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The Haunted Forest Tour cover art

The Haunted Forest Tour

Written by: Jeff Strand, James A. Moore
Narrated by: Joe Hempel
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Publisher's Summary

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back, and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature's most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you'll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.

Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn't even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws - you'll see them all!

Not thrilling enough? Well, it's Halloween, and so we're offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you're guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100 percent safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever. 

We promise.

©2007 James A. Moore and Jeff Strand (P)2018 Tantor

What listeners say about The Haunted Forest Tour

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Fun and freaky

Joe Hempel is a great narrator for this, as he has a voice for YA fiction but this gory little tale is anything but. A wild premise and a gory story. Ending was a little rushed but this was a gooder.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

chaotic

very interesting. constant action and gruesome gore. like watching a horror movie. I enjoyed it and would recommend it.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Good time-waster.

If you're in the mood to listen to a silly monster story, this is the book for you. It's a nonsensical romp through a leafy maze replete with practically every kind of monster imaginable. The Haunted Forest Tour isn't Pulitzer Prize material, but the story, characters, ludicrous frights and narration are worth a credit if you're desperate for a light listen.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Started great then went downhill fast!

The story started out great and I was anticipating listening to it, but then it got all twisted and the plot went from mysterious and scary, to a ridiculous plot of a deal with the Devil ..or pestilence to be exact. It went from scary to silly, it then started to drag as it flipped between characters and what they were going through trying to escape the forest and after a while that became tedious and boring so even with only two hours left, I started skipping chapters.

I’ll say the author was very imaginative with the sort of creatures contained within the forest, but it also became a little bit outrageous and too ridiculous. What started out as scary, changed to, I don’t even know how to explain it. It was like a child coming up with different creatures so when you look at them you’re like oh that’s spooky but really you’re thinking holy moly that’s so silly. I felt like this was a running theme throughout the book, that it felt almost childish.

I know a lot of others like the narration, to me it was OK, but, it was just like someone reading a book and trying too hard to make the characters or the creatures scary, without success.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Absolutely excellent book

Wasn’t at all what I expected. A truly great horror novel. This would make an incredible movie on the hands of the write screenwriter. Loved it from start to finish.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Like the Mist and jurassic park had a baby

A fantastic read.
Rib butt, but have lacked any sense of actually having a linear story that makes sense. It was silly and fun and gory and over the top. Just showing sequence after sequence. The bad guy was also real silly again maybe feel like I was watching Jurassic park with that sense of danger and fantasy about people making the choice to mess with things they shouldn't. But overall, I probably regained again. It was really entertaining and if your fan of monsters, this is a book for you.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

A Ridiculously Silly - But Entertaining - Romp

As long as you set your expectations realistically, this uproariously campy "creature feature" of a story would be a great way to spend a long drive or a boring night shift. Jeff Strand and James A. Moore aren't worthy of winning writing awards (I'm frankly shocked that Strand won a Hugo), but this gory Lovecraftian-Monster rollercoaster-ride is described nicely and informed by appropriately cartoonish characterization & dialogue. Watching ridiculously armed dipshits (grenades, gentlemen? Really!?!) get trapped by Demons "in the park" - as though in a parody of Spielberg's Dinosaur Movie - is a fun distraction.

I actually disagree with reviewers unhappy with the narration of this audiobook. They are correct that Joe Hempel lacks the emotiveness necessary to do this adrenaline-fuelled offering justice.. but setting playback speed at 1.20X made up for most of the timing and voice-acting deficiencies that also plague the recording - I strongly recommend this technique. It rendered the performance at least "average".

If you can get this ludicrous, graphic, 'Scooby-doo'-level-of-complexity "Horror" story as a 'Plus' selection.. you should do so. Just give in and resolve to feed your brain a little bit of junk food.
Should they ask for a Credit, however, you have better places to spend it than this 7/10-star recording.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Good story, good pacing and overall enjoyable

If you want a good supernatural horror that’s not too gory or scary, that has good pacing and some interesting creatures and characters- then this is the story for you.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

great read,would have loved more of ...

I stumbled upon this one randomly and really enjoyed it and not disappointed,but the narrator could have put more into the excitement, terror and overall the emotions of the characters more ,and would have loved to have had more of the tour in the story,maybe some more explanation into the characters at the very first before the trees,but over all i believe it was a great read! I would recommend it.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Unexpected greatness

I was leary, needed something to waste some time...this book is amazing! I couldn't wait till the next chance I had to listen. Exciting, gory, funny and scary. Start to finish action. loved it!

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