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Raising a Secure Child cover art

Raising a Secure Child

Written by: Kent Hoffman,Glen Cooper,Bert Powell,Daniel J. Siegel - foreword,Christine M. Benton - contributor
Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
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Publisher's Summary

Today's parents are constantly pressured to be perfect. But in striving to do everything right, we risk missing what children really need for lifelong emotional security. Now the simple, powerful "Circle of Security" parenting strategies that Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper, and Bert Powell have taught thousands of families are available in self-help form for the first time.

You will learn:

  • How to balance nurturing and protectiveness with promoting your child's independence
  • What emotional needs a toddler or older child may be expressing through difficult behavior
  • How your own upbringing affects your parenting style - and what you can do about it

Filled with vivid stories and unique practical tools, this book puts the keys to healthy attachment within everyone's reach - self-understanding, flexibility, and the willingness to make and learn from mistakes.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.

©2017 The Guilford Press (P)2017 Tantor

What listeners say about Raising a Secure Child

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amazing book

I've practiced attachment parenting for the last 6 years, so a lot on the stuff in the book I have been practicing already. that being said I loved learning about the circle of security, shark music and core sensitivities. it helps me understand the areas where I need to be more mindful of how I react.

highly recommend all parents reading this book .

4 people found this helpful

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Must read for all parents

Gives thoughtful guidance on how you can help your kids become the best versions of themselves all the while allowing for realistic expectations from yourself as a parent.

1 person found this helpful

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Dry read but good info

I had a hard time listening to this for more than 5-10 minutes at a time because I feel it was so dry . The reader was very monotone but I don’t know what else she could have done to make it more interesting. The points in the book however make worthwhile. You just have to get over the boring parts like when they explain that they will explain more later. There’s a lot of unnecessary parts to make the book longer for some reason. You also need to get the image of the circles so you have a better idea of what they are talking about .

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A must listen for anyone

This book sets the basis to attachment theory, how it affected your life as a kid and how it is affecting your parenting, while giving helpful and non paternalistic advice. I highly recommend to anyone, parent or not.

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Such a great book

This book is stacked full of great information and stories to back up all of the work and research that the authors have been doing. It really opened my eyes to my core sensitivities and where I struggle on the circle with my children and of course other relationships in my life. This was the first time I read this book but I’m sure it won’t be the last. I’ve already told so many other parents about it!
I really loved it and am grateful to authors for sharing their work through this book.

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must read for all parents

amazing book for all new and old parents ! helps deal with your own parenting style as well as your parents .

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  • Dee
  • 2022-09-21

such good info. helps me to calm down

helps me to calm the hell down when I'm getting upset motherhood is hard and this is a great tool lol. I'll be listening to this again down the road. I didn't know there was pdfs with it.

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Great book and great narration

so much to unpack. Especially when you have childhood trauma. make sure you listen/read on your own when you have time to process properly. i have read this two times now.

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  • Emily | @emilyisoverbooked
  • 2018-11-01

Practical and Awesome

I love the idea of the circle of security! The audiobook is a little rough at the end when there are so many examples - I feel like it would be better suited in a written book.

Also, if you can't figure out where to find the bonus material PDF, it's at Tantor.com. It was so hard for me to figure out what the narrator was saying! https://tantor.com/raising-a-secure-child-glen-cooper-ma-kent-hoffman-reld-bert-powell-ma.html

15 people found this helpful

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  • Vero
  • 2018-06-29

where can I find the pdf??

Can anybody please write the source where I can find the pdf they mention at the very beginning of the auidobook?
For Audible: it would be so nice if you'd put a written note to the books. This is not the first time I have difficulties to find the attached files.

13 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2017-11-12

life changing approach to child care/relationships

Most wonderful book ive read on childcare and parenting (and ive read many). A must read for any new parent and a refreshing read for more experienced parents looking to connect more deeply with their children (and other significant relationships) and resolve relational conflict in a meaningful way. I will be listening again many times and can highly recommending this book to anyone interested in deepening connections with the people they love and in depth reflections into their own childhood. Life changing information in a gentle and kind tone to support the reader during sometimes very touching topics.

11 people found this helpful

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  • Mom2Boys
  • 2017-11-03

Important Self Reflective Opportunity

Bigger, Stronger, Wiser & Kind. This book is full of real life examples that supply the context for understanding how my own attachment style (and shark music) impact my relationship with my child as well as the relationships I have with everyone else in my life. It serves as a springboard for further self reflection. I will practice being with my child, keeping my hands on the circle of security and mending any ruptures that occur when my own needs cause me to take my hands off the circle.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Lisha Hollars
  • 2018-10-10

Good start to understanding you and your children

at first i felt it wasn't the right book for me as it starts with early parents and i have older children. but as the book continues, it builds and prepares you to understand how your child reacts and their personalities are based on their personalities and reactions as they were infants and toddlers. it ends as children grow and how you as a parent grow. a nice transition that i didn't expect but needed.

5 people found this helpful

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  • CC-1223
  • 2018-03-01

I'm sure the points in the book are good but...

What disappointed you about Raising a Secure Child?

The narrator is terribly boring and hard to listen to for an entire book. I tried twice and couldn't get through it.

What could the authors have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

Better narrator.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

Boring, almost monotone voice on what is already not the most fun topic

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

disappointment

5 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2018-06-08

The only book you need to read

This book is amazing!
It shows mang exemples and guides the parents in building a secure relationship with the child. It is easy to understand and a great tool! I loved it!

4 people found this helpful

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  • Jeannine Feasel
  • 2018-09-30

Immediate impact!

I saw an immediate change in the relationships with my kids from examples and lessons learned from this book! The anecdotes draw you in because they are relatable and current. You will vacillate between recognizing yourself and your parent friends, which is useful context. I found myself replaying certain sections to make sure I caught every word.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Cariza
  • 2019-07-16

Profound and insightful!

A must read for every parent. This books provides an insightful and profound roadmap to parents for the most important and challenging work. I absolutely recommend this book!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Shailesh
  • 2018-08-02

If you are a parent or planning to be one, this is essential reading!

This book explains why our intentions of becoming more conscious parents are not always translated into action. What stops us are our attachment patterns and our shark music! This book has helped in de cluttering and identifying my triggers and in making peace with them. Such a fantastic book!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Allie Harris
  • 2022-11-21

Helpful information, annoying writing style

If I hear the term "shark music" one more time, I think I'm going to lose it!

The model of attachment in this book is simple yet very helpful, presented in a way that is easy to understand and accompanied with many concrete examples of application. Based on classes given to parents, you can see that the authors' approach is rather practical in helping parents establish a secure attachment, or repair an insecure one with many examples and quotes from parents. The authors help you understand where and how you may be struggling as a parent to respond adequately to the child's cues without laying blame, and helps identify what a child's needs truly are as well as how to address them.

Unfortunately, the content is extremely repetitive, in the sense that the authors say the same things over and over and over again in slightly different ways. The definition of "circle of security" is hashed and rehashed and rephrased continually to the point of excess. Certain terminology becomes mind-numbingly annoying with repetition, such as "the and" (which the narrator pronounces as "the end"?) to refer to the parent-child connection, or calling the feeling of parents being triggered by certain situations seemingly without cause as "hearing shark music" over and over, multiple times in the same paragraph, maybe 100 times or more in a few short chapters.

Book could've been half the length or less if more concise, perhaps in the form of a workbook or online interactive learning course. In an audio book format, it's impossible to know how far to skip ahead in order to pass the redundant parts.

The performance of the narrator is ok to listen to, but she had strange pronunciation at times which blocked comprehension.

Overall, the usefulness of the content of the book outweighs the nuisance of the heavy-handed over explanation and repetition.