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Kill the Farm Boy

The Tales of Pell Series, Book 1
Narrated by: Luke Daniels
Length: 12 hrs and 38 mins
3.5 out of 5 stars (23 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

In an irreverent new series in the tradition of Monty Python, the best-selling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes.

"Ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett." (Chuck Wendig)

"When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!" (Terry Brooks)

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born...and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy's untimely death...and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar "happily ever after" that ever once-upon-a-timed. 

Praise for Kill the Farm Boy:

"A rollicking fantasy adventure that upends numerous genre tropes in audacious style...a laugh-out-loud-funny fusion of Monty Python-esque humor and whimsy a la Terry Pratchett's Discworld." (Kirkus Reviews)

“Dawson and Hearne’s reimagining of a traditional fairy tale is reminiscent of William Goldman’s The Princess Bride and William Steig’s Shrek! Irreverent, funny, and full of entertaining wordplay, this will keep readers guessing until the end.” (Library Journal)

"Will have you laughing out loud until strangers begin to look at you oddly." (SyFy)

"A smart comedy...nuanced, complicated, and human." (Tordotcom)

"[Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne] make fun of the typical 'white male power fantasies,' and in that, they succeed, with their heroes all characters of color and/or falling somewhere under the LGBTQ umbrella." (Publishers Weekly)  

©2018 Kevin Hearne and Delilah S. Dawson (P)2018 Random House Audio

What the critics say

"When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!" (New York Times bestselling author Terry Brooks)

"Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne have rigged up an absurdly funny fantasy riff on the Chosen One story, and it had me laughing from literally the name of the first chapter .Kill the Farm Boy ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett and is not to be missed." (Chuck Wendig)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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hilarious

If you are looking for something similar to the Iron Druid Chronicles, this isn't it. Most negative reviews seem to be from people who were expecting something similar to IDC. Instead this is a satirical take on tropes in epics. It's hilarious and Luke as always give an incredible performance.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

a bit too long, Narrator slightly too comical

lots of puns (mostly the same ones). some good parts but the story goes on for much longer then it needs too. the narrator is talented but plays it a bit too clownish. worth a listen on your free credit

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Witty and fun!

What a fun listen! Clever and sometimes punny these characters are relatable. You know these people! The narration is fantastic! Luke Daniels really brings these characters to life! #Audible1

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Sad to say, the storytelling really got my goat!

It started strong, had an interesting twist, but quickly devolved into juvenile jokes and unresolved plotlines

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Roger C. Roberts
  • 2018-10-25

Tries WAY to hard

I love puns and satire as much as the next guy, and much more than my wife. This book sadly just tried way to hard to be funny. Everything felt forced and the plot was weak at best. The writer(s) seemed to think making a Xanth-like novel was easy. It obviously isn't. Their obsession with describing the food fell flat while the rest of the world building was very cliche. The saving grace was Luke Daniels and his always enjoyable narrating style. Good inflection and character differentiation. I suggest you look at Scott Myers Magic 2.0 series for a better example of what I think the authors were aiming for.

11 of 12 people found this review helpful

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  • Adam
  • 2018-07-23

A forgettable story with none of the iron Druid charm

Expecting hilarious wordplay during a fun, interesting adventure? I sure was, since Hearne has a history crafting exceptional stories with deep and charming characters.

This book has none of this. It’s a badly strung together set of low brow puns (“SAND-WITCH see what we did there? We’ll remind you often!”) and content seemingly lifted from Monty python and given to a teenager to adapter into a d&d campaign.

See even what I wrote above actually sounds like it could work. But this just doesn’t. None of the characters are likeable and the title of the book seems like a bait and switch.

This is just bad. I expected more from you Kevin. I’m hoping it’s your co-writer who has insisted on reiterating on puns and dad jokes.

Luke Daniels tries to hold the fort with his excellent narration but it’s hard to fix a bad story.

Avoid or get on sale if you must

47 of 55 people found this review helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Bruce D. Parker
  • 2018-07-18

Disappointing

I love the Iron Druid series and eagerly anticipated Kill the Farmboy . Maybe it was too much anticipation but this latest story is not so much clever as dopey, emotive and pandering. The humor attacks rather than amuses.
The narrator is a good one who I have heard several times before but the production destroys the performance by making much of the key dialogue so soft as to be unhearable while other parts slam your eardrums numbing them to continued listening. I was constantly adjusting my player's volume and even relistening in order to follow the story.
Between the sappy story and the poor production quality, I found it difficult to finish.

56 of 66 people found this review helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Jeremy R. Snyder
  • 2019-05-09

Terribly disappointing

This book maintains no cohesive story, style, or substance. The authors set up a good framework for a tale, but instead of building on it, they just lazily drape elements about the frame like so much damp laundry. And there they sit, drying slowly, leaving you wondering why things happened, what the point was, and whether bits and pieces were supposed to be funny.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • donald a downie
  • 2019-05-07

It's not Pratchett, and Daniels can't save this.

Sorry, Kevin and Delilah...
Luke Daniels reads life into what would otherwise be the literary equivalent of watching trees pollinate. And just as funny.
Poorly defined plot points, and characters who would be better off used simply as background flavor in better books, make for an excruciating listen. The story relies on puns that never deliver, and jokes that take time to build up, but never arrive intact.
A minor plot twist (involving Gustav) wasn't. It should have been bigger, and held in reserve for longer; as it was, it was poorly concealed and popped out earlier than needed to no-one's shock and awe.
And the story just kept dragging on, and on.
But, if you are a fan of VO work, Luke Daniels is amazing.
Not amazing enough to save this talking goat of a story.
But, there you are.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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  • Troy Inman
  • 2019-05-05

Luke Daniels is excellent.

The story is 12 hours of puns, middleschool humor, and heavy-handed social commentary. It switched insanely from laugh out loud funny to eye rolling sybolism. I can not reccomend.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Evobe
  • 2019-04-24

Not for me

I stopped listening, didn't like the humor. Also why the heck use the voice actor from off to be a wizard, I can't help but think of Philip when I hear Toby.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Joel Langenfeld
  • 2019-02-21

Adolescent humor ... and not particularly good

I'm not particularly prudish, but the authors were evidently banking on sesqui-entendres like "holding the Morning Wood in reverence" or "plunging into the Bushy Cleft" for yucks. The first couple of chapters were OK, but beyond that the tepid puns were overburdened by an unimaginative plot.

Luke Daniels did his best, but he didn't write the drivel.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • H. Burns
  • 2018-07-27

5 Stars from a 2 star guy

I'm not one for giving books inflated ratings. My expectations are pretty high, in fact. But Kill The Farm Boy exceeded ALL my expectations.

If I were to describe it, in a spoiler free way, I would say: take every fantasy, gamer and D&D trope you've ever seen, put them in a blender, spread that on toast made of Terry Pratchet worlds and garnish with Monty Python puns.

Twice while listening to this on my commute I had to pull out of traffic because I was laughing so hard I couldn't safely operate a vehicle.

So, stop reading this review and start the book already!

16 of 21 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Cindy Baker
  • 2018-07-25

Luke Daniels is amazing

This is one of the funniest, most laugh out loud books I’ve read in a loooong time. The characters are all great, and the writing is sharp as a tack. Luke Daniels gives the best audio performance I have ever heard. Seriously, he’s amazing. He was one of my favorites after the Iron Druid series, and now I’d have to say he’s my favorite narrator ever. Buy this book. You won’t regret it.

12 of 16 people found this review helpful