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Love Me Whole

Written by: Nicky James
Narrated by: Adam Gold
Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
Categories: Romance, Contemporary
5 out of 5 stars (2 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Twenty-eight-year-old Oryn Patterson isn't like other people. Being an extremely shy social introvert is only part of the problem. Oryn has dissociative identity disorder. He may look like a normal man on the outside, but spend five minutes with him, and his daily struggles begin to show. 

Oryn shares his life and headspace with five distinctively different alters. Reed, a protective, very straight jock. Cohen, a flamboyantly gay 19-year-old who is a social butterfly. Cove, a self-destructive terror, whose past haunts him. Theo, an asexual man of little emotion, whose focus is on maintaining order. And Rain, a five-year-old child whose only concern is Batman. 

Vaughn Sinclair is stuck in a rut. When his job doesn't offer the same thrill it once did, he decides it's time to mix-up his stagnant, boring routine. Little does he know, the man he meets during an impromptu decision to return to college is anything but ordinary. 

Vaughn's heart defies logic, and he finds himself falling in love with this strange new man. But how can you love someone who isn't always themself? It may not be easy, but Vaughn is determined to try.

©2018 Nicky James (P)2019 Nicky James

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Highly recommended

I thoroughly enjoyed this audiobook. This was a quality audiobook. The perfect story with a perfect narrator!

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  • Erryn Barratt
  • 2019-02-26

Pieces of a whole

It took me three days to get through this book and despite the length, I would have binged and done it all in one day if I could have. I have listened and raved around Nicky James’ audiobooks before, and this one is one of my favourites. Possibly my new favourite.

As someone with a mental illness, I’ve struggled with loneliness and wondering if someone will ever want to be with me. When I met Oryn Patterson in this book, I ached for him. Twenty-eight years old and has never had a serious relationship – or any relationship – because of his illness. After all, who would want to take on one man with six distinct personalities – alters – and never know who is going to show up.

Vaughn Sinclair, thank God, is that man. He meets Oryn in a night class he’s taking. He’s thirty-five and restless, wanting to go back to school to liven up his life. He’s not expecting to meet a beguiling and hurting man, but he does. Over and over, Oryn warns Vaughn that a relationship won’t work yet over and over Vaughn finds more about Oryn to love. I’ll be honest, there were moments I though Vaughn was the one who needed to check himself. Loving someone with a mental illness is a challenge at the best of times, but when the person is in an active phase of their illness? Phew. My head spun as Oryn cycled through his alters.

I want to take a moment to congratulate Ms. James on such an accurate representation of mental illness. She took on the challenge of someone dying and dealing with the aftermath of that in No Regrets and Abel’s Journey, so I wasn’t surprised she’d take on another really tough subject. Accurate representations of mental illness are rare enough, but taking on an illness that is so misunderstood? Wow. Just…wow. I didn’t know better and recently went to see the movie Glass. The portrayal of the character with this illness was disturbing and horrifically inaccurate. Maybe it was good for storytelling, but it did nothing to increase awareness or understanding of the illness and its underlying causes. For the record, I did not enjoy the movie.

In this book, Oryn points out that most movies do not accurately represent dissociative identity disorder (D.I.D.). He’s right, of course. In daily discourse, multiple personality disorder is not portrayed accurately and those suffering from it are destined for horrific outcomes. Nicky’s book about death was tough, but it was a romance and I knew it was going to have a tragic ending – I was warned about that. I was also promised that the book was about hope and love. It was, so promise kept.

This book is also about hope and love. Once Vaughn decides he’s willing to risk himself and get involved with Oryn, he commits completely. I loved that. There were many very simple moments that were poignant for their normalcy. And then there were dramatic moments where things go sideways where I held my breath. Vaughn freely took on Oryn and his five alters, constantly educating himself. I thought Ms. James did a great job of developing each alter and engaging me as a reader. I always felt each portrayal was authentic and the characters were well-developed. I also felt Vaughn’s fatigue viscerally as he dealt with the changes Oryn underwent.

I got my romance and my happy ending, but wow, did these guys ever have to work for it. I liked that the ending was about living with mental illness and not trying to eradicate it. Many people who have mental illness face life-long struggles and if they are lucky enough to have a partner, that person has to be strong and supportive. That person needs to understand that someone with a mental illness doesn’t choose to be that way and that there are medical reasons for the illness. Vaughn’s open-mindedness and willingness to learn and adapt was commendable.

Finally, I want to give kudos to Adam Gold. Many books have multiple characters of various ages, but the challenge of this book is that six of those characters belong to one body. Mr. Gold’s portrayal of the complexity of Oryn’s character was amazing. I was able to move from each alter without losing the authenticity of the performance. He narrated Ms. James’ other books and they work really well together. I cannot say enough good things about this work and I highly recommend it.

14 of 14 people found this review helpful

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  • ❤️ Cyndi Marie ❤️
  • 2019-04-09

✫✫ 4.5 Stars ✫✫

This was such a great story. I felt like the subject may not have been completely original but the way the author handled it was. I've listened to other books with this subject and NONE of they come even a little close to this. I would say it was a slow burn but honestly I really didn't feel like that to me. Usually I'm getting annoyed wondering when the slow burn will finally catch fire but with this one I was perfect. The story required it and I never even wanted to push it. These characters were so well written. Vaughn is an amazing guy, from page one I loved him and that love just grew with every chapter. Oryn was such a complex and damaged guy that it was amazing to see his transformation through out this book. I love that this book shows that everyone can find love and not everyone will run when they see your baggage. Beautiful love story. Seriously LISTEN TO THIS BOOK.

The narration was ok. I really enjoyed him for 90% of the characters but I'll be honest the voice he gave Cohen was awful. Cohen was supposed to have a lisp but instead he sounded like a grown man doing baby talk and that is so sad because I know Cohen was meant to make me fall in love too but I just couldn't because the voice annoyed me :( But considering the narrator had to do 6+ male voices, I guess 5 great voices deserves applause!

The issue I has with the Audiobook is the "sound effects" Every time Vaughn was talking in his own head the voice was echoing like he was on the phone or something. It was very very annoying and Yanked me out of the story every time it happened. I guess it wasn't so bad I stopped listening but I did considerate a few times in the beginning.

12 of 12 people found this review helpful

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  • Greb
  • 2019-02-28

review

This book about a very misunderstood and haunting mental disorder is unusual for a love story. However, the author goes above and beyond to delve into the details and complications of Oryn's life and the love that came into his life and managed to stay with him.

It is written in vivid language that does not become entangled in medical lingo and by no means simple.

I hope the author continues to delve into subject matters of this nature.

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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  • Robert Jackson
  • 2019-03-11

An Amazing Story of Hope and Love

I happened to notice a review of this book and decided it might be worth a read/listen. I am so glad I did. This unique story of a young man with Dissociative Identity Disorder and his five other separate identities is really unlike anything I have ever read. You get to know each of the other identities and understand why they are who they are. This is a story which is sometimes a wee bit heartbreaking but is always filled with the unconditional love one man has for another man with DID. I read a lot of books and this is by far one of the best books I have read/listened to in years.
What makes this read perfect is the narrator/performer Adam Gold. He is most certainly one of the best performers in this business and I am amazed at his range of voices. Absolutely spot on. I can not wait to read other books by the author as well as other books performed by this truly gifted narrator/performer.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Wild Pig
  • 2019-04-02

This is a different treasure...

Nicky, a difficult subject, and one that is fascinating without doubt. Your development of the story and characters was more than intriguing to me. I found myself bogged down a few times, but it didn't last long. I think your insight into this subject matter is admirable and your effort to convey it in a true light is done very well.

Adam, Bravo Sir. This was a major challenge for anyone and you came up to the plate without question!

Listener, I say go for it. It's different. It's quality writing and narration, but as is true with everything, you just have to see if this one is for you. I liked it. I will find this author again. A different kind of treasure...

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • JENNIFER MARCUM
  • 2019-04-23

Must buy!!!!

I don’t usually write a written review, only give stars but Love Me Whole required my time to let you know what I thought. This is one of the most phenomenal books I’ve ever read! It has all the feels! Adam Gold does a superb job narrating, it feels like you’re listening to a movie his voices and sound effects are so realistic.

The world of DID that Nicky takes you through is fascinating. Even though you know the main character had to of endured unimaginable trauma as a child, she doesn’t go into detail about his past, she focuses on the present and how he can make his whole system work in harmony.

If there is one book worth your hard earned money, it is this one!! Give it a try, I promise you won’t regret it!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • L. Caplan
  • 2019-03-23

Beautiful Love Story!

Great listen! The writing was simple and straightforward. I have no clue how accurate the depiction of the mental illness was but it did not matter for me. It was a beautiful story, a beautiful love story. I never got bored, it never lost my interest, and I looked forward to getting into my car everyday to listen. Loved this book!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • deborah
  • 2019-02-28

This book isn't just for M/M listeners

this isn't just a love story, it is a great story that will draw you in from the first minutes. if you have ever had trauma in your life, you will feel close to Oryn. it may hurt but free you to feel there is hope to love and be loved. The narrator was amazing with his ability to give different voices to all the characters. Very few narrators can do more than 2 or 3 but I was happily surprised. I cannot wait to see more by Nicky James.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Hanksgirl
  • 2019-02-22

Best audiobook Ever!!

There are no words to say how good this book was, no words. I absolutely loved it. The narrator did an absolutely amazing job at making these guys come to life and make the story that much more amazing!!

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Serenepw
  • 2019-10-06

This is an AMAZING STORY!

I have never had the pleasure of experiencing such an incredible story. This was totally, excellent, perfect, amazing, outstanding to say the least. Oryn,(Reed, Cohen, Cove, Theo, Rain,) story was created in such a wonderful way. The amazing story of Oryn and his alters, we get to experience them all for who they are, and what they mean with regards assistance Oryn to cope with everyday life. But then, here comes Vaughn, and he completes them all. Bringing them his love, understanding, patience, and so much more into all of their lives. Vaughn and Oryn's story is simply BEAUTIFUL. The narration was on POINT! I totally recommend their heart felt story. You will not be disappointed. ENJOY!