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The Danish Way of Parenting

Written by: Jessica Joelle Alexander,Dissing Sandahl
Narrated by: Kim Mai Guest
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Publisher's Summary

International best seller 

As seen in The Wall Street Journal - from free play to cozy together time, discover the parenting secrets of the happiest people in the world 

What makes Denmark the happiest country in the world - and how do Danish parents raise happy, confident, successful kids, year after year? This upbeat and practical book presents six essential principles, which spell out P-A-R-E-N-T: 

Play is essential for development and well-being.
Authenticity fosters trust and an “inner compass.”
Reframing helps kids cope with setbacks and look on the bright side.
Empathy allows us to act with kindness toward others.
No ultimatums means no power struggles, lines in the sand, or resentment.
Togetherness is a way to celebrate family time, on special occasions and every day. The Danes call this hygge - and it’s a fun, cozy way to foster closeness. Preparing meals together, playing favorite games, and sharing other family traditions are all hygge. (Cell phones, bickering, and complaining are not!) 

With illuminating examples and simple yet powerful advice, The Danish Way of Parenting will help parents from all walks of life raise the happiest, most well-adjusted kids in the world.

©2016 Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Sandahl (P)2016 Penguin Audio

What the critics say

"An emotionally smart, gem of a book. The Danish Way offers a shining alternative to high-stress modern parenting, and families from New Delhi to New York will shout with joy. Forget the pursuit of happiness, this book gets to the authentic roots of family happiness. I guess I'm Danish." (Heather Shumaker, author of It's OK Not to Share and It's OK to Go Up the Slide)

"Everyone around the globe can gain something from the valuable wisdom found in this book. Concepts such as reframing and hygge prove useful to families from all cultures. It's wonderful to see that Danish parenting has so much in common with Positive Parenting! I highly recommend this book!" (Rebecca Eanes, author of Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide)

"With a profound understanding of the positive impact that empathy and connectedness bring to parenting, The Danish Way empowers parents across the globe to check their own default settings and consider the whole child. Their take on the importance of free play is a breath of fresh air in a time when young children are over-scheduled and under stress. Highly recommended for parents everywhere." (Katie Hurley, LCSW, author of The Happy Kid Handbook)

What listeners say about The Danish Way of Parenting

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  • JW
  • 2018-01-23

Useful but misleading and oversimplified

The advice offered in this book is excellent parenting advice, but it is somewhat hypocritical to advocate a "we" mentality and to then promote this as a way for individual success as a parent. For instance, the authors say that these tips for individuals lead to happy lives in Denmark, which blatantly disregards the many communal social structures in place to facilitate happy lives, such as affordable daycare and education. A parent can only be as effective as society allows them to be, and while the tips from the authors are generally excellent tips, the authors ignore major problems in North American society that go far beyond individual parents. I was also disappointed by how often the book focused on mothers, rather than on parents, which reinforces North American images of mothers as primary guardians. The book reperforms many of the flimsy strategies one finds in American "self-help" culture, even as it attempts to break out of those same frameworks.

9 people found this helpful

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Excellent simple and practical parenting book

Although the book is a simple text to read or listen to, it does provide relatable and practical strategies for becoming a better parent. In my context, better means to be more patient, caring, and fostering greater independence in my children. I would recommend this book to parents of children who are 3+ years old as it is more centered on relationship building than lifehacks of dealing with toddlers.

1 person found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars

common sense

this is clearly an American writing a book about parenting in another country and not totally understanding the context of life in other places. you can find similar insight on Instagram quote pictures.. I.e don't hit your kids

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Definitely learned something

While it’s quite short, it’s very succinct and there’s some great nuggets of scientific data to back up an approach that seems commonsensical but yet not implemented well in North America.

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awesome parenting book!

lots of great tips for parents struggling with discipline, power struggles and just being a happier parent in general.

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Every parent should read

Excellent perspective on raising kids. We can get so caught up in how we SHOULD be parenting, but this reminds us how we COULD be parenting

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Much needed

Some tiger mums may not agree with some concepts of this book but I intend to be More intentional about softening my approach to parenting thanks to this.

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The best parenting book I’ve ever read

This book touches on so much and is a mix of parenting, life tips, and is a bit self-help too because it challenges the way we view things. Seriously sooooo good! Definitely going to listen on repeat

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  • Rachel H.
  • 2016-09-24

Obvious parenting tips unrelated to Danes

Do you think it's a bad idea to label your kid, "lazy?" Do you thinking having empathy is a good thing? Congratulations! You already have the level of info that's in this book. Close to nothing in this book has anything to do with Danish culture- it's all run of the mill, common sense (read: obvious) advice.

20 people found this helpful

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  • HS
  • 2019-02-04

It’s a good introduction to respectful parenting

I enjoyed this book. It’s a good introduction to the concept of respectful parenting. However, if you’ve already read multiple books by Janet Lansbury and Magda Gerber, you won’t find much you don’t already know. The one concept I am taking away from this book that I didn’t get anywhere else is the practice of reframing negative experiences. (Deliberately look for the silver lining in negative events, and theorize why someone might be in a bad mood when they are rude or unkind to you.) I believe this is a really important practice. It reminds me a lot of Brené Brown‘s advice to make the most generous assumption of other people’s actions. It will protect your relationships, and even if you are wrong, you will be happier.

All that being said, I would still recommend this book to anyone who has not read multiple Janet Lansbury, Magda Gerber, and Brené Brown Books! If you are new to the ideas of respectful parenting, this is a great place to start. And if you’re a seasoned respectful parent, this book could still be useful. If you’re trying to explain your „radical“ parenting choices to resistant in-laws, for instance, maybe you could get them to read this book. It is very inoffensive, and won’t make them feel attacked.

11 people found this helpful

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  • Flint
  • 2017-02-21

Positive and uplifting parenting book

This book was encouraging and positive. Sometimes parenting books can leave us feeling like we are failing. The Danish Way of Parenting is encouraging and simple and full of good ideas to live more peacefully with your tribe.

9 people found this helpful

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  • Momtech
  • 2016-11-18

Wow what an awesome way to go about parenting

loved it what a great concept to parent with realistic optimism.
it was a quick easy listen with a great narrative

7 people found this helpful

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  • April Rodrigues
  • 2019-12-19

A useful book, even if you're not a parent

This book has some fantastic advice about parenting and becoming a happier human. I have been recommending it to everyone.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Thomas/Jaclyn
  • 2018-03-09

Nothing unique or mind blowing

I would pass on this one. Nothing beyond common sense, nothing unique to Danes, or ideas that haven’t been discussed in every other medium.

The book feels like the cultural exploration of a young person who hasn’t experienced much life or diversity growing up.

Synopsis:
Let your kids have unstructured play
Explain things to your kids rather than get angry
“Reframe” negative things -
Family cuddle time

To frame this topic in a “what makes danes happy” Is a ridiculous oversimplification of the larger picture- but a brilliant marketing strategy to sell books.

I would have given it one more star for a better title called “common sense parenting that we some times overlook”.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Ashlynn Mitchell - Mamabear Fitness
  • 2017-11-16

Changed My Broken Approach to Parenting

I grew up in a home that was very authoritarian meaning it’s my way or the highway. It wasn’t OK to disagree and it wasn’t OK to experience emotions. I also grew up being spanked with a wooden spoon. Does that sound normal?

5 people found this helpful

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  • meltedarts
  • 2016-09-10

changed my way of thinking not just how I parent

this really had an impact on how I thought about things and the way I spoke and listening to it kind of refrain from the way but I deal with things not only with my child but with myself

5 people found this helpful

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  • claudia casallas torres
  • 2017-10-29

great book

I loved it. this book helped me to relax, in moments of parenting stress. I recommend it to everyone and as myself it's a must to read again book for members of stress.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Fern Law
  • 2017-06-02

Delightful and refreshing!

Loved it. Great advise for parenting that works well for grandparents too. Highly recommend it.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Bonjour Melissa
  • 2018-04-17

Nothing earth-shattering, but great content

I really enjoyed this book. The content was not earth shattering for me as it falls very much in line with brain research and positive parenting. However, the content is very good and a worthy reminder. Very digestible and easy to listen to.