: Ellen Hendriksen
Narrated by: Ellen Hendriksen
Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
4.7 out of 5 stars (96 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

How to Be Yourself is the best audiobook you'll ever listen to about how to conquer social anxiety.

"...a groundbreaking road map to finally being your true, authentic self." - Susan Cain, New York Times and USA Today best-selling author of Quiet

Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you're introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure.

If you get nervous in social situations - meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss - you've probably been told, "Just be yourself!" But that's easier said than done - especially if you're prone to social anxiety.

Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has.

With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the listener through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and - at long last - exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, "Everyone will judge you." Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2018 Ellen Hendriksen (P)2018 Macmillan Audio

What listeners say about How to Be Yourself

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    5 out of 5 stars

Extremely relatable, encouraging, and helpful

Ellen Hedrickson knows her stuff and lays it out in a way we can easily understand. She explains the psychological standpoint of where our anxiety stems, where it should be, and tricks to get there. My favorite thing about this book is that she helps you begin the journey of being yourself, starting from what mindset you need, to facing your smallest, social anxiety ridden fears, to finally putting yourself out there. Thanks to this audiobook, I am actually much more comfortable in social situations, and for me, that is quite an accomplishment.

9 people found this helpful

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absolutely amazing

This book is phenomenal and really digs deep into the reasons and remedies of self sabotaging behaviors that we develop as we age . The narrator had a great sense of delivering ideas with proper tone and emphasis. This book has literally changed something inside me that was bothering me for a long long while. On my second read and will read it once more to absorb all of the ideas. Definitely recommend to almost everyone having negative mindsets

3 people found this helpful

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Kind Voice, Helpful Words

I loved this book! I was soothed by Ellen Hendrickson‘s calm and knowledgable voice, as she went through easily comprehensible and applicable steps to managing my social anxiety. Each chapter surprised me, as they explained my personal situations perfectly. I was even more shocked when the chapter on perfectionism used my name as Hendricksen’s patient (I don’t hear “Vivian” too often). It felt like a personal call out – especially because my biggest personal anxiety trait is perfectionism. When the book came to an end I honestly thought to myself, “I’m going to miss this book.” I will listen again and take physical notes, so I can review them and apply them to my life.

2 people found this helpful

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If you have Social Anxiety, this book is for you.

After listening to this book I knew didn't have social anxiety, but got a better understanding, and the root causes of it. Though I do consider myself as an introvert/quiet person, Ellen's advice she shares throughout this book, her clients' anecdotes on how they relieved this anxiety has helped me express my thoughts more (to others) and to increase my inner circle. Highly recommend to anyone suffering from it.

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Amazing book

The author has a great voice she is very engaging. Highly recommend this book for anybody who suffers from anxiety. This will absolutely set you on the right path.

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  • Kim
  • 2019-05-14

Very relatable and beautifully distilled tactics

This book was very uplifting. I was drawn to it based on the title of "How to be yourself" without even fully grasping how much of my own life experience has been routed in social anxiety. This book helped me come to the realization with self compassion, and has left me with a slew of manageable tactics to implement in my daily life.

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Complete guide to Be Yourself!

This book surprised me with how good it is at helping and guiding me towards an happier life. It gives a lot of tips about a wide variety of struggles. It talks about a lot of researches and facts, not just about anecdots. It's a complete guide, and I have learned many tools regarding my social anxiety. I come out of this as a more confident and less stressed person. People around me already sees a difference. Thank you

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I loved it

Ellen really nailed it. It was interesting to hear that most people feel anxious, and it is the practice that makes anxiety fade away slowly. It was one of the take away from first time listening. Thank you Ellen for this creation.

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whole book needs Bookmarks.

simplest book i have ever read. its so easy and almost everything seems for me personally. its like im listening my story but what shoud i do better next than what i am wasting now and in future. best one

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2018-08-25

Best book on social anxiety I have come across!

loved it!! I came across this book at a very difficult time in my life. I have suffered from anxiety for 18yrs. That combined with hard situations in life I was at a very lost point. The stories in this book felt familiar and the lessons and advise felt real and tangible. I have started applying things I have learned in this book to the way I do and handle things and for the first time in a long time I truly feel better. I am not cured but after this book I feel more determined to learn more, live more and figure out how to work with who I am so I can finally live my best life. If you have Social Anxiety, read this book!!! Or listen to this book, just get it in asap so you can start your healing process.. I'm on my way and this book was a clear starting point for me!

18 people found this helpful

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  • Abed
  • 2019-01-14

Life-changing

I have always struggled with having a conversation, even with the closest people in my life. Funny enough, the only people I am quite confident talking to are my brother and sister who I have spent a lot of time with. But, yes, I fumble through conversations, trying to speak the right words and in the process sound gibberish.. which makes me more anxious and sweaty and freaked out. This book has literally pushed me out of my comfort zone and into what I dread the most, conversations. Midway through this book, I walked out of my room and struck a conversation with a student sitting in the lounge. I cared not how awkward I looked. It was the most eye opening, genuine conversation I have ever had in a long, long while. I can't wait to meet new people and challenge myself in the very situations that limited me in the past(rather it's I who limited myself)... As a matter of fact, I came out of it feeling AWESOME! I highly recommend this audiobook to anyone who has faced social anxiety in their life for whatever reasons. I would have loved to highlight my reasons for my anxiety now but I am learning as the day goes by. I will update this comment accordingly when I have established those reasons sufficiently.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Lisa
  • 2018-05-22

"Life" Changing

First off, I don't write reviews. I don't have the time. But the audio version of this book has made me such a braver, better person, I felt compelled to add a review so it might help someone else like me. For once, I'm not afraid and I feel like I'm living and not just going through the motions. I chose this book because of the title. I do feel like a fake most of the time. Always saying or acting the way I think others would expect me too. I remember my Mom being hyper aware of how others viewed her and her family and I picked up on that and didn't even realize. I didn't know I had social anxiety, but every example in this book sounded like me. I don't sleep well because I'll wake up in the middle of the night replaying things I did during the day. Things I could have done or said better than I did. And then the stress kicks in and the next thing I know I've laid awake for two hours pondering something that should have not been given a second thought. This book made me aware of what I was doing and I am falling back asleep quicker than ever before. It also gave me several different tools to help overcome my negative thoughts. And for once, it's not unrealistic tools that don't work. For once, they are working. Now when I start to replay a scenario, I think about Ellen's "movie theatre" scenario. And if that doesn't work. I put my inner critic on trial. A bonus was her chapter on "how to make friends." I've always avoided relationships for fear that someone would find out I'm not who I really am. But now I feel compelled to connect with someone on a friendship level. I highly recommend purchasing the audio version of this book. Ellen does a phenomenal job narrating and I honestly feel like I was sitting in her office at times. But instead of paying $$$ for a therapy session, I got so much more by purchasing this book. If you ever feel awkward in any type of social situation, you must read/listen to the book. It's a game/life changer.

47 people found this helpful

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  • Katrina
  • 2018-06-06

Enjoyable listen about social anxiety

Just want to start off this review in response to a couple other reviews. I’m not too sure why they put that this book is trying to change introverts into extroverts, but there is a whole section on the difference between introversion and social anxiety and how being an introvert affects your social anxiety. The author even says she doesn’t want to change who you are as a person. She wants to help you overcome your anxiety. This book was really eye opening in the sense of how many other people in this world have social anxiety. The author has great examples and some good suggestions to slowly challenge yourself to help overcome being anxious by confronting the problem head on and I look forward to trying them out. I would definitely recommend this book!

6 people found this helpful

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  • Kerry Young
  • 2018-07-30

Exactly what I needed

I’ve read several books on social anxiety, but of all of them, this one feels like it was written just for me. Ellen Hendriksen gets it. If you have social anxiety I highly highly recommend reading this book. Before buying the book I read some comments about the author wanting to change introverts but that’s just not the case at all. I even looked for any indication that that’s what she was doing but couldn’t find it. I’m not quite sure where those comments are coming from so please don’t let that keep you from giving this book a shot. Mrs. Hendriksen, thank you for writing this book. It’s everything I needed to hear and changed the way I looked at many things. Every chapter was perfect but the final chapter on popularity really struck me. I’m 37 and am not as concerned with popularity as I was when I was 16 years old but I teared up during that chapter. I’m planning to share it with my two children as, even in elementary school, popularity is already a concern.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Ashley Sackett
  • 2018-12-23

Thank You

Thank you, Ellen Hendrikson, and all those involved in creating this book. I am a hopeless victim of social anxiety...or at least, I thought I was before listening to this book. Because of “How to Be Yourself” I am on a path that I believe is leading me to a much happier life in the midst of people. I am making progress with overcoming my anxiety daily, and even helping others who are stricken with social anxiety to overcome their difficulties too. I have recommended this book to many friends and family members, and now I highly recommended it to anyone with social anxiety who is reading this review. Thank you for an enjoyable listen and educationally steeped journey through the biggest challenge of my life! I am excited by the opportunity to go out and try my skills at socializing more and more, with each experience. Life changing, wonderful book! -Ashley Sackett

3 people found this helpful

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  • Yasmin Morrison
  • 2018-11-28

Life-changing Book

This is the real deal. I've struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I've read countless other books about confidence and social skills, and they were only band-aids that never got to the root of the issue. This one is different. I couldn't put it down -- it was exactly what I needed to understand where my fears come from and how to overcome them. I'm actually *excited* to try things that would have made me cringe before. If you struggle with social anxiety, please read this!

3 people found this helpful

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  • K. Miller
  • 2018-08-25

Just be you- just be kind

This book was easy to listen too with many helpful tips on how to be yourself

3 people found this helpful

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  • KMF
  • 2020-02-15

Would Recommend

Overall good info. Easy to follow. Didn't care for the voice at times, but certainly not the worst. Would recommend to anyone looking to improve self esteem.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Velia Palma
  • 2018-06-24

Thank you! Perspective shifter

I can't explain the impact of this book on me in words but I know it is great and I know it is life changing. A door into being confident and controling my social anxiety has been opened and it has never seemed more doable than now to walk through it.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Simona Chladkova
  • 2020-09-18

Amazing book

Congratulations to the author on an excellent book! I love it and find it very interesting and useful. I have learned many things about myself by listening to this audio book and huge thank you for all the useful information and practical tips! 🙏