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Publisher's Summary

For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle - from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.

©1994 Celestial Arts (P)2012 Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

What the critics say

"I couldn't stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives...a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends." (Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One)

What listeners say about The Ethical Slut

Average Customer Ratings
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This is the relationship Bible

I find myself recommending this to pretty much everyone. It's fantastic for anyone interested in polyamory but it's also pretty great with just general relationship advice

4 people found this helpful

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Just talk about it

For good f***ing's sake, just be honest to people you fuck about who you fuck, if they would like to know that info (a preference which you should already have asked about, tactfully. Yes it is difficult to do well).

Don't forget to keep 'em gloves on, and get tested.

Variation in audio quality was a minor gripe of mine.

2 people found this helpful

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Quintessential advice on relations, sex, and love

THE ETHICAL SLUT

This is an essential read for anyone regardless of orientation, sexual lifestyle, and experience; Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton take care and with conviction offer their insights.

Subtitled a book on polyamory and other adventures, I found the book to be just as rich and helpful when discussing any and everything from monogamous relationships, to safe and passionate sex, how to deal with emotions including jealously, how to identify and have your needs met, self-care and caring for your partner/s, child-rearing, and much more. 

Staying true to its title, every chapter is fitted with guiding messages on ethics and behaviour. In reading this you may awaken to the realisations that all sexual lifestyles are in essence correct, so long as you are honest, trusting, communicative, and considerate. Anecdotes, exercises, and an easy to reference layout help to ease you into this fundamental exploration of your identity and/or further you along in expressing yourself.

Reviewed via Audible, the authors as the narrator are calming and carry the appropriate weight in presenting their decades of experience, through highs, lows, and everything in between. Even if you do not plan on open relationships, or having multiple partners, I am sure you will come away from this book with advice you may not have known you needed or could make use of.

1 person found this helpful

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Everyone should read this

This is a very valuable book for anyone in a loving relationship where it be with one, two, three or More people. Amazing communication and relationship building exercises!

1 person found this helpful

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Best book on communication

It doesn’t matter if you are into being a slut or if you are completely vanilla. This book teaches fantastic communication tools.

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Excellent for those entering the lifestyle

A great beginners intro into having multiple relationships. Also an empowering listen for those in the lifestyle for many years.
This could also be a good information and support read for judgemental friends or family members to better understand you and your choices.

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I highly recommend this book.

Excellent information regardless of how your current relationship is structured. I enjoy the flow and the authors are really funny. I plan to gift this book to many people.

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Amazing and enlightening

I loved this book. It was so enlightening and helped me build confidence and understanding to pursue a lifestyle such as this!
It truly asks the right questions and goes into detail about so many of the common potential hiccups and bumps you may encounter and how to navigate through them.
I’m really excited about the perspectives shared in this book and I’ll from now on recommend it to anyone and everyone willing to listen 😊
The performance of this book was good too. The author spoke slowly and softly that made it easy to take in the concepts. I did notice on some of the devices I would listen to the book the voice would be quiet but as you turned the volume up the bass in the speaker would rattle.
Other than this minor inconvenience this was a spectacular book!

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Good lessons. Audio could be better.

I love everything about this except for the fact that the narration can be a bit quiet at times. Almost as if they’re bouncing close and away from the microphone at times. Other than that this is a great read even if you’re not polyamorous. Lots of relationship and life lessons to be learned.

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Nothing that enlightening

meh. repeated the same mantra over and over again. Nothing here is based on understanding of human psychology it basically 60s free love.

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  • Sarah Clarner
  • 2020-04-06

I loved this book!

I was raised to be a monogamous minister's daughter and really appreciate the open minded and broad horizons they laid out in this book. Normalizing the freedom to love and have healthy relationships outside of the past limits was a much needed thing for me. The speaker was calm and gentle. It made it a very easy listen for me. I have already referred many people to this book.

9 people found this helpful

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  • Troy
  • 2015-07-28

The information and advice is 100% totally solid!

Where does The Ethical Slut rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

The open mindedness, sex positive approach, and enthusiasm was enjoyable.

What did you like best about this story?

Good solid read, with enough examples to use in everyday life.

What didn’t you like about Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton ’s performance?

Having a younger, more modern adaption would have enhanced my experience. Their performance was good, my extreme reaction was more toward the grandma-like reading from Hardy and Easton - describing hardcore sex acts in detail to 20 and 30 something’s leaves a little bit to be desired.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

Hire a much younger staff and make it relevant to our modern time.

Any additional comments?

I don’t want anyone to misinterpret this review, this book is great! – all the information herein is solid, well delivered, and 100% on point. I have been in a relationship for 8 years where my wife and I love to take women home for 3 way sex, bondage and discipline, top/bottom sex – or whatever you want to call it. This book is specifically geared to relationships like these. Some of the ladies we hook up with end up staying around for a while because it just works - some don’t. This book is very good at looking at the dynamic of relationships like these and also very good at offering advice for this type of situation.My critique lies in the delivery, and approach. No offense to the authors who also speak the audio commentary (read the book to you), but the experience is like having my hippy grandmother tell me very detailed stories about how her and all her old friends used to get it on back in the day. A lot of the material doesn’t translate well to someone who is, say in their 20’s or 30’s; it just doesn’t – I feel our generation is way more open than those of the past. So even though, all the information in the book is absolutely great advise for a kinky relationship or a vanilla relationship. They push good, open values that stress on the importance of communication, it's just weird having it told to you by an older person. So I would suggest this book to everybody – just be ready to have it read to you by a nice old woman who loves to use terms like cunt, cock, & ass fucking.

65 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2017-10-09

This novel was eye opening and very informative.

I felt that this author spoke of and disccussed controversial taboo topics in way that made them acceptable and perspective changing .

3 people found this helpful

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  • CrashingGirl
  • 2018-03-01

Great for all but really great for beginners.

This was the sixth book I’ve read on this subject as I attempt to move from monogamy to a open relationship. The idea was completely scary and foreign to me however this is one of my favorite books that really gave me some relevant information and tips on how to manage through this transition. I feel I’m well on my way to understanding where I sit in on different relationship styles. I highly recommend this book for anyone considering or currently in this lifestyle. I may return to monogamy eventually however I feel this book helps me get a good understanding of my other options leaving me feeling non-judge and free to make a choice regardless of what that is. The authors are very kind and gentle however direct in the information provided

29 people found this helpful

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  • Angie Holubowich
  • 2016-04-19

Like a "Choose your own Adventure" book about sex.

Would you try another book from Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton and/or Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton ?

No, I do not think their viewpoints and spectrum of knowledge are helpful to me.

Would you ever listen to anything by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton again?

No

Which scene was your favorite?

The chapter on sex parties and group sex were the most useful.

Was The Ethical Slut worth the listening time?

At a mere 10 hours, you would think it would have been easier to handle. But I found this book to be a trudge through monotone voices and delusional sexual utopia.

Any additional comments?

I really looked forward to this book. All the reviews and feedback from friends and colleagues, I expected a revelation and what I got instead was a book that was constantly telling me to refer to another chapter for more information. (A little hard to do when you are listening to an audio book.)

The authors speak a lot about their own personal lives and their existence within a sexual utopia where there is no jealousy and everything seems to fit like a glove. It is a hard lesson to simply tell someone, "You're feeling jealous? Well don't."

If it was that easy I would simply choose not to feel that and save myself the credit for "The Two Towers" by Tolkien. At least that will not be constantly sending me back on an adventure on page 69 to find out more.

25 people found this helpful

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  • Brian W Bales
  • 2020-05-25

Fantastic wisdom for every person!

This is my second time through the book, first time through the audio book and I have to say I loved it! This is a fantastic book that covers communication extensively! I highly recommend this book for couples and singles whether you're gay straight or whatever to help you on your path at whatever level you practice love making. I love that this book was written by two women and the reading of it as well! Very engaging stuff very intriguing stuff filled with tons of information to put in your toolbox of communication, compassion, understanding, Joy Etc
I wish everyone could read this regardless of their sexual proclivities. please look past the title if you have any judgment around it whatsoever. There is so much good stuff in this book I promise you will be pleased!
B1YOGI

2 people found this helpful

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  • Viola K.
  • 2017-10-24

Great for all relationships

Definitely a good read for all relationship types. Read by the authors which makes it super personal and comforting. Loved every minute of hearing this.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2016-10-19

fairly decent

the information was fairly decent, the reader a little bit boring for my taste. Listening to this book was almost like listening to some Christian book, except with a complete opposite point of view. Where Christianity tells you any kind of sex before marriage is a terrible idea, this book makes it sound like any kind of rules in regards to monogamy, or heterosexuality are the worst ever. In my opinion either extreme is narrow-minded and above all, untrue.

13 people found this helpful

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  • Dawn Woodard
  • 2015-08-05

absolute must read

This is an amazing book for anyone and everyone engaging in relationships or exploring sexuality. It provides advice, ideas, guidance, and an incredibly sane, healthy perspective for connecting with others and ourselves, in contrast to a culture that associates shame with so much of that exploration.

9 people found this helpful

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  • Priscilla
  • 2018-05-14

Not for me.

Way to much hippie free love and it comes off condescending. There was little in the way of practical advice and although it mentions "many types of polyamory" this book seems to solely focus on those who want to live in what they call constellations - many long term relationships. There is no Male perspective at all. Overall I found this book not useful and feels really outdated.

13 people found this helpful

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Gabrielle L.
  • 2018-04-11

Life changing

I am so happy to have read this book. it changed all my perceptions on love and sex. I understood so much things about myself. Thank you deeply xx

1 person found this helpful

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  • Client Amazon
  • 2019-02-06

2nd Edition only

Too bad this is just the second edition. Janet and Dossie have edited (a lot) and completed a third edition since, but nevertheless, this is one of the most important essay I ever read about love and freedom. Invaluable.