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Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

When Parents Make Their Children Partners
Written by: Kenneth Adams
Narrated by: Craig Jessen
Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (7 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy - even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries - usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring'. The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction - because there is nothing loving or caring about a close parent-child relationship that services the needs of the parent rather than the child.

In this revised and updated 20th anniversary edition of his groundbreaking book Silently Seduced, Dr. Adams explains how 'feeling close', especially with the opposite-sex parent, is not the source of comfort the image suggests, especially when that child is cheated out of a childhood by being a parent's surrogate partner. He offers a framework to understand this covert incest and its effect on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships, and how victims can begin the process of recovery.

©2011 Kenneth M. Adams (P)2013 Audible, Inc.

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    5 out of 5 stars

Eye opening and pivotal

This helped me finally understand why I feel trapped and guilty to thrive on my own. It's sadly so commonplace and I can think of many people who are also held back by their parents neediness, guilt trips, controlling and shaming behaviour. Everyone should listen to this if not for their own situation, than to identify those who cross your path with these issues and know it's not you...it's their parents.

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  • Daniel
  • 2015-04-03

Great book on a delicate subject.

Honestly the narrator made it slightly creepy, but that's my own personal preference. The book is expertly written and helps the reader understand why they or their spouse acts a certain way and gives steps on how to move forward. It's a difficult subject and healing process, but this book definitely helps.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Tony J Flint
  • 2019-11-02

A wonderful book!

This book provides an explanation for feelings of low self-esteem and confusion, and clear instructions for what to do in order to heal.

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  • Ryan W.
  • 2019-02-27

Best book I've listened to regarding covert incest

This book has been very helpful for me. I was skeptical to buy the book at first but I am so happy I did. The book was filled with great examples that were easy to comprehend and apply to your own life.

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  • Candice Zamora
  • 2019-01-16

Finally, so glad to find this book!

I have long struggled with intimacy issue and have spent a lot of time in therapy and read numerous books. This book nails my experience and my struggles. Extremely helpful. Highly recommended.

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  • Freedom Farmer
  • 2019-01-10

Vital information

Like most good books I wish I would have known this earlier....but I’m glad I can apply its teachings now.

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  • Chem Troll
  • 2018-12-14

Good read but can get uncomfortable as it should

Will most likely bring up some uncomfortable emotions. Long forgotten skeletons that need to be dealt with.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2018-11-28

Great book!

This book helps not only to victims of emotional incest but also to their partners. I did not understand the wrong dynamics in my partner's family. This book was very eye opening for me because i realized that there is nothing wrong with me asking my partner to be emotionally engaged in our relationship. I finally can name a problem that occurs in my relationship. It also helped to protect my child from his family as well as myself. With these families it is never-ending cycle of abuse. Doctor Adams helps to break this cycle. I am glad that someone is not afraid to write about this topic! It should not be taboo.

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  • Jeff Richardson
  • 2018-11-24

So good! Finished in a day!

So good, healing, and well read. I feel empowered to work on myself and be a better partner

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2018-01-27

Amazing!!!

I wish I would have read it years ago. This is the start to healing an 18 year cycle of hurt with a man I loved, but he could not properly love me back or commit! Now I finally understand why he could never commit to me. I am so thankful for this information! I am happy to finally have the root, but sadden at what has happened to this man that I genuinely love.

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  • Laura Klein
  • 2017-09-14

What about the lesbians?

While I know it's impossible for the author to write about every possible scenario of covert incest in a single book, I was a little disappointed that he didn't talk about the consequences of it for lesbians and bi women. Otherwise, great resource.