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  • The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love

  • Written by: Alice Winters
  • Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
  • Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (55 ratings)

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The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love

Written by: Alice Winters
Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
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Publisher's Summary

What happens when a snarky hit man and a by-the-book PI cross paths?

Leland
Being a hit man has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go.

Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll, Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better. Why else would he be teaming up with me to bring down Hardek, one of the city’s most ruthless criminals?

Jackson
Even though the cops are telling me that the hit man is a notorious contract killer, I can’t help but admit that I’m drawn to him. He’s funny, charismatic, and attractive. There’s no way this ridiculous man can be the person the cops are after.

But when Leland ends up at my doorstep injured, I’m faced with a tough choice. It’s my duty to hand him over to law enforcement, but my heart has other plans. I want to keep him. To protect him. To be with him.

Though one question remains: Why in the world does the man have so many d*mn guns?

Contains: shenanigans on a swing that you would not find at a playground, a car chase that sadly doesn't have flips or explosions, a horsey ride sans horse, cuddles, an exuberant mutt, a suspicious chief of police, and lots and lots of laughs.

©2019 Alice Winters (P)2019 Alice Winters

What listeners say about The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love

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    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious

Honestly, I'm not sure how anyone can read some of these line in this book without even the tiniest hint of a giggle but Michael Ferraiuolo manages to do it. He is absolutely perfect for Leland and Jackson. I read this book prior to it coming out in audio book so I already knew what to expect. What I didn't expect was to find that Michael's delivery made some of Leland's more ridiculous lines even funnier.

Leland is a hyperactive 27 year old hitman who is very good at what he does. He has been The Sandman for a long time and he has never missed a target. Despite the fact that he never stays still when he's on the job he doesn't allow himself to get distracted. That is until Jackson comes along. From the moment he sees the 39 year old private detective he's hooked.

Fair warning this book does not take itself seriously and the humor is absolutely the "dumb" kind so if that's not your thing maybe look for something else. For me though, the often times inappropriate idiocy that is Leland is amazing! I love every bit of him. Jackson is the calm to Leland's storm even if you can feel Jackson's exhaustion at Leland's antics seep through the pages at times.

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2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

This was possibly the Most Hilarious novel that I’ve ever heard!

I just about laughed until I cried! Leland and Jackson are as perfect a pair as possible. Even the steamy moments were as funny as hell! Definitely worth a credit and then some. I cannot wait to start the next one! Snowflake55

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Genius!!

I don’t quite know how Alice Winters does it but she is comedic gold. I loved loved loved this audio book. The snark and sass of Leland combined with the patience and love of Jackson is pure gold. And Michael’s narration of the 2 of them just elevates everything to genius level.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Struggled to finish.

If this had been a book I was reading, I would've DNF about halfway through. But it was audio and I was doing crafts so I listened on even though I rolled my eyes too many times to count. The narrator is great, thank goodness. My issue was the heavy themes paired with the humour (rape, child abuse, human trafficking...). It clashed in a way I couldn't overlook. Leland was way too light and humorous and over the top ALL THE TIME. And I can deal with OTT ridiculous characters, I've read Tales of Verania and it's one of my favorite things EVA. But this was too much. I drew the line when Leland abducted the chief of police cuz he was found out, and Jackson forgave him right away for lying and betraying his trust. The chief of police agreeing to give him a chance as well was a hard no for me.

I guess pulling a humorous book is a delicate thing, because I expected to like this as I love snark and banter and enemies to lovers, but I really disliked it. I'm hesitant to try this author's other books now, even though she's highly recommended in M/M books groups.

I've got nothing bad to say about the narrator though. He's part of the reason I kept listening.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Completely amazing book

I found myself completely absorbed into this book and found myself having a difficult time taking out my headphones. This book was extremely well written and read. It was exciting and funny in ways I could never have expected. I would like to convey my high recommendations for this book and couldn’t wait to get into the second book. I would happily reread this book. To the author I would like to say thank you for an excellent book.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

interesting twist for the main characters

The story was okay, what made it great for me was the interaction of Jackson with his buddy on the police force. I know that the hit man was his love interest but I found the two main characters story was rather predictable - I did enjoy the listen and it did keep me going to the end.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Absolute perfection!

This hysterical story is brought to life by the fantastic narration which takes it to another level! Loved it and can't wait for the next one!

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Leo
  • 2019-11-20

Don't skip this one!

5 Blue Roses
4 Blue Flames

Narrator Michael Ferraiuolo delivered this hilarious romantic comedy with a vengeance. His narration matched the intense energy as Alice Winters most definitely intended. It is so fucking good! This was such a "pick me up". This audiobook bitch slapped me wide awake at 2 am in the morning, I just couldn't stop listening causing me to pull an all-nighter.
Kudo's to the author/narrator team. I will most definitely recommend this audiobook for a Blue Encore 2020, my first one for 2020!

I absolutely recommend this audiobook. It's so funny, don't skip this one!

Happy Listening

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  • Miareadsbooks
  • 2019-11-29

literal tears of laughter

Quite possibly one of the funniest books of the year, I was in literal tears of laughter listening to this narration (definitely do not listen whilst driving, you will only endanger yourself & others when you can't control your laughing). Having Leland and Jackson brought to life in my ears may just be the greatest gift I've given myself, such a joy to listen to and Michael has nailed Leland's hilariously ridiculousness and Jackson's attempt at seriousness perfectly. COULD NOT RECOMMEND MORE!

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24 people found this helpful

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  • Ireadtoomuch
  • 2020-01-31

Hilarious, Touching and Totally Inappropriate

I laughed aloud throughout the performance because hitman Leland has few lines he won't cross. P.I. Jackson has the misfortune to became the target of a bored hitman's interest. But Leland loves to jerk his chain and finds that Jackson is the real deal. Leland's story is actually tragic and his humor is a defense mechanism. I love Jackson because he's a good guy. The only reason for four stars is that I wish the author had reigned in Leland's ridiculousness somewhat. He is beyond crude. But this is both a mystery and a love story that works.

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  • Bethany
  • 2021-01-12

Funny, but at what cost?

While this book did have some laugh out loud funny scenes, and could be sweet at times I couldn't get over how problematic their relationship was. In the beginning Leland's pursual of Jackson was straight up harassment. Jackson continued to tell him no and Leland refused to respect that. Jackson was so controlling, locking Leland away under the guise of keeping him safe. He was always assuming Leland couldn't handle himself, insisting he stay back, even though Leland was clearly more skilled than Jackson and more than able to care for himself. Love doesn't require you to be less than you are just so you can feel cared for. Leland came off as Jackson's pet instead of an equal partner. This is not a healthy relationship I wanted to cheer for. The story was performed perfectly, but I felt uncomfortable the whole time.

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  • Lena Belle
  • 2020-01-01

It’s Leland’s World, You Just Live In It

First Michael bringing Leland to life was out of this world funny. Who could not LOVE Leland and Jackson are funny, steamy, loving and caring together. It’s the perfect opposites attract and age gap romance.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2020-01-14

Fantastic narration and characters!

I have never read or listened to this author or narrator before and I was very happy I tried this audio book. I laughed out loud many many times while listening. This author has written complicated quirky characters ( OMG Leland is awesome!) that the narrator really hit perfectly. Just wow, he was fantastic. Book 2 is out but I'm going to wait till the audio because in this case I dont think reading it will do it justice.

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8 people found this helpful

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  • Eric S.
  • 2020-01-08

I loved this book!!

It was so funny and the narrator was perfect! He brought both characters to life. I would recommend this book for anyone looking for a light hearted book with lots of LOL moments! I can't say enough good things about it!

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Sue 🎧
  • 2019-11-25

entertaining

Did the story keep me engaged: yes
Were there any parts I found annoying: no
Did I feel an emotional connection to the characters: yes
Would I listen to it again: yes

• Story is entertaining, dialog amusing and characters likeable. If you go into this book expecting general silliness and nothing particularly deep you won't be disappointed.
• Michael Ferraiuolo does a fantastic job on the narration, his sweet, snarky always enthusiastic Leland is spot on and Jackson comes across as the perfect straight laced PI.

Thoroughly enjoyed it.

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  • Eliza Paparelli
  • 2020-04-19

Too long!

Not a bad story, but this book needed editing. It would have been better served being broken up into two novels if the author was too wedded to her subplots to cut them. The actual case plot was good, and I mostly liked Leland, but Jackson seemed bland and the parts from his POV didn't grab me after about chapter 4.

Narrator clearly did his best with what he was given, but some of the dialogue, especially Leland's, doesn't really work when spoken aloud, and some things that would be funny in print made me cringe in audio.

The romance felt a bit forced towards the end-- no need to keep TELLING me how in love you're characters are, if you're doing a good job SHOWING it. Also, the sex scenes weren't really my cup of tea.

If you like wacky romance, this might be for you. I felt like the sample gave me an expectation for the characters that wasn't borne out by the book, and the writing could use some more polish, but that's me. If you're intrigued by the sample, by all means give it a listen; there was enough that I liked that I don't regret buying it. Just don't expect it to be over quick!

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  • Janice
  • 2019-11-18

A brilliant, funny, riveting listen.

Alice Winters has become an auto buy for me and each story she crafts has been superb. Hitman’s Guide is highly original, laugh out loud funny and kept me riveted from the first page.
Michael Ferraiuolo is a relatively new to me narrator and he has fast become one of my top five. His voice acting is pitch perfect and perfectly encapsulates each character.
Highly recommended!

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  • JT
  • 2020-08-28

putting the sass in assassinate

If you were ever like "man, Cable and Deadpool should really be dating" boy have I got a book for you.

Leland is manic, immature, distractable, glib, and scarily competent at killing people. He's obnoxious and also adorable. Big ADHD energy, also big Wade Wilson energy. like I'm not saying this concept maybe started life as an AU fic but I AM saying I can see some parallels - and if you like one, I'd imagine you'd like the other.

This whole story is genuinely funny, often verging into goofy, complete with slapstick. And can I say how refreshing it is to encounter characters who LAUGH and seem to have FUN during sex? it's still steamy, but in a way that feels honestly affectionate.

Michael Ferriauolo's narration is PERFECTION. His Jackson voice is very H. Jon Benjamin, while his Leland voice is almost lilting and sweet. And every time the narrative describes a character as laughing (which Leland does quite a lot) he ACTUALLY LAUGHS with the dialogue. It's mostly Leland giggling and it's so cute and charming?? I absolutely loved it. Definitely going to be seeking out more from him.

Overall this audiobook is an absolute keeper for me, worth a relisten and DEFINITELY worth immediately diving into the sequel. Can't wait to see what they get up to next!

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4 people found this helpful