When you're a blacklisted preschool teacher and somehow end up coaching the worst team in the NHL, it's shaping up to be the crappiest Christmas ever.

We’re adding an NHL head-coaching job to the Yule log dumpster fire of my holiday season.

I lost my apartment and had to move back home for the holidays.

My mom sneaks into my bedroom to watch me sleep because she “can’t help it. I missed my little girl so much, Ellie!”

And my day-drinking granny has declared herself the team's new equipment manager so she can ogle hockey butts in the locker room.

The last thing I need is 22 adult toddlers with blades on their feet and bad attitudes for Christmas.

Captain Fletcher Sullivan? He’s the worst, with his muscles and his sneer, turning every practice into The Grinch on Ice.

Between breaking up fights, hosting snack time, and bailing my goalie out of jail, I have no time for Christmas cheer—or for the cocky, absurdly ripped team captain who thinks I don’t belong in the NHL.

Yes, I played on the women’s national hockey team.

Yes, I lift weights.
And yes, I will pick up a six-four hockey player and put him in time-out if he doesn’t follow directions.

There’s no Christmas miracle coming to save us. We lose. A lot.

But armed with Goldfish crackers and juice boxes, I’m going to turn this team of ragtag hockey players into winners.

Even if it turns me into the Grinch.

Or worse—makes me fall for the enemy.