Terry Pratchett: BBC Radio Drama Collection

Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork - not the old fashioned, grubby pushing and shoving, but the new, fast football with pointy hats for goalposts and balls that go gloing when you drop them. And now, the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else.

A weathercock has risen from the sea of Discworld, and suddenly you can tell which way the wind is blowing. As two armies march, Commander Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch has got just a few hours to deal with a crime so big that there's no law against it. It's called "war"....

On a hot midsummer night in Discworld, everything seems perfect - crop circles are turning up everywhere, the witch Magrat Garlick is getting married the next morning, and everyone's buzzing with excitement. Unfortunately, the Lancre All-Comers Morris Team has gotten drunk on a fairy mound, and the elves have returned with the traditional traits of the magical realm of Fairie: evil, malice, murder, cruelty, and kidnapping.

Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed. And on the Discworld that is the job of the Monks of History, who store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like the underwater; how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities, where there's never enough time. But the construction of the world's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time for Lu Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd.

The town of Ankh-Morpork is in big trouble, and the City Watch is desperate for a few good men to protect it. But all they've got are the dwarves Corporal Carrot and Lance-constable Cuddy; the troll Lance-constable Detritus; Lance-constable Angua, who is believed to be a woman; and, worst of all, Corporal Nobbs, who has been disqualified from the human race for shoving! These underdogs need all the help they can get, for they've been given only 24 hours to clean up the war-torn town.

Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to be a priest. He thought he'd come to the mountain kingdom of Lancre for a simple little religious ceremony. Now he's caught between vampires and witches, and he's not sure there is a right side.

William de Worde, the accidental editor of Discworld's first newspaper, just wants to get to the truth. Unfortunately, everyone else wants to get at William. And it's only the third edition.

Interesting Times, the seventeenth novel in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, finds the planet's oldest empire in the midst of bitter turmoil after the publication of the revolutionary treatise What I Did on My Holidays. Workers, with nothing to lose but their water buffaloes, are joining forces against old warlords, spreading violence throughout Discworld's ancient cities.

The world will end on Saturday. Next Saturday. Just before dinner, according to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655. The armies of Good and Evil are amassing and everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon are not actually looking forward to the coming Rapture. And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist.

In Terry Pratchett's Reaper Man, Death has left Discworld - but that's not necessarily a good thing. After all, chaos always ensues whenever important public services are withdrawn, and Discworld is no exception. Society is suddenly overrun by ghosts and poltergeists, while Dead Rights activist Reg Shoe finds himself busier than he's ever been and newly-deceased wizard Windle Poons rises from his coffin as a living corpse.

Koom Valley? That was where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls. It was far away. It was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office.

The Great A'Tuin, the heroic turtle who supports the weight of the entire Discworld, not to mention four giant elephants, swims through the galaxy day and night with the burden of being the only creature who knows exactly where the universe is going. Philosophers have long debated where this is, and are due to find out in about 2 months. Shall they worry?

It's hot. It's dry...very dry. There was this thing once called The Wet, which no one believes in. Practically everything that's not poisonous is venomous. But it's the best bloody place in the world, alright?

Right before the wise old wizard Drum Billet died, he passed on his magical staff of power to the newborn eighth son of an eighth son. Unfortunately, Drum Billet never bothered to check the gender of the newborn baby, and it turns out it was a girl. Now his chauvinistic colleagues are forced to deal with a young girl who has all the qualifications to join their all-male profession.

Suddenly, condemned arch-swindler Moist von Lipwig found himself with a noose around his neck and dropping through a trapdoor into...a government job? By all rights, Moist should be meeting his maker rather than being offered a position as postmaster by Lord Vetinari, supreme ruler of Ankh-Morpork.