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  • If We Break

  • A Memoir of Marriage, Addiction, and Healing
  • Written by: Kathleen Buhle
  • Narrated by: Kathleen Buhle
  • Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (27 ratings)

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If We Break

Written by: Kathleen Buhle
Narrated by: Kathleen Buhle
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Publisher's Summary

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • Kathleen Buhle shares her story of resilience and self-discovery after her marriage to Hunter Biden unraveled in the wake of substance abuse and infidelity in this “dignified and revealing” (People) memoir.

“Kathleen Buhle’s brave and honest story transcends politics, division, hearsay, and judgment.”—Connie Britton

This is not a story about good versus evil. Or who was right. Or who was better. For decades, Kathleen Buhle chose to play the role of the good wife, beginning when, as a naïve young woman from a working-class family on the South Side of Chicago, she met the dashing son of a senator at the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in Oregon. Within months of falling in love, Kathleen found herself pregnant and engaged, living a life beyond anything she’d ever known.

Determined to build her family on a foundation of love, Kathleen was convinced her and Hunter’s commitment to each other could overcome any obstacle. But when Hunter’s drinking evolved into dependency, she was forced to learn how rapidly and irrevocably a marriage can fall apart under the merciless power of addiction. When the lies became insurmountable, Kathleen was forced to reckon with the compromises she had made to try to save her marriage. She wondered if she could survive on her own.

The result is a memoir that is gripping and heart-breaking. Here Kathleen asks why she kept so much hidden—from her daughters and herself—for so many years, why she became dependent on one man, and why she was more faithful to a vow of secrecy than to her own truth. This inspiring chronicle of radical honesty and self-actualization speaks to women who have lost part of their identity and want to reclaim it.

©2022 Random House (P)2022 Random House Audio

What the critics say

“Kathleen Buhle’s brave and honest story transcends politics, division, hearsay, and judgment. It is a story of love and learning, of the crushing blow of co-dependency and addiction, and ultimately of Buhle’s journey back to herself.”—Connie Britton

“From the safe harbor of a healing aftermath, Kathleen Buhle tells of the grievous toll that addiction took not just on her husband but also on her marriage and her family. She writes with warmth and kindness and without bitterness. As someone who has experienced firsthand the devastating hold of addiction, I find her account clear-eyed, painful, heartfelt, funny, and, best of all, hopeful.”—Leslie Jordan, author of How Y’all Doing?: Misadventures and Mischief from a Life Well Lived

“It isn’t easy to write a book about marriage that acknowledges what hard work it is to love another person and, also, oneself. In If We Break, Kathleen Buhle has done just that. The result is a harrowing tale of innocence and self-discovery, truth-telling and resilience. I couldn’t put it down.”—Kim Brooks, author of Small Animals: Parenthood in the Age of Fear

What listeners say about If We Break

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Excellent story!

I enjoyed listening to this book. I did so over a day and a half. It's heart-breaking to listen to the belligerent denial Hunter had near the end, of his addiction. I commend Kathleen for fighting so hard for her marriage & with 3 kids involved, it makes so much sense. Her family sounds like such a loving, caring one, one I would like to get to know. In the end, she claims her identity back & stands on her own like the powerful woman she is. Thank you for sharing your story. You are courageous & brave for doing so. It helps the rest of see that leaving an addicted spouse is possible, we don't have to die with the addict. Thank you, great, honest book.

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Painful, poignant and hard to put down

For three days straight this audible memoir accompanied me during long walks, household chores and then again at bedtime (on a timer that I would restart when it lapsed instead of drifting off). I found myself thinking about Kathleen and her family between listens. She is a brave and humble souI who experienced great heartbreak and she is willing to admit the pain and confusion made her act a bit nutty at times. Reading this, I thought gaslighting (a term she never uses) can do that to the best of us! Love you Kathleen Buhle! You are funny, gracious, courageous and elegant. It is a tragedy your husband couldn’t get through his pain and overcome his addictions. You describe many beautiful things about him before the hurtful, angry addict took the front seat. I’m happy for you and your family that you were able to overcome so much adversity. Keep writing. You are very talented.

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Powerful story!

Kathleen's story exceeded my expectations. I learned so much through her story...so many great take aways . it's a must read...regardless of what's going on in your life.

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Read this one

Such a heart wrenching story line couldn’t put it down highly recommend listening to this one

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