Pretty F*cked

We became famous overnight. One day, I was a twenty-four-year-old drummer slinging pizzas to make ends meet, and the next, I was a member of the most popular alternative band ever. Despite being world-famous, there was no connection in it. I'd lost touch with reality, with intimacy. I couldn't find a place to be normal. I'd lived my entire life straight-edged while watching obsession destroy my best friend. Obsession terrified me—that is until I met him.

It's official: my step bro is the biggest himbo ever to himbo. He's a massive blond beefcake with a soft heart and an over-eager smile. The mere sight of him incites a shaking hot rage in me. He's everywhere. He's around me all the time. So sweet and gentle that it makes me feel wild. I see him and smell him everywhere. When I can't see him or smell him, I hear him. The wall between our bedrooms is paper thin. I can't help it—I hear what he does in his room when he thinks he's alone. I hear everything.

My relationship with twins Damon and Declan has always been close. Too close, according to what society has deemed appropriate between guy friends. But that's never stopped our hugging and cuddling—in public or private. My best friends knew I didn't receive affection from home, so they never let me go without it.

I'm trapped in the middle of nowhere with the sexiest man I've ever seen... what could possibly go wrong? My family sent me here thinking it would help lift my mood. When I think about it now, I realise I didn’t give nearly enough thought to what it would be like, or what I’d be doing on a farm. If anything, I had a vague, nebulous notion that it would be like some sort of retreat. Boy, was I wrong. Far from relaxing, I now find myself tending to actual sheep. If you knew me at all, you’d know how preposterous that is.

Charles Preston Carmichael is the most infuriating man I've ever met. I want to sock the golden boy of college hockey right in the mouth. He enjoys telling me everything I'm messing up—publicly. And since he's my roommate for the next year, I can't avoid him. Yet there's something about him that makes me watch him. Something dark. A secret I want to uncover. When he returns from a weekend away, broken and haunted, I can't keep my distance anymore. He needs someone, and I'll be damned if it's not me.