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  • I Forgot to Die

  • Written by: Khalil Rafati
  • Narrated by: Khalil Rafati
  • Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (113 ratings)

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I Forgot to Die cover art

I Forgot to Die

Written by: Khalil Rafati
Narrated by: Khalil Rafati
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Publisher's Summary

Khalil Rafati went to Los Angeles in the 1990s and had it all. He was working with Hollywood movie stars and legendary rock musicians, but it wasn't long before he found his way into the dark underbelly of the City of Angels.

When he hit rock bottom - addicted to heroin and cocaine, overtaken by paranoia and psychosis, written off by his friends and family - he grabbed a shovel and kept digging. At 33, Khalil was 109 pounds, a convicted felon, high school dropout, and homeless junkie living on the infamous Skid Row in downtown L.A.

So how does someone with nothing, who feels like they deserve nothing, and who just wants to end it all turn their life around?

I Forgot to Die is an incredible true story of pain, suffering, addiction, and redemption - and how one man ultimately conquered his demons and wrote himself a new life story.

©2015 Khalil Rafati (P)2017 Tantor

What listeners love about I Forgot to Die

Average Customer Ratings
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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars

it was ok...

As I said...it was ok. The guy may have gotten sober and did some good but he never got humble and that makes it hard to respect.

11 people found this helpful

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  • JV
  • 2020-08-24

Absolutely riveting.

One of my favorite audiobooks of the past few years, really can't recommend this enough.

4 people found this helpful

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Memoir

An incredible, heartbreaking, and moving story of a man coming back from the lowest a person can get. Occasionally the religious overtones are a bit heavy, but otherwise a very good listen.

4 people found this helpful

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ok...wow

I didnt think I was going to enjoy this book after the first chapter ... but it grew on me and didn't expect it to turn out like it did. good read.

3 people found this helpful

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Thank you!

In a time when the opioid crisis has taken so many of our loved ones, I wanna thank you Khalil for sharing your journey ...and helping us understand the unrelenting power of addiction and the confirmation of the power of love and recovery! I work in the mental health and substance use field, and so appreciate the Ronis you’ve shared. Thank you!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

loved it

finished it in a day. Couldn't stop listening! narration was great, story was even better

1 person found this helpful

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AMAZING

One of the best autobiography books I’ve listened to! Heart wrenching story of overcoming addiction.

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One man's descent into the hell. Of addiction

A fascinating delve into one man's descent into the hell of addition, what took him down that path and how he eventually found his way back to the land of the living. A book everyone should read/listen to.

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A very inspiring story

I couldn't stop listening to this book! The story just kept me gripped the whole time and I'm sad that it is over.

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  • JM
  • 2021-10-29

Incredible Story

Incredible story with insight into addictions, unbelievable struggles and eventual success and resilience - fascinating

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  • Courtney
  • 2017-05-25

Jails, Institutions & (almost) Death

Jails, Institutions and Death is a term oft recited by members of Narcotics Anonymous when describing the inevitable destination of a person in active addiction. I hungrily consume addiction memoirs in that way that people feel compelled to slow down and peer at a horrible accident. Some might think this is a character flaw, but I think of it more as a gratitude check--"There, but for the grace of God, go I".
"I Forgot to Die" doesn't disappoint. It is the story of a man who should be dead. It is the story of a man who wanted to die and tried to kill himself on the time payment plan of addiction.
Khalil Rafati tells a story that is sad, but not that unusual. His father was verbally and emotionally abusive, his mother was devoid of a spine and unable to defend him. His childhood home was a cold, unfriendly, unsafe place--the kind that often breeds psychopaths. Khalil was not a psychopath, in fact, he more resembles an empath in his account.
In his addiction, which was severe and life-threatening, he was abusive to the people closest to him, but that is true for most addicts. At other times, he expressed love and gratitude for the people in his life who reached out to help him. Some were enablers who only prolonged his nightmare, but others were angels of mercy.
All recovering addicts are miracles, but Khalil's story stands out. He was a boy, then a man who invested all of his energy in trying to be comfortable in his own skin. He distracted himself with drugs, women and money until there was nothing left but himself-barely alive and there he received the gift of despair and began the climb out of the grave he had dug for himself.
Ultimately, this is a story of pain, degradation and redemption. I would recommend it to anyone, but I think that addicts and their loved ones who read this book may gain insight, sympathy and most importantly, hope.

25 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2017-06-06

What a story!!!

I have read many addiction memoirs & this is by far the most intriguing, exciting, & helpful books I have ever read. I absolutely loved this story & believe many other people will to! I will most definitely be suggesting this to my friends and family. Truly AMAZING.

15 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Lindsay
  • 2017-12-15

No Christmas for junkies

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

Sure, because I don't regret the book, but I doubt I'll listen to it a second time.

Would you recommend I Forgot to Die to your friends? Why or why not?

I'd recommend the book to people struggling with addiction, or those who enjoy biographies/autobiographies about addiction. There were some religious undertones, but nothing too heavy, so that would also shape my recommendation too.

Any additional comments?

Typical story about overcoming addiction, but worth a read.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Vikki WillisAmazon Customer
  • 2017-06-04

Fantastic

Im a nurse and see addiction daily. Im also a believer in God and the straight n narrow!!!! Wonderful wonderful book.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Nick
  • 2017-06-02

Decent book.

While I respect Kahlil for finally getting clean, I think most people wouldn't have the same luxuries or resources he did to assist him in doing so. Most people don't have a Malibu nearby, loaded with rich people. Put Kahlil in South Philadelphia and I imagine his recovery story is a little different.

Oh, and that crap Robbie was spitting out near the end of the book is complete textbook BS. THAT was his sponsor?!?

9 people found this helpful

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  • Allyson Cotham
  • 2017-11-26

Authentic and real

It was pretty difficult to listen to the whole story as Khalil was going down into his spiral; listening to why and understanding and relating was heavy. I thank Khalil for sharing his story because in the end, as hard as it was to hear, he shared truth and beauty. Thanks Khalil.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Becky
  • 2017-11-20

Great story and ending

Overall well written, great narration (which for me can make or break a book), and cohesive story and journey to wellness. you wanted to to root for him. i would have liked even more graphic drug useage stories, b/c I am sure they were edited out possibly due to his new 'status' but it was good nonetheless

6 people found this helpful

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  • Lucas
  • 2017-08-02

awesome!!

great story. the fact that the author tells it makes a huge difference. It is incredibly moving all the way trough. it caught me in the first page!

6 people found this helpful

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  • Joseph
  • 2017-06-01

Amazing book

I love this book what a amazing man .. he is so inspiring .. some of stories made me cringe because I to see people throw there life away .. but I'm so glad that he got it together and the tools he used to get there .. i never did hard drugs or anything like that I would recommend this book to anyone suffering from depression and abandonment.. this book changed the way I think moving forward .. you just gotta learn to drop your story( all the bad stuff that happened to you ).

6 people found this helpful

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  • Tyler Wagner
  • 2017-06-26

Gangster

Best book I've ever listened to. Crazy story that everyone should hear. Rags to riches

5 people found this helpful