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How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair

A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful
Written by: Linda J. MacDonald
Narrated by: Tamara Marston
Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (9 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Once an affair comes to light, many unfaithful persons "wake up" and want to save their marriages. Yet they usually make terrible mistakes in their bungled attempts to win back their partners' trust. Linda J. MacDonald, an infidelity specialist for 23 years, has identified behaviors and attitudes that determine unfaithful persons' success or failure to mend their marriages after the wrecking ball of an affair. How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair offers practical advice for those who've strayed and want a second chance.

It would take weeks of therapy to learn what Successful Rebuilders know:

  • How to avoid the potholes that doom marriages after affairs
  • Critical guidelines for the first hours after discovery
  • Fifteen essential steps for repair after betrayal
  • Skills to cope with your partner's obsessions and "triggers"
  • Ways to undo the damage from your lies
  • The keys to avoid prolonging your spouse's agony (and yours)
  • The difference between helpful and harmful apologies
  • How to rebuild your broken life, relationships, and integrity

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.

©2010 Linda J. MacDonald (P)2013 Podium Publishing

What the critics say

"I regularly provide copies of Linda's book to my clients who are facing this challenge. Unanimously they report, 'That [book] was very helpful.'" (Earl D. Wilson, PhD., author Steering Clear, and Restoring the Fallen)
"This is the most succinct collection of wisdom for helping the unfaithful that I have seen for couples trying to pick up the pieces of their lives after affairs." (Lance Brown, M.A., Minister of Care, Chapel Hill Presbyterian)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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A good step to learning

This allowed for a greater understanding of what is required for an unfaithful spouse to help promote healing in the betrayed spouse. A good step forward and many more to come.

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  • Jamie
  • 2016-04-21

great book, very helpful!

I found out about my husband's infidelity around 6 months ago from the first woman and 5 months ago from the second. Since that time he has done little to prove he has changed and is remorseful but has been very adamant that he's done everything he could. This book normalized my feelings and the happenings currently going on in our marriage. I'm hoping that he will listen and take some pointers too. Thank you for this book

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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  • Kimberly Frampton
  • 2015-10-16

This is my life.

This audiobook described every ounce of emotion I was feeling after being cheated on. It felt like the author's words were mine. Give this to the person that betrayed you. The earlier the better...before he/she digs an even deeper hole that he/she can't get out of.

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • DT
  • 2015-12-22

Every unfaithful needs to read this

very short and to the point. Very helpful short reasonable requests to help your betrayed heal. Excellent book overall and very recommended for anyone trying to repair and move on.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • KP
  • 2016-08-12

THE Text Book on how to rebuild

Wether you are the offended or the offender OR if you are tempted to be unfaithful this book must be read or listened to. I woke up this morning and listened, took notes and it changed my mind/perspective on how I saw the events that shaped my life.

6 of 7 people found this review helpful

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  • Jennis
  • 2016-08-02

good content for embarrassing subject matter

If you're reading this book it isn't because life is showing you it's grandest possibilities full of hope and goodness. This is a MUST READ for anyone going through the lowest lows in life by experiencing an affair. I was the cheated on spouse and it helped to know from a professional what the healing process should look like. it will be hard to hear if your the cheater, but if you want to save your marriage, or relationship it's a critical read to show you the path to recovery.

6 of 7 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2017-05-29

Reality is difficult at...

While I was listening to this book it was hard to hear the truth of the reality of the damage I caused. But it was helpful to know an hear how to help my spouse to heal from my selfish choices. This is a book that will help the new spouses that caused the hurt and damage to the other realize that the process is going to be a long time and hurt an painful. During that it is going to be worth the out come that can come if you do what is authentic to you an your spouse. Get this book!!!!!!!!!!!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • John W. Miller
  • 2018-10-16

Extremely Judgemental

The author of this book, early on, lumps viewing pornography, voyerism, and homosexuality in with molesting children and those people need to seek help from a sex addicts counselor. Quite the contrasting behaviors, not to mention there is no recognized, at this time, "sexual addiction." The DSM and AASECT do not recognize "sex addiction."

I felt put down, humiliated, and judged by a person that is a supposed therapist. A good therapist does not judge or humiliate. Unfortunately, even if this author had any good advice, I was shut down and not listening.

As stated in other reviews, the author is biased and should have left her religion at the door. I, too, am Christian, but when publishing a book such as this, one must write it objectively.

Don't waste money on this book. Find a good, objective counselor.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Charise De Barros
  • 2017-04-19

The topic speaks for itself

I read this book as the hurt spouse to see if these are things I'd like to hear from my spouse and it was very good advice. I needed to know if I had unreasonable expectations from him. I recommend this for anyone dealing with this topic to get it sooner than later. Maybe even before the bomb drops to avoid as much damage as possible from the get go. If you did wrong this is a good start to try and pick up the broken pieces.

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  • Susan Goodis
  • 2017-04-04

essential reading for both parties

this book hit the nail on the head. the sooner you read it, the better the possibility to avoid serious mistakes and salvage the marriage.





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  • Peppertaz
  • 2017-03-04

Very Helpful

I was so glad my husband listened to this book. After he told me about his affairs with prostitutes I was devastated and this book depicted how I was feeling to a T! She hits on everything I was thinking and feeling and even though I might have expressed this to my husband I think it helped him understand just how devastated I feel and gave him some insight knowing this is normal. Over all it helped me know he "heard" it but he never really GOT IT in the end so we divorced but maybe for couples that don't have a narcissistic sociopath for a spouse you'll have better luck healing.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful