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  • Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

  • The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex
  • Written by: John Gray
  • Narrated by: John Gray
  • Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (242 ratings)

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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Written by: John Gray
Narrated by: John Gray
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Publisher's Summary

The Phenomenal Number One New York Times Best Seller

In his classic guide to understanding the opposite sex, Dr. John Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to improve their communication and relationships by acknowledging the differences between them.

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: They forgot they were from different planets.  

Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this timeless book has helped men and women realize how different they can be in their communication styles, their emotional needs, and their modes of behavior, and offers the secrets of communicating without conflicts, allowing couples to give intimacy every chance to grow. 

©1998 John Gray (P)1998 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., All Rights Reserved, Harper Audio, A Division of HarperCollins Publishers

What the critics say

"A valuable, much-needed book. A contribution to the understanding of the communication styles of men and women." (Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want)

What listeners say about Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

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Thorough, Insightful, and Easy to Comprehend!

This book was extremely insightful and I plan to listen many more times! Many of these tips have already saved my marriage a handful of times, and interactions have only been looking up!

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What's the hype

Don't understand what all the hype was back years ago when it came out. I found it boring and kinda anti feminist. I couldn't bring myself to finish it. it was uninteresting and I thought kinda one sided...I guess that's because I'm from Venus!

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every couples should listen to this.

every couples should read or listen to that book.
it vives A LOT of good advices.

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A bit confusing

This book left me feeling mostly sad for men. It paints men as children who need to be trained and affirmed constantly. It suggests that men have zero flexibility in relationships with women (even though these same men flexible at work). This book also suggests that men cannot and should not be told or expected to improve. According to this book, women need to just let men whatever they like, whenever and however they like, but be grateful for every little thing they do.

While this book makes some important observations about men and women, the tone basically infantilizes men and paints them as inflexible, immature robotic children. Women on the other hand are painted as emotional, illogical and needy wrecks. The stereotypes in this book a bit laughable actually.

However, some of the valid points (if looked at contextually) are actually quite useful.

I am left mostly confused in some areas, and clarified in others. I am glad I didn’t read this book earlier.

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Must read

Very interesting and simplified approach to help understand our differences. To help build compassion and self reflect. It’s been years since it got published but in my opinion it still stands

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Great book to understand the opposite sex

it was insightful how men and women are different and how we should apply some changes to maintain the relationship

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The Truths You Try to Avoid

I first read this book when I was 19, in an attempt to 'fix' my relationship with a 16 year girl. So many years later, I have read and listened to this book again. There is so much information that is an absolute must for any person, who wishes to communicate more effectively with the other sex. We are all different, men and women, boy and girl. And this book helps the reader to come to terms with that, and manifests a better world when we respect our differences, and enjoy our similarities.

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its a fantastic read 📚

very informational!! It's one of my all-time favorites. I would definitely recommend this to my friends and family.

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A perfect Listen

A Perfect listen. I liked the fact it’s a easy to understand. I think all should hear this at least once. Would of made a difference I believe in my earlier adulthood.

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This is a wonderful book for All people

I absolutely love this book. My wife and I have a happy marriage and always have but I enjoy reading and I've always wanted to learn more about this book because the title is intriguing. After reading this book, I then listen to the audible version and both were very satisfying I learned a lot of things and now can be even more loving towards my wife. This is a book that I would recommend to any of my friends and family even if they do not have major problems throughout there relationships. All of us can learn from this book. The narrator also had a voice that was great to listen. he really came across like someone who wanted to teach you which was nice. Do yourself a favour and pick this book up or listen to it either way I'm sure you'll be happy with your decision

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  • Lenna
  • 2006-06-29

May I suggest...

This is an excellent book, in spite of how cliche the title has become. But I STRONGLY recommend the abridged version.

I am usually 100% anti-abridgement, I hate them hate them hate them. I owned the abridgement of this book on cassette before I purchased the unabridged version. It was abridged by and is read by the author - so you can be certain it still has everything in it that he felt was essential. The unabridged version is very repetitive, which is fine when you are reading but may put you to sleep if you are listening!

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81 people found this helpful

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  • David Strum
  • 2018-09-21

I cried.

I'm 52 and in my second marriage (25yrs this time) and I've never been able to express my feelings. I'm like a caveman. This book helped me realize that I needed to learn how to express myself without yelling and making everything an argument. My wife is 90% right in how she handles the marriage because she read the book years ago. I was stubborn and a man who knew everything...a perfectionist. When I finally realized I was on my way to either a non-fully-committed marriage or another divorce. She doesn't know that I've read it but is noticing that things are changing. I can't put into words how much happier I am being able to understand and express my feelings. It's not an easy thing to get used to at all. But the author explains this in the book and I'm not as afraid to do so now. I hope that it isn't too late to make amends and show her who I really am and to do my best to make the next 25yrs be what she wants, deserves and needs. She is the best wife a man could ask for. Would love to go to a weekend seminar to continue to learn more. I will be reading all of his books now because I don't want to forget how to properly treat my wife ever again.

Thank you, John Gray....thank you.

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  • Isaac
  • 2005-12-06

A Very Helpful Guide to The Opposite sex

A GREAT TOOL!!! to becoming a great partner............ This Book will save you from many many unneeded missunderstandings in a relationship. it brings much self improfment by bringing a better understanding of how and why men and women differ. ................. The ONLY negatives are 1) the voice reading is unpleasant at times and 2) few times, it may seem repetative-due to much topic clearification. yet this is really nothing compared to all the benifets it brings........All in ALL, a must read..

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  • Lucy Dog
  • 2007-12-12

Truly Comforting

I don't normally take the time to write reviews, but this book is AMAZING. I downloaded it at a time in my life where my relationship just seemed like it was falling to pieces, but both my fiance and I have been listening to it together, and we BOTH come back to each other time and again to share just how right John Gray is! It is wonderful not only to understand the opposite sex, but also to help you understand yourself and how you can express yourself to your partner. Most of all, it is so comforting to know that you aren't alone! You recognize yourself in almost every word. Repetitive? Maybe. But almost everything John Gray says is WELL worth repeating until you've got it right. I don't know what we would do without this book. It is not a fix-all if you've got serious problems, but it is a wonderful beginning to giving each other the chance that you both deserve.

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  • Kelsea
  • 2017-06-25

Terrible outdated material.

I could barely finish this book because of how bad, inaccurate, and one-sided it's psychology was. As a psychologist one should take into consideration a female perspective. which is something that this man does not do.

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  • anita
  • 2013-10-29

Men stick together

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

I think the voice was monotone. It did not have the energy I expected in a motivational/inspirational book.

What was most disappointing about John Gray’s story?

It appeared that the story was for women to better understand men and it almost made me believe that women have to be the patient one and accept the "way men are"..Very seldom did he mention mutual efforts.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

It was informative and it did make me think back to mistakes I may have made along my path. Many of the things he talked about, I saw in my mother and of course, sometimes we adopt things we see our parents do.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2018-03-18

Take this as a coaching workbook

This is a great book for coaching on communication for men and women wanting to achieve success in their intimate relationships with one another. While it is definitely dated, as some if the other readers have pointed out, and the cadence gets a little dry at times, what you can get out of this book far outweighs that. One caveat is: one needs to have an open mind and heart and be ready to receive the information. Through different phases of growth, I would definitely have received this information differently.
Here are a few things worth highlighting:
- offers great insights on how men and women's thought processes differ
- helps identify areas where you may be misunderstanding your partner and making them wrong
- for women: helps you find more effective ways to be assertive in your relationship and communicate what you want, while making your partner feel more appreciated and engaged with giving you what you need
- for men: helps you provide the displays of caring your partner needs to feel good, while getting get the space you need in the relationship and not feeling misunderstood for wanting that
- communication techniques can be applied in communicating with children, coworkers or anyone of the opposite gender
- if you remember that the ultimate goal is to achieve harmony, love, acceptance and understanding of one another, then you will move beyond the datedness or hokey case studies and pull out the real gems here.

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  • Udaya
  • 2003-08-18

Wish I knew about this book earlier

Recently divorced after 2 years of seperation. I wish my X-wife and myself read this book 2 years ago. The reasons for most of our problems, which I could not explain before are very clear now. I would have handled many situations differently only if had this knowledge then. I am confident the knowledge gained through this book will be very useful in my future relationships with the people from Venus

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  • Brenda
  • 2018-10-02

NOT HELPFUL!!

This book seems to make women think that they should cater to their husband!! It also seems to point out that women should watch what they say and how they say it to avoid upsetting their husbands but by talking to them as if they were BABIES!! COULDN'T FINISH LISTENING TO THIS...JUST AWFUL

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  • Jignasu
  • 2008-06-13

Poor Quality

Poor Quality of the audio book. Did not follow the book verbatim. I downloaded the unabridged version and wanted to follow along reading the unabridged book as well; in order to follow the tone of Dr. Gray's Men are from Mars. Some parts were omitted in the audio recording that were listed in the book. The audio otherwise conveyed the point in capturing the tone and message of the book, however it was overall difficult to follow along.

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  • bigsister
  • 2023-09-27

Should not have waited so long to get around to this!

Full of insights that will improve my communication with the men in my life, including my kids. Essential reading!

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  • Baptiste W.
  • 2023-01-05

A waste of time

Nothing in this book is fact checked. It’s an essay / fiction that was written by a man that had a divorce and then stayed married to only one woman in his life. How can he know and teach so much about women in general?

If you’re looking to learn about men and women dynamics, you’d better read books from David Buss, an evolutionary psychologist and university teacher. His books are based on scientific studies, not some random theories thrown around as facts without any justifications whatsoever.

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  • Samah L
  • 2022-05-04

Un livre que tous les hommes et femmes devraient lire

J’ai adoré ce livre ainsi que la pédagogie avec laquelle John Gray nous fait cheminer dans ce processus de découverte de soi et de l’autre. Je recommande!!

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  • Wilson
  • 2020-12-12

Great insight for those who want to grow into a better version of themselves by understanding female and male nature.

Very good book to learn more about both male and female nature and the origin of the struggles we often face while in a relationship.
I’d recommended it to single, married, entangled or whatever your relationship status is.

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