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Publisher's Summary

Still Learning is India Oxenberg’s intimate, first-person account of how she was lured into and, seven years later, escaped from the NXIVM cult, DOS. 

As the secret sorority within NXIVM's vast Ponzi network, DOS was created by Keith Raniere and his acolytes to serve as a source of "slaves" to Keith and the other “masters”. Despite the fantastical headlines, the focus of Still Learning reflects what many parents and age peers of India’s will recognize as a far more familiar 20-something conundrum - a new adult trying to discover who she is, and in the process second-guessing the advice of parents, concerned siblings, and close friends who prove to be all too right - about a romantic partner, a sharp turn off of a hard-won educational track, or a dangerous group like NXIVM. India’s is a surprisingly relatable “adulting” tale set amidst one of the most alarming news stories of the day, rich with data on warning signs that distinguish exploration from exploitation. 

This is much more than a survival story; it's a deeply personal reflection on how to come out (or help a loved one come out) the other side intact, still hopeful, and remarkably adult.

©2020 India Oxenberg (P)2020 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Still Learning

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  • Overall
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Real, Raw & unabashedly truthful...

While reading India’s story I felt myself healing from my own past experiences.
With every page I turned the author laid herself bare, she was able to depict her experiences in a way that could be relatable to any woman in any situation. What makes India Oxenbergs story different from the average woman’s story of abuse and rape is NOT that she was a part of a cult, it is that she had the courage and opportunity to tell her story on a international stage. Now that is character! To anyone who might hear this story and pass judgement & shame on this woman for her involvement and subsequent branding casts judgement on ALL women who have been manipulated into acting against their best interest in hopes of finding acceptance and clarity. Which is all of us.

I think we should be less preoccupied with asking why she joined and how she could let this happen to her and be more focused on the questions like
,how society and the institution meant to protect these women instead allowed groups like NXIVM/DOS/EPS to exist for so long.

But I will end with this. NXIVM didn’t ruin this woman’s life, she is going places no doubt about that!
Such a great listen.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

We are still learning.. together.

I started to cry when you shared the feeling of being free to eat peanut butter....its my comfort food as well when memories come flooding back from my cult life. I feel you explained the roller coaster emotions with clarity and dignity. I was a child in a cult and when I left I was an emotionally awkward adult trying to make sense of the world. I feared the world but was also in awe and couldn't wait to learn everything I can about being me. Thank you for sharing your story..❤

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Incredible story of growth

As a middle aged lady listening to India's experience and growth was like listening to a daughter. I felt so filled with pride for her. I've read/podcast binged anything and everything on NXVIM as I have a special interest in cults, and I learned a lot from India's account. Well done! Excellent writing and narration.

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  • Vi
  • 2021-05-15

A different view on the topic after “reading” her mom’s book!

I listen to her mom’s book and then to hers. They both really complement each other.

She has a wonderful voice and I couldn’t stop listening. She is so brave to expose all of that.

Well written, read fantastically. A must listen or read to understand the complexe story of this sect.

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An empathetic and caring memoir

India is a courageous and caring light who shared her most vulnerable “frog in water” journey into and out of a cult that was horrifically devaluing human life and cunningly so.

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Incredible story

I had previously heard Catherine's book about saving India from this cult and was riveted. I also am familiar with their family as I am a fan of Casper's. I lived hearing this from India's point of view.

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  • rebekah s.
  • 2020-11-04

The best book on Nxivm so far

I’m a parent of a dyslexic and I want to first say the way that identity has been woven through every thread of this story was truly moving and powerful. This account of the Nxivm has been my favorite so far. India rejects pride and hubris in any manner and maintains humility and ownership of her entire story. The way she recorded it was powerful too. You can still hear the discomfort and confusion in her voice frequently as she recounts certain difficult parts. I’ve read every book on Nxivm that’s been made available so far and I appreciate this one the most. I think it’s also the most relatable about how a normal girl searching for her truth and path could fall prey to this dangerous group. Thank you, India, for sharing it with the world.

32 people found this helpful

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  • PJ123
  • 2020-11-13

Well written BUT

Probably like everyone who ordered this book, I watched the The Vow and was eager to hear India's story. She's a good writer, but something was missing for me. I don't feel she really conveyed how and why she was so attracted to the cult, in other words, what about their specific teachings convinced her this was the answer for her. (The teachings of Keith Raniere are still vague if not a total mystery after a documentary and reading several articles and this book) India seems to be articulate and open, but there was never any emotion expressed, either in the writing, or the reading. She just didn't go deep enough for me to feel invested emotionally. although I was interested in the story.
Also, I understand why, for a book like this, Audible would have the writer narrate. But the reading was odd, halting, each sentence broken up into several parts, with a pause in between each few words. (example:" I'm going to help you. Alison said. squeezing my hand and looking deeply into my eyes") It really was hard to listen to after a while.
That said, this is a brave book, and I do admire the author for making her story public.

21 people found this helpful

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  • LVP
  • 2020-11-03

Slow

The book is ok. I did not feel the full story was told. I would have liked to know what happened to her along with what part she played in the cult. The 4-part tv series tells a better story. In addition, the narration is slow, you can easily put it on 1.4x speed and still hear everything clearly.

14 people found this helpful

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  • S.Turcotte
  • 2020-10-31

A Heartfelt Account of Survival and Resilience

This is a must read for anyone who has ever felt lost in this world. India‘s personal and honest account of her life before, during, and after NXIVM is at times heart wrenching yet also relatable. However, most of all it is inspiring and a testament to our resilience as human beings. It is a testament to India’s strength and courage. It is a testament to the importance of family. And it is a testament to unconditional love, love of one another and love of yourself.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Ashley Harvey
  • 2020-11-10

Better than watching The Vow

The Vow on HBO is just the tip of the NXIVM iceberg. India is one of the many voices that was missing from Mark and Bonnie’s retelling of escaping NXIVM. Her mother Katherine has spoken A LOT but to finally hear India tell her story, in her own words, was very compelling.
Her story is very well told and was an enjoyable listen, despite the nature of her story. Thanks for sharing India!

8 people found this helpful

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  • Fr0gStar
  • 2020-12-17

Good Insight on Falling into Cult Life

I appreciate that this book was written by someone with firsthand experience of moving from a free life, to controlled life. The book does good job explaining the slow process of normalizing things that no one should consider normal.

The use of the word schizophrenic as a verb in the last third of the book should be reconsidered. #stopthestigma

7 people found this helpful

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  • GCS18
  • 2020-11-05

Cant help but feel ...

That India got off a little too easy. Sorry. Not right. If Alison Mack is in jail, India should not be considered innocent.

7 people found this helpful

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  • Cori
  • 2020-10-29

Powerful and Inspiring

I saw myself in a lot of India’s story, especially when she was a young 20 year old. I am only a year older than India so I couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if I had been approached by NXIVM. I also enjoyed finally hearing her story and not the media’s the perception or the version of events from those who tried to rescue her.
I would love to have an update epilogue now that Keith has been sentenced.
Also a minor complaint: Toni Morrison didn’t write I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou did.

I also felt that in certain parts it didn’t sound like India reading but rather someone else who is much flatter and louder.

This was a very interesting story. I’m glad she is doing so much better and is safer!!

6 people found this helpful

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  • Sydnick
  • 2020-12-13

India doesn’t hold back in this brave retelling

India tells her story of her life before Nexium and DOS and then while she’s in it. This honest retelling takes you through the subtle manipulation as she relives the trauma aloud and illustrates how a person could be led down this path unaware of the downstream effects of their actions. She explains her first hand account of the downfall of the organization and her subsequent effort to aid in the investigation against the organization. Her memoir is brave and honest.

5 people found this helpful

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  • marisol macias
  • 2020-10-29

A Very Honest Reading !!

It was a wonderful reading, it felt very honest.

Great job with feeling in the holes in the story. It was compelling to hear her perspective.

The narration was great!! I would recommend it to others.

3 people found this helpful