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I Can't Date Jesus

Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I've Put My Faith in Beyoncé
Written by: Michael Arceneaux
Narrated by: Michael Arceneaux
Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (7 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

In the style of New York Times best sellers You Can’t Touch My Hair, Bad Feminist, and I’m Judging You, a timely collection of alternately hysterical and soul‑searching essays about what it is like to grow up as a creative, sensitive black man in a world that constantly tries to deride and diminish your humanity.

It hasn’t been easy being Michael Arceneaux.

Equality for LGBTQ people has come a long way and all, but voices of persons of color within the community are still often silenced, and being Black in America is...well, have you watched the news?

With the characteristic wit and candor that have made him one of today’s boldest writers on social issues, I Can’t Date Jesus is Michael Arceneaux’s impassioned, forthright, and refreshing look at minority life in today’s America. Leaving no bigoted or ignorant stone unturned, he describes his journey in learning to embrace his identity when the world told him to do the opposite.

He eloquently writes about coming out to his mother; growing up in Houston, Texas; being approached for the priesthood; his obstacles in embracing intimacy that occasionally led to unfortunate fights with fire ants and maybe fleas; and the persistent challenges of young people who feel marginalized and denied the chance to pursue their dreams.

Perfect for fans of David Sedaris, Samantha Irby, and Phoebe Robinson, I Can’t Date Jesus tells us - without apologies - what it’s like to be outspoken and brave in a divisive world.

©2018 Michael Arceneaux. All rights reserved. (P)2018 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

What the critics say

"[A] witty and powerful collection of personal essays.... Arceneaux’s confident voice and unapologetic sense of humor will appeal to fans of Roxane Gay." (Publishers Weekly)

"Arceneaux's essays penetrate to the heart of intersectionality to reveal personal and religious trials of faith. Together, they make a powerful statement of self-acceptance in a world much in need of lessons about diversity, tolerance, and openness. A funny, fierce, and bold memoir in essays." (Kirkus Reviews)

"Hilarious...Arceneaux’s acerbic humor is reminiscent of the very best work of American humorist and author David Sedaris." (The Advocate)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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BEYHIVE

Thank you for sharing your story! All hail Queen Bey. This book really made me laugh, and also helped me gain perspective on the Black, gay male experience.

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  • Trey Strange
  • 2018-08-08

Everyone should read this

Honestly incredible. I’ve been following the expected release of this book since last year, and it did not disappoint. At all. The title essay, “I Can’t Date Jesus,” had me crying. I’m still crying. Arcenaux is raw and I afraid of himself, and we learn about his resilience navigating a complicated world of other people’s’ expectations. Read it, buy it again, share it with a friend.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Kimberly Hodges
  • Los Angeles, CA
  • 2018-08-05

what I've been looking for.

I've been searching for a book that is light, fun and funny, yet relevant. I listened to this in one day.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2019-03-19

Terrible reader.

While I enjoyed the content of the book to a degree, and laughed out loud a few times, Arceneaux is the worst audio book reader I have come across. In nearly every single sentence, he followed the exact same monotonous, bored sounding cadence. If it weren’t for my very long commute and the fact that I spent my hard-earned money on the book, I would NOT have finished listening to it. Ugh!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Anonymous User
  • 2018-10-05

ok

struggled to finish as I couldn't determine a joke from serious moment due to tone

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Michael
  • 2018-09-19

Poignant and Funny

This book made me laugh and it made me think. Unfortunately, the author’s self-admitted monotone and lack of dramatic skills detracted from the poignancy and humor. Better read than heard, I think.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Colleen Williams
  • 2018-08-04

Funny, authentic, view-changing

I really enjoyed listening to life experiences so different than my own. It was written with enough honesty and detail to allow me to really be able to see the authors view of the world.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Kindle Customer
  • Palm Beach, FL
  • 2018-08-04

So real and unapologetically Black.

This book was so lively and an amazing reflection on the author's thoughts and life. For as funny and snarky as he is, when it's get real it touches you. Some parts reminded me of my own childhood and it was sobering to know someone has had similar experiences

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Patricia Kemp
  • 2018-07-26

Great listen!

I loved listening to this book!!!! As a black, unmarried, childless, heterosexual woman from coastal Alabama with a very religious mother, I deeply identified with the authors struggles and musings on religion, relationships, intimacy, and talking to mama. This book both validated some of my own thoughts about all of those things , gave me some new things to consider, and also made me laugh. I really enjoyed this!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • KCT MAMA
  • 2018-10-04

Good story...terrible narration

I loved Michael’s story and the small peek into his life. I feel that someone else who is trained in or is used to narration would have done the reading justice.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Bryan
  • 2019-06-19

TMI! Brace yourself!

Love the open, frank at times, brash and blunt storytelling. Get them loans paid baby!