Listen free for 30 days

  • Seashell Virgin

  • Nacho Mama's Patio Cafe Novels, Book 3
  • Written by: Steve Schatz
  • Narrated by: Steve Schatz
  • Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins

Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo + applicable taxes after 30 days. Cancel anytime.
Seashell Virgin cover art

Seashell Virgin

Written by: Steve Schatz
Narrated by: Steve Schatz
Try for $0.00

$14.95 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $16.11

Buy Now for $16.11

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Tax where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

Homo Heroes vs Politico Ponce Brothers

Fast paced fun. Touching and tawdry. Churchies, crooks, and rapscallions scheme to close our only gay bar, rape a forest, and get rich with a gay hating charter school. Break-ins, kidnapping, threats, blackmail, bondage, and the most spectacular drag show the world has ever seen, thrill and delight you as the anti-heroes from Nacho Mama’s Patio Cafe once more answer the call to set things straight, as it were.

A great listen. Fast, funny, and funky. The third Nacho Mama’s Patio Cafe book has all your favorites – TiaRa del Fuego, impresaria extraordinaire; Nacho Mama, gruff restaurateur; Aunt May, sweet lil ol Southern belle with a thousand lurid stories of her sexual past; BB Singer, anti-hero dropped in the midst of the mess, whose only desire is to escape unscathed with his latest treasure, an 18” statue of the Virgin Mary festooned with seashells; and many more old n new fun and funky friends. The villain is a plastic politico named Ponce (absolutely in no way resembling any current politician) who looks like a model for the groom on a wedding cake, claims to be driven by gawd, and will do any nasty thing to get what he wants. His brother is much worse.

With the humor of Fletch, the wild adventures of Stephanie Plum, the tenderness of Le Cage, and the camaraderie of Tales of the City, Seashell Virgin highlights life of a band of middle-aged friends seeking to find a bit of joy in Magawatta, a tiny spot of blue in the very red state of Injana.

©2021 Steve Schatz (P)2021 Steve Schatz

Love Books? You'll Love Audible.

Placeholder Image Alt Text

Transform your day

Replace endless scrolling with endless listening. Chores can be fun.

Placeholder Image Alt Text

Listen everywhere

Download titles to listen offline, wherever you are in the world.

Placeholder Image Alt Text

Carry your entire Library

Your stories go where you go. Audiobooks don’t weigh a thing.

Placeholder Image Alt Text

Listen and learn

Discover stories that can change your mind, your well-being, and your life.

Placeholder Image Alt Text

Reach your reading goals

You can’t turn pages while you drive—but you can press play.

Placeholder Image Alt Text

Find your niche

WIth thousands of titles to explore, there’s something for everyone.

Try for $0.00 $14.95 per month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

What listeners say about Seashell Virgin

Average Customer Ratings

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.