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  • Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

  • How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship
  • Written by: Shari Y. Manning PhD
  • Narrated by: Angela Brazil
  • Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (37 ratings)

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Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Written by: Shari Y. Manning PhD
Narrated by: Angela Brazil
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Publisher's Summary

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny, but their behavior often drives away those closest to them. If you're struggling in a tumultuous relationship with someone with BPD, this is the book for you. Dr. Shari Manning helps you understand why your spouse, family member, or friend has such out-of-control emotions and how to change the way you can respond. Learn to use simple yet powerful strategies that can defuse crises, establish better boundaries, and radically transform your relationship. Empathic, hopeful, and science based, this is the first book for family and friends grounded in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the most effective treatment for BPD.

©2011 Guilford Press (P)2015 Tantor

What the critics say

"Research based, clearly written, and practical, this guide to a complex disorder is highly recommended." ( Library Journal)

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What listeners say about Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

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Great Learning Tool

With learning more about BPD and being diagnosed with it, this book helps you to be able to disable your triggers, or how to better manage yourself, and helps you understand those who love you feel. It opens up a better way for the person and those who love them better cope with BPD and to be able to understand them and how to better manage them (for a lack of terms). It is a helpful learning tool, and gives hope for the future.

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4 people found this helpful

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Love this Book!

Love this and I will listen to it again and again so it completely sinks in so I can fully be the best partner I can.

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1 person found this helpful

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Great book but the reader…

The content was excellent but the reader sounded too perfect almost “actor like” annunciation which made it less pleasurable to listen to. She sounded a bit to clinical.

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Best one yet

I’ve read a handful of self help books on bpd.
This is hands down the best book I’ve read on the subject. Instead of reading facts on the illness you’re learning ways to cope and adapt, To build and overcome.
I really wish I came across this book sooner because I truly believe this book would have saved my relationship.
Also this book isn’t only for someone dealing with a loved one with bpd, if you have bpd read it! It’s good to know your loved ones perspective.
Also I highly recommended for couples with worn down relationships to go through this book together, it just might save your relationship.
A1 will definitely read this book time and time again.

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Extremely informative

Very informative, well narrated, and good for those who need info for families and friends.

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Very helpful, insightful and professional

I read the negative reviews before purchasing this book. Don’t agree with any of them except for the narrator is a little dry.

I think the knowledge gained will be a game changer in helping me understand and positively interact with my loved one.

In the few days I’ve been trying to validate validate validate what my loved one tells me has already proved in progressing in conversations.

I learned that validation reigns superior, beyond my ability to fully appreciate, to someone who has bpd symptoms.

What I would like to learn more of is how the author set limits when in a disagreement/ conflict with someone who has npd symptoms. The few examples she did give were very helpful nonetheless.

Thanks!

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  • DM
  • 2021-02-18

so much helpful Information

this book is great. lots of helpful scenarios and tips. just finished the book and I think I will listen one more try just to absorb it more. very recommended.

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  • Lyn
  • 2021-01-18

Written with compassion

This book was very informative and helpful. Manning does an excellent job of providing real life examples - all of which I found some tendencies in my loved one. It’s written from a place of compassion, not frustration which is where I was at when I started listening to this book. Manning puts behaviours into context and perspective and provides very useful tools to help you though some challenging situations in a more peaceful way. Her techniques will certainly take practice but I’m already calmer in my interactions with my BPD loved one which I’m certain will help her manage her condition better as well.

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  • randy
  • 2016-06-15

fantastic

this is without a doubt the best book on borderline personality disorder. I have read at least 15 books on BPD and this is by far the best. I would recommend to anyone with a loved one that is struggling with this disorder to read this book. the book is very insightful and has real life techniques that you can use in your daily interactions with your loved one with BPD.

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18 people found this helpful

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  • Allene
  • 2016-02-29

So helpful. Practical advice for all!

So helpful. Full of practical advice for everyone whether or not your loved one has an official diagnosis. The book is also applicable to all relationships not just the one who may have BPD. The narration, however is robotic and distracting.

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16 people found this helpful

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  • Amber
  • 2019-06-23

This book changed my life in ways I didn't expect

I started listening to this book for one purpose. I purchased this book for my boyfriend when he found out he had Borderline. I found out I had Borderline as well while listening to this book. Now with the information that I learned, my emotional intelligence grew tremendously. I haven't yelled at my kids since I've read this book. I haven't invalidated anyone like I used to. I do not judge anyone, and I changed my way of reacting. I highly recommend this book to anyone, not just people associated with BPD.


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11 people found this helpful

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  • Crystal
  • 2017-05-04

Helpful information, presentation is stilted

This book contained a lot of good information and I'll probably end up buying the Kindle version so that I can refer back to it frequently. The style of the narrator was irritating to me. She seemed almost robotic at times. I think it was because there was so much clinical information. She was easier to listen to during the case study portions because she seemed more animated. I think this was appropriate, it's just not the most enjoyable listening. In any case, I feel like my retention of lists of helpful strategies, lists of the criteria for diagnosing this condition and so on will be greater if I have a chance to look at the lists. Listening to this book gave me a great overview. I might have had a hard time getting through the whole thing reading it myself. Now I'll want to go back and read certain portions in order to help them stick.

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8 people found this helpful

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  • Eszti
  • 2016-02-17

very useful book

This book has helped me a lot. i am surely going to buy it in paper form to study it better. It helped me to understand my loved ones with BPD. It is nice to have a book that has a positive attitude towards people with this disorder.

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8 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2017-04-11

Good book but focused on extremes

Great insights into how BPD comes about and what it's like for someone to live with. Would have appreciated a chapter on dealing with splitting and how to manage the attack that comes with it.

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7 people found this helpful

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  • Ashley
  • 2021-11-28

Suffering with borderline personality disorder

I do suffer from this disorder. I have done so many horrible things after drinking too much and calling or texting people. I have said disgusting things I have felt regretful and shameful almost daily. I still hate myself. I have alienated myself. I never had a good support system. Listening has clarified so much and given me a view of what everyone around me has had to deal with. I wish I could apologize to everyone I have hurt but unfortunately most have died due to cancer and natural causes. I’m self sabotaging and hurt everyone around me. I do not post this for sympathy I deserve everything that has come by way. But I love that the author shows compassion for the person with bpd.

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5 people found this helpful

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  • C
  • 2017-05-24

good for family members

This author will provide you with a definition and understanding of borderline. more importantly how to cope with them and what to do.

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  • Aldo Leiva Marchissano
  • 2016-04-11

great help and tool lie within

chapter 4 is very helpful, loved it overall. I would recommend to anyone wanting to know more about BPD.

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  • Ora Goldman
  • 2019-05-01

I think this will save my relationship

I think this will save my relationship. I am deeply in love with someone who suffers from some of the painful feelings and situations outlined in this book. Through the course of our relationship I have also found myself to have some of the same sufferings. This book will help us support each other and go into a positive support system rather than escalating disagreements and seriously wounding ourselves over and over again.

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3 people found this helpful