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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex
Written by: John Gray
Narrated by: John Gray
Series: Mars and Venus
Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (100 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

The Phenomenal Number One New York Times Best Seller

In his classic guide to understanding the opposite sex, Dr. John Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to improve their communication and relationships by acknowledging the differences between them.

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: They forgot they were from different planets.  

Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this timeless book has helped men and women realize how different they can be in their communication styles, their emotional needs, and their modes of behavior, and offers the secrets of communicating without conflicts, allowing couples to give intimacy every chance to grow. 

©1998 John Gray (P)1998 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., All Rights Reserved, Harper Audio, A Division of HarperCollins Publishers

What the critics say

"A valuable, much-needed book. A contribution to the understanding of the communication styles of men and women." (Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

every couples should listen to this.

every couples should read or listen to that book.
it vives A LOT of good advices.

1 person found this helpful

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A must read

Thanks John, this was a very helpful material in understanding how the opposite sexes think.
Very well explained in such a simple and low level language !!

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Disappointed

Book highlights the differences between sexes but the flow of the book wouldn’t allow me to get in to it.

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Amazing

This book allowed me to understand men more and allowed me to reflect on past relationship, friend relationships with men, how i interact with them in daily life. Also it made me realize where i can improve on for my self and made me go inside and look at it from all angles and so i could heal as well. Definitely worth the read and you will have a lot of ah ha moments

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Recommend to listen!

I really liked the book. Learned many things and enjoyed the stories. Recommend to everyone!

Sometimes it gets repetitive but it’s fine. Many books follow the same pattern.

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The best book.

I have listened to this audiobook so many times at this point so I would HIGHLY recommend. John Gray changed my life. Not only has his ideas helped my relationship but also I've learned so much about myself.
Read this book now.

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this book spoke to me

wow I did not understand why sometimes my husband would be so distant during times of struggles. now I know he was just trying to figure things out in his "man cage"

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  • mc
  • 2018-10-17

enjoyed!

This book is one of the best in my self help collection. It gives inside into other sex mental thinking. If you are a self taught person intellectual but struggle in relationships, this is the book. despite any controversial comments I would read this book again and again and implement little actions to help me with my relationships.

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Chapters doesn't match

with this audiobook, the chapters doesn't line up with the chapters being read. a new chapter can begin in the middle of am audible chapter.

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No longer relevant for the times

There were some good points to be taken about communication, but I couldn’t get ‘into’ this book. The methods are outdated and even sounded corny. There are better books out there now to offer insight into understanding relationships.

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  • David Strum
  • 2018-09-21

I cried.

I'm 52 and in my second marriage (25yrs this time) and I've never been able to express my feelings. I'm like a caveman. This book helped me realize that I needed to learn how to express myself without yelling and making everything an argument. My wife is 90% right in how she handles the marriage because she read the book years ago. I was stubborn and a man who knew everything...a perfectionist. When I finally realized I was on my way to either a non-fully-committed marriage or another divorce. She doesn't know that I've read it but is noticing that things are changing. I can't put into words how much happier I am being able to understand and express my feelings. It's not an easy thing to get used to at all. But the author explains this in the book and I'm not as afraid to do so now. I hope that it isn't too late to make amends and show her who I really am and to do my best to make the next 25yrs be what she wants, deserves and needs. She is the best wife a man could ask for. Would love to go to a weekend seminar to continue to learn more. I will be reading all of his books now because I don't want to forget how to properly treat my wife ever again.

Thank you, John Gray....thank you.

28 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Lenna
  • 2006-06-29

May I suggest...

This is an excellent book, in spite of how cliche the title has become. But I STRONGLY recommend the abridged version.

I am usually 100% anti-abridgement, I hate them hate them hate them. I owned the abridgement of this book on cassette before I purchased the unabridged version. It was abridged by and is read by the author - so you can be certain it still has everything in it that he felt was essential. The unabridged version is very repetitive, which is fine when you are reading but may put you to sleep if you are listening!

72 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2018-03-18

Take this as a coaching workbook

This is a great book for coaching on communication for men and women wanting to achieve success in their intimate relationships with one another. While it is definitely dated, as some if the other readers have pointed out, and the cadence gets a little dry at times, what you can get out of this book far outweighs that. One caveat is: one needs to have an open mind and heart and be ready to receive the information. Through different phases of growth, I would definitely have received this information differently.
Here are a few things worth highlighting:
- offers great insights on how men and women's thought processes differ
- helps identify areas where you may be misunderstanding your partner and making them wrong
- for women: helps you find more effective ways to be assertive in your relationship and communicate what you want, while making your partner feel more appreciated and engaged with giving you what you need
- for men: helps you provide the displays of caring your partner needs to feel good, while getting get the space you need in the relationship and not feeling misunderstood for wanting that
- communication techniques can be applied in communicating with children, coworkers or anyone of the opposite gender
- if you remember that the ultimate goal is to achieve harmony, love, acceptance and understanding of one another, then you will move beyond the datedness or hokey case studies and pull out the real gems here.

7 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Isaac
  • 2005-12-06

A Very Helpful Guide to The Opposite sex

A GREAT TOOL!!! to becoming a great partner............ This Book will save you from many many unneeded missunderstandings in a relationship. it brings much self improfment by bringing a better understanding of how and why men and women differ. ................. The ONLY negatives are 1) the voice reading is unpleasant at times and 2) few times, it may seem repetative-due to much topic clearification. yet this is really nothing compared to all the benifets it brings........All in ALL, a must read..

19 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Lucy Dog
  • 2007-12-12

Truly Comforting

I don't normally take the time to write reviews, but this book is AMAZING. I downloaded it at a time in my life where my relationship just seemed like it was falling to pieces, but both my fiance and I have been listening to it together, and we BOTH come back to each other time and again to share just how right John Gray is! It is wonderful not only to understand the opposite sex, but also to help you understand yourself and how you can express yourself to your partner. Most of all, it is so comforting to know that you aren't alone! You recognize yourself in almost every word. Repetitive? Maybe. But almost everything John Gray says is WELL worth repeating until you've got it right. I don't know what we would do without this book. It is not a fix-all if you've got serious problems, but it is a wonderful beginning to giving each other the chance that you both deserve.

16 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
  • Jignasu
  • 2008-06-13

Poor Quality

Poor Quality of the audio book. Did not follow the book verbatim. I downloaded the unabridged version and wanted to follow along reading the unabridged book as well; in order to follow the tone of Dr. Gray's Men are from Mars. Some parts were omitted in the audio recording that were listed in the book. The audio otherwise conveyed the point in capturing the tone and message of the book, however it was overall difficult to follow along.

10 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Victor
  • 2003-01-09

loved the hard-copy and loved the audio book

almost everyone has heard of this title unless you live in a cave on an island without any access to society and the opposite sex ... listened to it 3 times (on different flights) - makes me laugh even now just thinking about it ...

5 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Udaya
  • 2003-08-18

Wish I knew about this book earlier

Recently divorced after 2 years of seperation. I wish my X-wife and myself read this book 2 years ago. The reasons for most of our problems, which I could not explain before are very clear now. I would have handled many situations differently only if had this knowledge then. I am confident the knowledge gained through this book will be very useful in my future relationships with the people from Venus

12 people found this helpful

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  • Kelsea
  • 2017-06-25

Terrible outdated material.

I could barely finish this book because of how bad, inaccurate, and one-sided it's psychology was. As a psychologist one should take into consideration a female perspective. which is something that this man does not do.

13 people found this helpful

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  • anita
  • 2013-10-29

Men stick together

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

I think the voice was monotone. It did not have the energy I expected in a motivational/inspirational book.

What was most disappointing about John Gray’s story?

It appeared that the story was for women to better understand men and it almost made me believe that women have to be the patient one and accept the "way men are"..Very seldom did he mention mutual efforts.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

It was informative and it did make me think back to mistakes I may have made along my path. Many of the things he talked about, I saw in my mother and of course, sometimes we adopt things we see our parents do.

13 people found this helpful