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  • How to Be an Adult in Love

  • Letting Love in Safely and Showing It Recklessly
  • Written by: David Richo
  • Narrated by: Tom Pile
  • Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (28 ratings)

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How to Be an Adult in Love

Written by: David Richo
Narrated by: Tom Pile
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Publisher's Summary

"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this audiobook, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships - one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts - what Richo calls the five A's - form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

©2013 David Richo (P)2014 Audible Inc.

What listeners say about How to Be an Adult in Love

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

LONG, SLOW, Drawn-out Discourse on Mindful Kindness

This is a LONG and very, VERY SLOW audiobook.

I normally have my audiobooks a little faster than the recording speed, but this one I consistently had at 1.7X or 2.0x and found myself just wanting to get through.

No doubt there is some value here, but I think they could have cut it by a full 2/3rd.

If you’re trying to deal with narcissistic tendencies, the mere act of getting through the material is an achievement on its own. And maybe that’s partly the intent of the author: it’s truly an effort to put aside one’s ego to complete the book - succeed at this and there is real hope for the most highly narcissistic.

The 5 A’s - Attention, Allowance, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection - is an interesting concept I learned.

But would have to say this read is targeted toward someone with the time and intent for a deep, slow dive into the subject.

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    3 out of 5 stars

Intro. to loving mindfully.

David Richo tends to build on existing theories of mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy without actually acknowledging it. As I try to practice mindful living and cognitive behavioural therapy it was possible for me to pick up on the references and significance.

The book will be of tremendous value to anyone seeking to build on their existing mindful living practisies. However, will not recommend to anyone who is still a novice or just getting started with mindful living practices and cognitive behavioural therapy. Will highly recommended Dr. David Burn’s Intimate Connections as a helpful pre-requisite.

Don’t get me wrong. Learned a lot. Already starting to apply the principals to my daily life. An excellent book.

Also, will advice caution for anyone with a trauma history as parts of it can be very dense, thought invoking and triggering past memories.

#Audible1

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  • RH
  • 2016-10-29

The hardcopy version would be better

I bought this book based on the positive reviews I have read. For me the book was not optimal in the audio version. It would be better to go slow, look back, and focus more on the concepts presented which is easier to do in an actual physical book with pages.The information presented is beautiful and would certainly help any person be a better person. I just don't think the audiobook is the right format

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14 people found this helpful

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  • bricheez
  • 2017-10-26

The narrator ruins the content in the audio format

The over-emphatic presentation of the content was too distracting to be able to process the content. I couldn't make it through the 1st chapter.

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10 people found this helpful

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  • Undertheinfluence
  • 2020-09-06

Skip this

I really wanted to like this. The narration was so syrupy that try as I might I could not push through it. It may be a great book but I could not get past the Mr. Rogers delivery. I get that it’s a book about love but it appears there can be a medium between mush and education.

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9 people found this helpful

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  • David Mcclish
  • 2016-01-05

Enlightening and applicable

Amazing book. With the help of this audiobook I've realized my immaturity and have taken steps to address my level of giving, receiving and loving as an adult

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7 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Mary Beth Alban
  • 2016-09-09

This book has left me feeling like I will be a better person.

So much inspiration in this book, to live better, to love and be loved better, and to extend this love to anyone I relate to. This helps me be a better Franciscan and I can pass along the love wisdom that Dave Richo has taught me here.
Thanks, Dave!

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6 people found this helpful

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  • Paul Bunker
  • 2016-05-14

Life changer! This is a top 10 list for sure!

Very accurate! Very helpful! Take the time to listen and take notes... You WILL learn life changing, valuable information from this audio book!

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6 people found this helpful

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  • Josh A.
  • 2017-03-09

Love, and life. Change.

Listen to this book if you feel deep down inside that you need a guide to how to center your feelings on love, and it's role in your life - in a centered, pragmatic, and reasonable way. Super book. Well worth your time - going to re-listen, and this time take notes. Should be taught in college.

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4 people found this helpful

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  • Nico
  • 2018-08-06

Solid book

I really enjoyed the message behind this book. There always seems to be a bit of religious context to books like this, but I feel like the author did a good job staying away from merging his beliefs into the general message.

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  • T
  • 2016-12-22

Tom Pile'a narration aggravating

Listening to the narrator on headphones is literally painful. Every time he pronounces any words that contain the letter "S" it sounds like sheering chalk against a chalkboard. I swear the audio is peaking on all his S's.

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  • Carlos A.
  • 2017-04-13

Worst narrator

The content is great, but the narrator ruins it for me. He has a very soft voice. He's talking me to sleep. All of his "S" sounds are over emphasized.

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2 people found this helpful