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Publisher's Summary

An accessible, transformative guide for couples seeking greater love, connection, and intimacy in our modern world

Nate and Kaley Klemp were both successful in their careers, consulting for high-powered companies around the world. Their work as mindfulness and leadership experts, however, often fell to the wayside when they came home in the evening, only to end up fighting about fairness in their marriage. They believed in a model where each partner contributed equally and fairness ruled, but, in reality, they were finding that balance near impossible to achieve. 

From this frustration, they developed the idea of the 80/80 marriage, a new model for balancing career, family, and love. The 80/80 Marriage pushes couples beyond the limited idea of "fairness" toward a new model grounded on radical generosity and shared success, one that calls for each partner to contribute 80 percent to build the strongest possible relationship. Drawing from more than one hundred interviews with couples from all walks of life, stories from business and pop culture, scientific studies, and ancient philosophical insights, husband-and-wife team Nate and Kaley Klemp pinpoint exactly what's not working in modern marriage. Their 80/80 model of marriage provides practical, powerful solutions to transform your relationship and open up space for greater love and connection. 

This audiobook includes a downloadable PDF of exercises and charts.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2021 Nate Klemp and Kaley Klemp (P)2021 Penguin Audio

What the critics say

New York Times Editor’s Choice

“Beautifully written and illustrated and brilliantly argued, any couple reading this will find themselves guided into new and challenging possibilities for their relationship, which if they take seriously and practice faithfully, will surely transform their consciousness, alter their behavior and fulfill their dreams. We heartily encourage all couples to read it with an open mind and a willing heart.” (Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, authors of Getting the Love You Want)

“One of the central struggles in modern relationships is the illusive sense of fairness. The 80/80 Marriage gives couples a new, more effective model for navigating this terrain, and a powerful way to begin feeling more connected and in love.” (Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)

“Times of dramatic societal change can undo close-in relationships, or strengthen them. This brilliant book offers a pathway for couples to deepen connectedness, calling forth the heart’s potential for generosity, trust, acceptance, and compassion.” (Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance and Radical Compassion)

What listeners say about The 80/80 Marriage

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  • SH
  • 2021-03-03

Magazine article stretched to book length

I was looking forward to this book, I'm a fan of the genre, and have gotten a lot of benefit out of multiple marriage and relationship books in the past. My wife and I had a road trip, and we fired this one up. Rather than the book and its explanations and vignettes prompting deep conversation between us, we turned it off after a few hours because we got bored. After the third or fourth time we shot each other incredulous looks, my wife said as politely as she could, "this book is maybe kind of dumb." She is right.

The examples are unrelatable (adults fighting over who will get to spend more time with their parents came up multiple times) and the characters blew up over non-problems. The advice, while not facially insane or toxic, is unhelpful and poorly thought out (ie., don't treat things like a zero sum game, while not addressing zero sum resources, like the days spent with parents, which again, was a material part of the first half of the book).

The quality of the finished book seems like such a wasted opportunity. The author (the voice of the text is primarily male, it's not clear how much Mrs. Klemp participated) describes having interviewed hundreds of couples, and many seem very interesting. But the examples described are hopelessly few and far between, and those included seem cherry picked to be generic, rather than real or relatable.

Finally, the writing style is highly repetitive in the worst way. Whole paragraphs seemed to be more than 50% catchphrase, with one or two phrases like "80/80 marriage" and "mindset" repeated over and over. Even for non-fiction, this is a careless example of telling, rather than showing.

Narrator did fine.

35 people found this helpful

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  • Ralph B.
  • 2021-02-20

A Blueprint for Modern Relationships

An 80/80 marriage? Wait a minute two people each contributing 80% does not add up to a 100% so how’s that going to work? Well, read this book and you will soon discover! Kaley and Nate Klemp have provided an easy to follow, practical and implementable model for modern relationships. The examples resonate and it is easy to see your own relationship conflicts reflected in the exam as you listen to the book. They provide a step-by-step guide on how to make changes that should greatly improve your relationship. This modern approach to navigating the inevitable trials of relationships completely shifts our thinking and moves us to an approach where generosity is a key to success. This book is timely with so many relationships feeling strain during the pandemic and quarantine. A must listen for anyone. There are ideas in this book that you can use even if you are a singleton.

7 people found this helpful

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  • jesse g.
  • 2021-02-28

Useful & Filled w/ Humor... Great for Anyone (in a relationship or not)

Love this book. The authors weave humor, love, humility, generosity, and practicality into each chapter. This refreshing approach, inspired me to tap into the 'radical generosity mindset' on day one, and to my delight the ROI was immediate! The book is great regardless of whether you are married, or in between relationships. Each relationship has the potential to create a different power dynamic, and this book helps you understand how each person feels in these dynamics, and how you can navigate uncharted territory.

Kaley and Nate's humility and candor throughout the book, really make it. Their generous vulnerability makes the book pleasant and approachable. They showcase their lived experiences, and don’t try to sugar coat. They look back at challenges with such playfulness, I found myself laughing out loud, finding ways to extend jogs so I could keep listening. They turn this ‘serious’ topic, into something that is warm, entertaining, and useful . It’s not sarcastic, rather, it’s filled with humble stories and relatable moments, that made my partner and I feel at home. Relationships, love, and connection, are all fascinating, and I regularly read/listen to material on these subjects. This is one of my favorite books in a while! And if you enjoy, would also recommend Kaley’s book, 'The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership' - awesome!

4 people found this helpful

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  • MRH
  • 2021-03-21

Fresh, yet simple, way to improve your marriage

I loved listening to The 80/80 Marriage. The book itself is the perfect length, and has great balance between theory and practical tips and examples. Radical generosity is so powerful, and yet so simple to understand and implement. 80/80 is modern and fresh, and it makes so much sense. I was so stuck in 50/50 “accounting” without realizing how harmful it was, and now I feel freer and lighter. The mindset is everything.

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  • Krystal Kappeler
  • 2021-02-22

Great for a couple at any relationship stage

I'm highly recommending this to all my friends before they get married. I truly enjoyed The 80/80 Marriage so much that I finished it within three days of it being published! Nate and Kaley do a great job of touching on major challenges that most couples face whether they've been together for a year or a decade and providing framework to consider challenges differently.

I can see this book being beneficial both for relationships that are flourishing to bring it to the next level, as well as relationships that need a bit of TLC after the crazy of life has taken the front seat for a bit too long. My fiancé and I (we've been together over 10 years) have already started implementing some of their recommendations and are loving it. In fact, we've enjoyed it so much that we just completed their half-day virtual retreat during Valentine's weekend. We're long distance, for now, and found that to be a very rewarding way to spend time together. We have found their book and retreat to be really helpful when thinking about the division of labor in our future home as we act with more radical generosity towards one another.

We're so grateful to have stumbled upon the gems that the Klemp's share and I imagine you'll love it too.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Dave
  • 2021-02-18

Practical relevant and helpful for modern marriages or any marriage for that matter

This felt like an updated series of practical tools and examples for a modern marriage from a young couple that have learn the skills the hard way to get through the ultimate test. Time. On top of that doing so and a satisfying and generative relationship. Well done. Great read. I highly recommend this to others.

3 people found this helpful

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  • iheartprime
  • 2022-02-20

Recommend this to friends family and patients!

This is fantastic, we’ve already purchased a hard copy for reference and to have easier access to the activities. This is great for all couples, you don’t need to be married to benefit, maybe you’re an old dog learning new ricks and newly cohabitating (like us) - this has really normalized some of the issues we’re struggling with AND helps us to mitigate and minimize conflict. Really glad I found this, I think you will be too.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Sarah C. Dulle
  • 2022-02-12

impressed

This book has great advice with very valid points for a good snd happy marriage.

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  • karly
  • 2021-12-18

This is a booked designed to make women hate men

This books spends all the time talking about how unfair marriage is to a woman. How the woman has to do everything while the men do nothing. Seems to be geared towards making women hate men.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2021-10-07

Unbalanced and Repetitive

I liked the part right at first about “what does us want to do about _____” but the rest was unimaginative and not terribly helpful unless you are already in a terrible relationship.

Did not take much from this. I also felt that it was skewed heavily to the perspective of a woman which seems odd seeing that it is supposed to be 80/80. Would not recommend.

1 person found this helpful